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Things You Forget When You're Single

Things You Forget When You're Single

The saying “the grass is always greener” couldn’t be more true. It’s just so easy to glamorize what we don’t have, especially when it comes to relationships. When you’re taken, it suddenly feels like everyone is living la vida loca, and when you’re single, all the negative that comes with being in a relationship magically disappears. But the truth is, just because you’re glamorizing something doesn’t actually make it more glamorous, so I thought I’d put together a list to remind the single folks what they’re not missing! To check it out,

  • Being in a relationship requires a lot of time and energy. Sure, the benefits should outweigh the work, but still, it can be tiring.
  • That new crush feeling goes away. Being in love is great, but it’s just not the same as the adrenaline rush you get when you meet someone new.
  • You have to accommodate and compromise all the time. A serious couple has to check in with each other before they make plans and forgo certain things to appease each other.
  • You can’t hang out with your friends as much as you want. Even if you and your boyfriend are extremely conscious of maintaining your friendships, it’s just not possible to spend as much time with your friends as you used to. This is totally normal, but still a bummer.
  • Your days of silly flirting, first kisses, and hourlong makeout sessions are over (at least for a while).

In my opinion, the absolute best part about being single is having all that potential at your fingertips — there's just no way to recreate that particular feeling! What am I leaving out? Please share your own ideas below.


