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Tip No. 1: Surviving Valentine's Day When You're Single

Tip No. 1: Surviving Valentine's Day When You're Single

Intimacy expert Patty Brisben brought us some great tips on how to avoid a sex slump during the holiday season, in addition to helping us figure out how to get the romance back afterward, and I'm thrilled to say that she's back! Since another holiday is approaching — this one dedicated to lovers — I thought it'd be helpful to have Patty teach us a few things about how to weather this international day of love no matter what your relationship status is. She'll be offering 14 tips from now until Valentine's Day, so enjoy!

To see Patty's first tip for the single gals,


People often mistakenly believe that intimacy can only take place with a partner, but I'm here to tell you that this just isn’t true! There are all sorts of bedroom accessories that will give you a little pick-me-up on Valentine’s Day, or any time of the year for that matter. Sexuality starts with you, and that means discovering what makes you feel good and giving yourself pleasure regardless of whether you're single or attached.

Be sure to check back with us next week to see Patty's second tip!


Join The Conversation
hibiscus96818 hibiscus96818 8 years
I'm single and I don't feel like I have "survived" anything the day after Valentine's. It is just another day when I work and go to school. This year it falls on a weekend, so I might grab my best friend and go out to dinner.
Jinx Jinx 8 years
It actually celebrates the death and burial of Valentinus! :rotfl:
Marci Marci 8 years
I'm so happy to see so many other like-minded women on here. A 'How to' on getting through Valentine's Day because you're single? I was a single girl for many a Valentine's Day and never felt like the odd man out. It can be a lovely day when you're with someone special for the first year or two, but I mostly see it as a shakedown to spend money. I've had more romantic days in the middle of August than on the required February 14th. This year we'll be taking the car in for a tune-up. But we'll be together, and that's all that I care about.
joecer49123 joecer49123 8 years
And that's why I don't participate here that much anymore... it caters to a more desperate, needing a man and sex to validate being a woman type. Pitiful. It is possible to ignore the day altogether. Once you're a mother the kids activities take center stage anyway, they usually give me gifts that are priceless anyway! Fondle your pathetic self she advices...what a loser.
lemassabielle lemassabielle 8 years
I'm single for the first time in three years this Valentines day and don't really mind. The thing that bothers me is all my friends are in relationships so I won't even have any single ladies to go out with for the night to flirt with guys, oh well. It's just another day.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
Not much of a tip!
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
MegN, I totally agree! It definitely doesn't celebrate its origins these days....
MegN MegN 8 years
I don't understand why the gay people haven't completely taken over Valentine's day. After all it's a holiday celebrating how one man would wed people when marriage wasn't legal.
cupcake_ cupcake_ 8 years
I dislike Valentine's Day and I am not even single. When I was single I would get together with some of my girlfriends and we'd have a "girls night". We didn't do this because we felt sad, lonely or depressed but just to spend time with each other. Vday has never meant that much to me.
karen-zoo karen-zoo 8 years
I think a fun get together with your single girlfriends is my preferred way to spend Valentines day. Last year we watched rom coms :)
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
OK, here are my predictions for other tips for SURVIVING this horrid day if you have the soul crushing condition of being single. Pamper yourself! Hang out with single friends! Do something nice for others! Really freaking groundbreaking stuff like that. :faint: Certainly not just a halfassd regurgitation of something that every RA in a freshman dorm puts up on the board for all of February or something which Cosmo has been publishing every year since the 50s. :oy:
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
Valentine's day is a day when your secret admirer express likeness in you. Valentine's day is a day that celebrates the wonders of being a valentine to one another. Valentine's day is the best day to get married for you demonstrated that you would always remember the individual along with millions of others even when your love may or may not last. Valentine's day is a day to reflect on the overly indulgent love that you've been receiving all years along from your beloved. Valentine's day is a day to be gratuitous about the fact that you are a woman and to be so privilege to received and to be in love with your beloved. Valentine's day is a day you thank god or whoever higher being you believe in for having your beloved in your life and you are thanking for having the precious and romantic memories which no one could take them away from you, once experienced. Valentine's day is a day to renew your vows that you strongly believe in everlasting love and love that last till death brings apart that even at the moment you meet death, you swear you would be a pair with your beloved for the many generations to come, rich or poor, healthy or handicapped, male or female, smooth sailing or through difficulties. You will hold hands and offer your love in its entirety for your beloved. Everything else in this world is meaningful unless there is a "WE".
