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Is There Such a Thing As Too Nice?

Yesterday pointed out some signs to help its readers determine if they're too nice. According to the article, while women might appreciate a guy with good manners, we're never going to respect a guy who's easy to walk all over. My spin on the signs that a guy is just too nice are as follows:

  • He brings his good manners into the bedroom. Sex is the time when assertiveness is important. After all, a woman doesn't want to get physical with a timid guy.
  • He's too caught up in his girlfriend's interests. Showing that he cares is great, but he should be able to have his own life.
  • His compliments come too often. Women love a compliment from their significant other, but if he compliments too much, it just seems phony.
  • He's willing to put up with too much. It's nice to try to understand another's point of view, but a guy who never stands up for himself is just a drag.
  • He's always in a good mood. No one likes to be around an angry guy, but it's OK for a guy to get angry sometimes.

Although, I actually agree with some of these, I don't think it's because they make a guy too nice. If a guy never gets angry then I'd guess he's repressing emotions, and if he's always caught up in his girlfriend's life then eventually he's going to feel dissatisfied because the balance will be uneven in their relationship. I appreciate a guy with manners and opinions, but I'm not sure that excessive kindness is a bad thing. Do you agree with the article's points? Is there such a thing as too nice?


Join The Conversation
HeidiFox HeidiFox 6 years
If he is too embarrased to take something back, order a special request on the menu, can't think outside the box, accepts when people tell him "that's store policy" and just says "Well, that's what it says?" and never challanges anything how is he going to be there for you when it REALLY matters. Timidity goes along with being a conformist and worried about what "people think." You can be polite and even freindly but yet not take crap and just be so compliant. Like being one of the sheep. It's got to be MORE than just the bedroom. A man may think he is assertive because he can stand-up to the woman but yet he can't take back an item to the store or he wants to fit in with the "guys" for fear of persecution. I don't like a guy who is easily angered or has to blow up but being timid is a REAL TURN OFF!!!
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i think that there IS such a thing as too nice but there's a fine line there. i think that we can all agree that we like to feel like we're in control of our relationships...and if that means knowing that our man will do what we like, or not argue with things etc...well i don't think that's TOO NICE. the problem comes into play when he loses his backbone and doesn't really say his opinion on anything and it means that he's like a little puppy that does what you say cause that's all he's capable of doing. i think that there really does need to be that balance of what he'll do for you and what he does for himself
thelorax thelorax 8 years
I agree with your "spin", Dear, but not necessarily with the "too nice" label. Certainly women want their men to be MEN, which means being assertive and strong and respectable. Being a doormat isn't necessarily "nice", it's just wimpy.
nicklegoat nicklegoat 8 years
U can be 2 nice. It's really boring 2 b around some1 who is 2 nice. there seems 2 be no self assertiveness...which isn't sexy
bbkf bbkf 8 years
The only one I agree with is too nice in the bedroom. I want a guy to be assertive in bed.
queenegg queenegg 8 years
My guy is extremely nice to me, but I'm the same to him. I thought that I wouldn't be able to stand it, however, with him, I've never thought of him as a doormat. He's this amazing guy who wants to do things that I like and I do the same for him. It's very give and take and I wouldn't trade him for any other guy out there.
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
Yeah, I don't want a guy who is a door mat. I don't want a jerk either. A nice mix of the two seems to work out the best :D
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i like my men to be men a little rough around the edges too nice makes me uncomfortable i'm a little mean, and like to make fun of people when they deserve it, and i appreciate a guy who can laugh with me!
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I'm pretty lucky because my guy is nice/caring AND assertive when he needs to be. It's a wonderful mix and I thank his parents for raising him to be as such. :) I don't need to worry when we are out because he'll be the one complimenting the food etc. etc. it's wonderful!
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Ummmm, yeah! Guys can definitely be to nice!!! These are the guys that always go around complaining that girls like bad boys, and why don't girls go for the "nice" guys. Get a clue "nice" guys, Y'ALL ARE PUSHOVERS!!! That's what nice translates to. Everything in moderation. I know a guy that is very much like that list. He does everything on the list, except I wouldn't know about the bedroom stuff, we're just friends. And then he just complains all the time about girls...and then he wonders why he can't find a nice girl that wants to be with him. Hhhhmmm, I wonder why. There's a difference between being nice and being a pushover. And usually, the guys who describe themselves as nice, are pushovers. Truly nice guys don't put so much emphasis on the nice part of themselves. It will be noticed if it's true.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
I actually prefer nice guys, but only if they can be manly when it's appropriate. Beta males all the way! lol
lauraxtc lauraxtc 8 years
yeah i think. I personally also like a little manliness in my men. lol. you know, ruggid and a bit aggresive but sweet at the same time. an ex of mine was way too feminine for me and needy. I mean its nice to be wanted but when they have no life other than to be involved in yours, than that can become a drag for you and eventually turn the relationship off. My man now is Manly and sweet. Im so luckY!!!
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
Forgot to mention that there are guys that could be like this with a certain girl and a wild bull with another!!! It just depends on the girl and how he feels about her. If she is too important, he could be nicer. For the ones he can toss like a Kleenex, he could act aloof, cold and distance... haha.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
No. I have not met anyone like that either. But would love to try out someone like this. It's amazing to be the one calling all the shots. If he is timid in the bedroom, he can just continue to be timid and we can skip getting physicals together... haha.. :)
urban-chic-101 urban-chic-101 8 years
I actually think you can be too nice... I mean no one likes a pushover.
evergirl evergirl 8 years
I'm the first girl my guy has ever been with and while he has come a long way from how timid and shy he used to be, I sometimes wish he would be a little more confident and assertive. He also fits the last point. I have never seen him mad or angry in the year we have been together. He insists that he extremely rarely every gets truly angry. Its kinda weird actually. Sometimes I worry that its a bad thing and he is repressing his emotions or something, then other times its easy to accept that is just who he is. We have never had a fight, and I think this is part of the reason why.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
I have never ever met that guy...I'd probably run away from that robot if I did.
bluestar bluestar 8 years
Umm...I think the good mood one is strange. I would love to hang out with someone who is always in a good mood!
bluesteyes bluesteyes 8 years
Dear sugar, you make me laugh, I've never met anyone with these qualities at once! Maybe two out of the list but not all at once, ha ha. I think the bedroom one is a bit love playing rough sometimes and if he's too gentle, well one can always teach him huh :)
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