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Things He Should Know: Locker Room Only

When you first start dating someone, you both stay on your best behavior. Later, it's soothing the way you feel comfortable doing anything in front of each other, and how entirely yourself you can be. But if you want to keep the romance alive, fellas, there's a small list of things you might want to share strictly with your buddies. We promise to keep some stuff strictly girl friend, too!

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As the honeymoon period recedes and you begin revealing more everyday behaviors, things like belching, passing gas, picking your nose, cutting your toenails in bed, and talking about bodily functions should be off limits, unless you clear it first with your gal. The tips below might help you fly right.

  • Get to know what foods make you gassy and avoid them if you're planning to spend the night with your lady
  • The most common culprits are broccoli, beans, onions, garlic, spicy foods, dairy, fried food, soda and beer, and anything with carbonation
  • Eating too fast wreaks havoc on your stomach and creates a lot of gas. Slow down your eating and make sure to chew your food properly
  • To avoid an upset stomach, eat in a calm environment. Don't eat on the road or standing over the sink. Enjoy your meal and chew with your mouth closed. Not only is it a no-no, but chewing with your mouth open lets in excess air, which can cause gas
  • Antacids are your friends. Beano, Tums, and Gas-X are all effective and easy to find over the counter. Keep them handy

I don't mean to cramp your style or kill your fun, fellas, because we love the clown in you as much as the gentleman. But some things are best expressed when the ladies aren't around.