True-Song True-Song 8 years
Even though I've been in a relationship forevvvverrr, due to scheduling conflicts in the past, this is our first real valentine's day! I'm excited to have a romantic dinner at a romantic restaurant and go home and get a romantic present.
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
When I was single, I always celebrated anyway!! It's a day for love, right?! I'd wear red/ pink, hand out little Valentines, and go out drinking with a bunch of other single ladies (Valentine candy in my handbag for distributing!). We even had a V-Day party one time. Any excuse!
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Not that big a deal, but sucks when going through a breakup and there's a day in the year that constantly slams you with all that relationship lovey dovey crap.
emalove emalove 8 years
Valentine's Day was never big on my radar...when I was single, in a relationship, or married as I am now. It's nice to spend time with the person you love, of course, but I never got into having it as a holiday.
Simone-Grant Simone-Grant 8 years
I don't need to survive Valentine's Day but I do need to keep my temper because I swear I'm going to lose it if I have to spend the next couple of weeks reading articles about Valentine's Day and the plight of the poor singles like me who have to face it alone. For chrissakes, it's a holiday created and marketed by a greeting card company so that we would spend money. Don't we all have more important stuff to deal with?
margokhal margokhal 8 years
There's no "survival" to it!! Why oh why is it still seen as a *deficiency or illness* to be single on V-Day, like it's something that needs to be cured or managed?!!? Valentine's Day just makes a lot of things inconvenient, like most other holidays. I won't be able to get to my favorite restaurant that weekend, boxes of chocolate are really expensive, and there's a shortage of clothing I wear that is red. I'm not a romantic, either, so the whole commercialization of the day makes me sick. How about an article series on "Awesome Things to Get Out and Do/See While You're Single", even a special Valentine's Day edition? :)
zabrow zabrow 8 years
i haven't ever had a problem "surviving" valentine's day. i LOVE valentine's day! i love making cheesy valentine's for my friends & family & getting stupid little heart shaped gifts & boxes of chocolate for everyone. so much fun. i know it's super commercialized, so that's why it's so fun to play around with it & spoil EVERYONE you love, not just your significant other.
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
I agree with the above. I also think as you get older, it becomes less and less important....most of my married friends think it is "obligatory", and my brother-in-law calls it a Hallmark Holiday. Don't get me wrong, I love getting roses and sweet things on V-day...I would just rather get them on other days "just because" or have a guy show me he cares in little ways every day. I would venture to say most guys dislike this "holiday" because of the expectation that they have to come through with something. I think it is more of a girl thing.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
I agree with the others. Valentines Day is just another day. If you need to "survive" it, you might have some issues. Maybe work on balancing your life out chatondeneige said, instead of having your life revolve around whether you have a guy or not.
itsheathermfruth itsheathermfruth 8 years
I'm single and I have no problems with it, I treat myself though. I go and get my nails done, I get my hair cut, and I dye my hair. I make sure it's the right time for all of those things when it rolls around just so I'm busy and I feel good at the end of the day not for anyone else but just for me.
starangel82 starangel82 8 years
I'm single. Valentine's day isn't a survival thing for me. It's just another day.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I agree even single I've always loved this holiday and never had an issue if I wasn't part of a "couple."
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
I'm pretty disappointed that in this day and age we still believe that singles need to "survive" Valentine's day. It's just a day like any other, no survival tips are necessary to any well balanced, sane woman.
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