Join The Conversation
MissChita MissChita 9 years
Oh, and I forgot - getting to wear that ugly headrag (The girls who have to do this KNOW what I'm talking about) around the house all day if you're not in a getting dressed up kinda mood w/o your guy making comments about you looking sloppy, etc... LOL, I promise, when I get in another relationship I will a great mate, but for now, I will enjoy my singleness!
MissChita MissChita 9 years
Indigo tide - I so agree. I'm so used to being in long relationships and basically going from one to another that I had to learn that its ok to be by myself. And right now this is defnitely a 'getting to know me' phase. I have been single for about 3 months now, and I feel free! And for those that were getting all sensitive about being in a relationship - no one is bashing relationships!! This isnt about you right now so let it go. This topic is for the single women out there who forget that its ok to be single (especially if its needed or if you just got out of a not so good relationship and arent used to being alone). But yes, there are great pros to being single - watching WHATEVER TV YOU want; walking around the house naked (yeah you can do it w/ your S.O. but sometimes you dont want eyes on you); Going where you want, when you want, and with WHOEVER you want w/o have to check in or explain; Not having to vouch or take up for him or getting in the middle of mess if he says something stupid or rude to your friends. Yes, its only been three months and at times I do miss having someone, but at the same time, I dont. I'm coming to a point where the most important thing in my life is PEACE. If I have a mate, that will be great. As long as we have peace. But if I must be single to obtain that, then I will live with that too.
indigo-tide indigo-tide 9 years
In the midst of my most recent breaking off, I walked away from the conversation and attempted to open a bottle of wine in my fridge, despite being only a light drinker. I was too shaky to use a corkscrew. He offered to open it. Within a few minutes, and a few sips, I asked him to leave. One of the bad things about being single: There's only a 50/50 chance that you'll be able to uncork that wine by yourself. One of the good things about being single: You don't have to share your wine. So note to self: boxed wine is ok too. ;) I think the hard part about being single after a long relationship, is learning to be okay with just being yourself. And it seems to be that as soon as you are okay with just that, someone comes along and screws that all up! pfft.
GradGrl75 GradGrl75 9 years
I must put my 2 cents in here...I love being single. I would say the only that really stinks is the fact that I am 33 and right now most of my friends have boyfriends/husbands and I feel like the odd one out. When the weekends come around they do things wit their signif others, and i wonder what i will watch on Tivo. Now don't get me wrong, i actually do things by myself, andI do miss being in a relationship, but my last one was not the healthiest and I have taken this time to get to know myself better. Also the dating pool is shrinking as each year passes...blah!
imcs imcs 9 years
I love being married and I loved being single. I guess I've always enjoyed every stage of my life. I feel bad when my friends are just so miserable b/c their single (we all have our days, but I know some girls who have no self worth without a man). Anyway, one of the greatest things about being single is not paying for your drinks. When you go out, drinks can be so expensive and I never realized it, until my husband started paying for them and it reflected on OUR bank account :O LOL I don't know how guys do it!!! ~
mbkosel mbkosel 9 years
I feel like I've been able to see the whole spectrum of relationships. I recently got married, and even more recently am getting divorced (long story). Before marriage/single: had a BLAST being with my girlfriends, making and spending my own money, being myself. in relationship: Loved having someone to come home to, share things with all the time after marriage/single: kind of scary, miss the feeling of having someone, BUT VERY EXCITED to be single and be myself again!!! The grass is definatly greener if you don't apriciate what you have. Enjoy yourself in what ever stage your in. Being single is a ton of fun, don't fret! HAVE FUN!
PatriciaLynne12 PatriciaLynne12 9 years
My 28 year old daughter and I agree that we particularly enjoy that freeing feeling you experience when you instantly but randomly remember, "I don't have ANYONE I have to report to right now, I can do WHATEVER I want." It is a rush. The world feels big and yours. Patricia
sunkissbabe sunkissbabe 9 years
Gumdrops, I totally agree! I am getting to "that age" where my friends are in long-term relationships - and I should be too. Being single does have advantages, but in the long-run I would love be in a relationship - a companion.
gumdrops334 gumdrops334 9 years
This wasn't an attack on relationships guys! Lighten up. Single people (like me) tend to pine about wanting to be in a relationship, so this was a nice reminder about the good things about being single. I think more single people want to be in a relationship than vice versa, because being single has a stigma. I hate that most of my friends have boyfriends, and I'm usually left in the dust. I guess I don't think about the fact that maybe they hate that they can't spend as much time with their friends. The grass is always greener.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
lemassabielle - I have to completely disagree with you. I've been with my husband for 12 years and love him dearly, but I am secure enough to admit that there are definitely fun and exciting things about single life. The fact that people can see the positives about being single doesn't mean they are daydreaming about being single and fighting all the time in their relationship. :?
alltherage alltherage 9 years
yeah i think this is just a good things about being single not necessarily a bad thing to be in a relationship. im single and i want to be in a relationship. but there ARE good things about being single -- and its nice to be reminded of them
rachelbojangles rachelbojangles 9 years
I agree with those. I HATED having to call/text my bf 3-4 times during the day. If we went like 12 hours without speaking one of us would start freaking out and think the relationship is over. I had to sometimes schedule my job around him. He convinced me to call out of work a few times so we could hang out. I remember being so stressed I had to drop classes at college cause I couldn't concentrate on my work. I regret dating from age 18-21. I could've had a degree by now. :( I also took many different anti-depressants during my relationship. And coincidently about 2 weeks after breaking up I realized I hadn't taken my pills in a while. I felt fine though cause I didn't need them. That was a year and a half ago and it's been the best time of my life since then.
leenie leenie 9 years
I don't think the point of this was to make relationships seem like a bad thing. The title is "Things you Forget When You're Single". The point was to share some of the good parts about being single. Relationships are great, but we live in a world where being single is still perceived as not as good -- and it's nice to focus on some of the good parts about being single.
lemassabielle lemassabielle 9 years
I think if you're in the right relationship it shouldn't be difficult and you wouldn't be day dreaming about the single life. It's normal to fight once in a blue moon but if it's too difficult to be in a relationship it's probably not worth it.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
I enjoy married life, but there are certain aspects of being single I miss: -Full autonomy (decision-making) on money matters -No in-laws (If I wasn't married to my husband, my in-laws and I would not be in each other's lives. We're very different) -Not being accountable to anybody - I can go wherever I want, do whatever want, etc. There was more freedom. The list goes on, but I'll stop here. :)
mmmmkay mmmmkay 9 years
I completely agree with AVA MARiE, just because you are in a relationship does not mean all the feelings and +'s of being single are over, as long as you balance everything. If things are not at the right balance, take a step back to find the problem and then change it.
ashleycheer ashleycheer 9 years
I so agree! But still, being in a relationship is something we all want to be in.
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
Lighten up, people. There's no reason people can't focus on the positive about their situation. It's not an attack on yours! New attractions, crushes, the feeling of falling in love, all those hopes and possibilities are all amazing parts of life and you only really get that when you're single. So, enjoy the hell out of them for the rest of us, currently single ladies! :rotfl:
avettafawna avettafawna 9 years
All those posts last month about psycho in-laws made me feel grateful for being single.
Some of these posts really remind me of people thinking that relationships are the end of life. Are their pros to being single? Sure...but you can do everything you do when you are single in a relationship, except like, have sex with every person you know. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you don't have friend or you won't hang out with them. You don't have to let a relationship get in the way of friendships, some people let it in the beginning when everything is new, but if you're smart, you'll figure out a way to balance the two. You want to go out? Will it really kill you to say "I'm going out with Meredith for dinner, I'll be back at 8"? No, it won't -- it's just letting the person know that you'll be home at a certain time and not to worry. No more first kisses...but if people wanted first kisses for their whole life, millions of people would not be getting married this year. The new crush feeling goes away, but I'm sure the single people who don't want to be single WANT to have the feeling of being in love and not just being infatuated with someone. Flirting and makeout sessions don't go away. I mean, is being in a relationship the end of fun and passion? Nope. Anyway, people who are in a relationship are usually happier. While being single was alright (I didn't really care that I was single) being in a relationship, having someone to come home to, having someone who wants me to be safe and cares about where I am and what I am doing is friggen awesome. You couldn't pay me enough to be single again. I do think a lot of people who are single glamorize relationships -- it's not all fun and games, but life isn't all fun and games. But a lot of people who are single (and probably bitter) catastrophize it as well.
ladychaos ladychaos 9 years
Subtleheights, I second that motion. My closest friends have always been male, and now my boyfriend constantly states if I go ANYWHERE with them when its just the two of us, its considered a date. That means I can't even go to the mall with my bestfriend (who I've known since 13) without him getting mad about it. Also, another thing you don't have to worry about when single: your boyfriend making comments offensive to your friends.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I agree people generally have a tendency to feel like the grass is greener. The last time I was single I loved it. "having to investigate scary sounds on your own" I have to agree 100% with that though.
missbanana missbanana 9 years
kgtg.. lol. actually when i was single.. i shaved my legs once a week! then when i met my bf.. i shaved like everyday! lol
kgtg1 kgtg1 9 years
I totally agree with all these things, but to be fair we should have a list of things that aren't so great about being single! Having to zip your own dresses up, having to investigate scary sounds on your own, having to shave your legs a lot more often, etc.. : )
Masqueraded_Angel Masqueraded_Angel 9 years
I am also extremely grateful for my husband, but yeah...sometimes I do remember how it was to be single. :) However, it is nice when the hubby takes my son for the day and gives mommy some "me time"'s almost like getting a mini-visit back to singlehood! :D ...except for the flirting...that's off limits, for obvious reasons.
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