Join The Conversation
getstinko getstinko 10 years
I really find andaman's comments to be funny, I'm constantly being called metrosexual, but all I am is a guy who cares about his appearance and what my wife thinks. I will tell you though and I stand firm on this - there is no such thing as bisexuality in men, if a fellow gets down with dudes he's gay. He may bide his time between women, but he'll end up with man ass on his mind day and night. You don't flip flop between liking d**k and not liking d**k - and women should never trust a dude who says otherwise.
andaman andaman 10 years
I myself have never met real metrosexual men. When I do meet metrosexual men they tend to be bisexual (some aren't even discrete about it). Sorry but that's my personal experiences with this metrosexual type. I don't want to come across as sexist or anything but I totally think the media has just invented that label for the sake of having something to write about. I think they don't really exist. David Beckam isn't metrosexual (i think his wife dresses him up like a doll). When he isn't with her he looks like a normal bloke in jeans and a nice sweater to me. When he's with her sometimes he looks so done up!
DearSugar DearSugar 10 years
Getstinko -- Thanks so much for your note. I now get the context for your earlier comments. I really will be more careful abt how I frame these posts going forward, and I don't feel this topic is especially "critical" or "important" . . . merely something to think about and discuss here. I don't want all the posts to be too serious or too light, but I know I can be clearer about that -- sort of give some framing. Also, I'm going to think long and hard about the "metrosexual male solution" and "anti regular-guy" experience you're having. Trust me when I tell you I'm very pro regular-guy, I'm pro regular-EVERYbody, and I will make certain to bring more awareness to the posts that I write or edit here. I'm glad you stayed around today so I could really understand.
andaman andaman 10 years
Trust me when you're married that's what you do!
getstinko getstinko 10 years
DearSugar - I guess you are right, I was being a little aggressive. Sorry. My wife toots a lot and so do my kids, I guess thinking that there is a world out there that thinks avoiding tooting is a critical important issue got me irritated. Especially in the grand scheme of relationships where loving someone means more than telling them to not fart and to take beano. I do like this forum, but sometimes the comments are so anti-regular guy and they seem to drive women to think that there is a more Metrosexual male solution to what is really available in the market. I think that this establishes unrealistic expectations, that's why I said "marry a gay" because so many of the comments sound like Graces looking for a Will. I'll try to tone my comments down.
Marci Marci 10 years
Hmmmmm...........well,........I think once you're living together, if you can't just be yourself and eat what you want to eat, then what's the point? I just want to live my life, and I'm sure my boyfriend does too - without having to think twice about if he can eat something or discuss something.
andaman andaman 10 years
Talking about bodily functions: I had to watch an uncut video of child birth in my secondary school. I'm telling you guys it scared me for life! I was and still am very afraid of child birth. It looked horrific! We go through so much pain. They should really write a big cheque for us! It looks like hard work.
Deba Deba 10 years
I dont know where is the big deal of trying to be a little more careful with certain things, like the situation Andaman described, if I ever have an accident of those, I washed my clothes by hand first and then washer, I don't want my bf to see that, that's personal, yes I'm a girl and its a normal process, still personal. Burping I'm sorry but I don't do it in front of every person, and even though my bf knows me I don't like do it in front of him its disrespectful on my opinion. As well as he has learned I dont want to hear the noise while is pooping, so he goes to the bathroom on our second floor when Im on the first one... stuff like that.
LuckyGrl-83 LuckyGrl-83 10 years
LOL... it's funny... in my relationship, the one with issues about bodily functions is the bf, not me!! he wont even talk about it hehehe... he gets all embarrased when i call him out on his trips to the farthest, most unused bathroom in the house, bc i KNOW what hes gonna do :)
DearSugar DearSugar 10 years
I think the spirit of the post, which didn't come across, has a lot to do with what you just wrote, andaman. We all have different comfort levels and thresholds for things -- especially bodily things -- and for a host of reasons. It's wise that none of us presume that our experiences or thresholds are standards or universals. That includes DearSugar. Still, it's good to think about and worthwhile to talk about it. And it's also true that these comfort zones can sometimes change and become more flexible over time, very likely for the reasons getstinko was trying to introduce: time, life experience, shifting of priorities and growing intimacy.
andaman andaman 10 years
I don't know if this is the right place for this post but I had a conversation with some male friends about seeing their girlfriends (very long term girlfriends) clothes with blood on in the washing baskets (you know the time of the month thing) They told me it was not very nice for them to see it but some of them were quite happy to put them in the washing machine. They said they didn't mind putting the clothes in the machine but some said they had never seen any blood on her clothes (to me that's almost impossible!). I think it's quite normal but then I'm a girl ! I didn't realise men are put off by things like that. I mean they've been dating more than 5 years in these cases!
DearSugar DearSugar 10 years
getstinko -- not every post is for everyone, and not every post will be 100% spot-on. but to say 'caring about this stuff is stupid' and making the comment about not wanting to be with men and so pursuing gay women or men (which is frankly questionable, as gay men and women are not sexual substitutes for anyone) is not really how we play on the dearsugar comments site, as it's not really in the spirit of things here. you seem angered by this post, and i certainly want you to express your feelings and opinions, but i'd also like that to happen in a way that leaves room for everyone and isn't aggressive or belligerent. i'm capable of learning from the ideas and suggestions of the readers, so feel free to express them with that in mind. we have conversations here, bring goodwill, and we disagree, too. it works out alright. thanks so much.
getstinko getstinko 10 years
have kids, change a 1000 diapers, figure out why caring about this stuff is stupid. By the way that ex-bf of yours might get over the pee/pooh thing when he sees you crap all over the place during childbirth. oh yeah, lets keep it real.
Deba Deba 10 years
Well girls, I had ex-bf that truly said to me more than once that girls don't poop they just take a pee, that the idea of girls pooping its soooo disgusting to him that if he accepts that he will never see girls as delicate and so and so... and I bet there are TONS of guys that think that way. And I really prefer not to fart in front of my bf, not because I have to be a "lady" 24/7, but because I don't to stink in front of him
rustedwings rustedwings 10 years
I'm going to have to give Get a hearty here here. "Talking about bodily functions should be off limits, unless you clear it first with your gal." lol What? Who is this a problem for? I'd prefer that Dear stay silent on some issues if this is what is being offered up. A locker room only issue that might be more interesting would be how some women who have to deal with chatty boyfriends over-sharing with friends, and how some men have to deal with the same from their girls. But this? Not so much.
getstinko getstinko 10 years
Again with the sexism on this site! Marry a woman or a gay if you don't want to be with men. People fart, burp and take craps - it's life! You don't think men could put together top tips for women about how to be more feminine, clean or appealing? geez, get off your high horse.
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