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I Was in an Emotionally Abusive Relationship, and I Didn't Even Realize It

To Tell or Not To Tell

Dear Sugar
My friend's very serious and live in boyfriend tried to hit on me. Should I tell her? I want to, but I don't want things to be weird between us afterward. Honest Hillary

Dear Honest Hillary
The arguments for both telling and not telling are very compelling. By telling her about the pass, you risk ruining her relationship with her boyfriend. Do you want to bear that burden? Also, you run the risk of shedding light on something she may not want out in the open. She could be a Carmella (Soprano) who knows of her boyfriend's infidelities but doesn't care about them as long as she doesn't see it happening. On the other hand, if you don't tell and she eventually finds out, she may be very upset that you've kept this from her. And she may also be disapointed that she didn't know about it sooner so she could have left him long ago. It's a big gamble. You could become either a home wrecker or a savior. How would you want your friend to react if the situation was reversed and your boyfriend hit on your best friend? I think looking at it from that angle is the best way to decide how you are going to proceed.

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