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Tips to Keep Her at Bay?

I just came across an article on that still has my head spinning. The male author offers up some tips on dating someone new. He feels that the trick to keeping her interested is to be slightly aloof and starts off saying, "making her seem like an enhancement to your life by 'taking time out of your busy schedule' to spend with her will make her feel special." He continues to advise men to get a life, to make a woman wonder if she's being thought of and to limit the phone interaction and time spent together. He suggests "first-date lingering" — meaning not to extend the date into the the wee hours of the evening — and lastly, to decline some of her invitations.

Now as a woman who not only loathes the game but also advises women not to play it, I can't help but feel disappointed that there are men out there advising other men to do just that! I agree that there's something to be said about keeping a level of independence in your relationship — we've all heard of too much too soon — but tell me, do you think his suggestions take it a bit too far? How would you feel if the new guy you started dating actually took these tips to heart?


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belaclya belaclya 9 years
Hmm, I'd drop the guy, pronto! I hate games and gamesters. Sounds like the advice given encourages men to be players, not genuine men looking for a real relationship. I feel the same about women who play games, too. Life is too short for people who want to play games.
Janine22 Janine22 9 years
Honestly, if a guy did this I would just assume that he wasn't interested and move on. I am not looking for a game player, and I think any woman that wants a serious relationship would not be interested in a man who tried to be aloof. If the man wants me, he can pursue ME, I certainly won't be pursuing him. But I could see a lot of stupid women liking this, because then they are not sure if he really likes her, and she'll be thinking about it and wondering. Personally, if a guy likes me, he had better be honest, because I won't waste any time wondering. If he acted like this article suggests, I would start dating someone else. BTW, I have never said the "he's too nice" thing, although I was attracted to jerks when I was younger. But those were always the guys assertive enough to pursue me... Luckily, my fiance had the nerve to chase me and he is a really nice person. :)
Sumhope Sumhope 9 years
i would assume he wasn't interested and find someone who wants to spend time with me. Showing someone your interested is flattering there's no need to play games... especially since your playing with someones heart
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I don't play games. It's a waste of everyone's time. If you're both aware that you want to be together just do it.
Bettyesque Bettyesque 9 years
This would leave me on an endless path of questioning everything. Which leads to paralysis by analysis lol. We'd go no where if he acted like this. Im not sure how I would react to something like this..I mean we were apart for a year and that was wretched but it also made me want him more and more :ponder: hmmm this guy maybe on to something lol.
Blackwood Blackwood 9 years the question: "How would you feel if the new guy you started dating actually took these tips to heart?" ...I would lose interest as soon as he started to do all that inmature sh*t, and really I believe I'd be better off that way! What is more, I would probably not get that he's playing games and think that he wasn't interested after all and I'd move on, maybe dating someone else, only to find out later that he was just playing hard to get... this stuff has happened in the past. Which could have been easily avoided if the interested person in question had just spoke up and tell it like it is. Like you don't waste enough time of your life doing things you don't like already... why waste it instead trying to enjoy the most that it can give you, the sooner the best? what if a train actually rolls over me before he gets a chance to ask me out again because he was too busy being such an a-hole? :P I know this sounds dramatic, but IT HAS HAPPENED :( (although I didn't get hit by a train... I had a car accident, but the point remains the same) Ugh. Back to men following that kind of advice, seriously... what's up with them? Why would I be ever interested in such a pr*ck?
Meike Meike 9 years
Personally, I find game-playing utterly stupid. And, like someone else has mentioned, it is manipulative and a waste of time if you are looking to start off new on an honest relationship.
northofantastic northofantastic 9 years
If I guy acted that way with me, I would think he wasn't interested. Games do not amuse. :(
Sporky Sporky 9 years
Games are for kids. Period. And I'm glad I never went to that website. :)
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
ok ok, last one I promise... j2e1n9 said it best: "Here's my advice, stay off That is a lame ass website that will just piss you off and make you paranoid. And thats exactly what its there for. Boycott it." I really really wish we could edit comments, lol.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Oh and almost famous I agree with you too. Guy sites that seem to be the equivalent of this site are not telling guys how to have relationships like what most girls want...its telling them how to get laid and then get out of the situation with the least trouble for them. Sorry for the multiple posts,lol, I keep thinking of things! :-P
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
I used to talk to my ex about this website, and I think he just politely listened to me...hahahahha. I always thought I was doing him a favor by giving him insight into girls!!!!! In other words I was giving him insight INTO ME!!!! b/c obviously he can read all of my opinions on everything! lol, but apparently he didn't care.
Muirnea Muirnea 9 years
Hahahaha, I'll fight you whenever you want bluestar!!!! lol lol lol lol lol lol lol lol.... :-P As to the post...I think it is good that both sexes "play games" but NOT ON PURPOSE! People naturally play games just because they start feeling different ways and b/c they really do have lives...for ex. if a guy says he can't hang out friday night b/c he is hanging out with the guys...that's fine, b/c its true!!!!! So he is not really playing a game with you, but you get the good effects that playing a game would give you!!! I think that is perfectly, as for playing games on purpose, like if a guy says he has something to do friday night but he doesn't really, he just wants you to want him...thats not cool, b/c you get the good effects of playing the game, but then he ends up not having a life and he's not the guy you thought he was etc. etc. and it goes downhill from there.
bluestar bluestar 9 years
Back off, Clarby's mine! LOL, I kid, I kid.
HayleyStark HayleyStark 9 years
I agree that they shouldn't try to hard or else they seem desparate and that's a turn off. Clarby, wanna go on a date??
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
so basically its just the classic "playing hard to get" i think all men are attracted to women who r hard to get, i wasnt aware that the same dynamic does it for women too. speaking for myself of course, i like to be pursued, not in a creepy stalker-ish way, but just as raeelrobot said, i'd think hes just not that interested.
sourcherry sourcherry 9 years
I just don't have patience for games! If he's ignoring me, I just assume he's not that interested and move on... So, bad strategy :P
DearSugar DearSugar 9 years
Clarby, Yes, men are more than welcome and you have nothing to be nervous about... your comments are great!!
lovelie lovelie 9 years
Ha geebers- that is one of my fav reads too. Simply, if you really take into consideration what the author is telling you, you can skip all of the BS and move on to someone better. I'm sure everyone has heard that sara b "love song" at least A THOUSAND times on the radio, but one time I actually listened to what the lyrics were saying.. "if your heart is no where in it I don't want it for a minute I'll walk the seven seas when I believe there is a reason to write you a love song" - words to live by.
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 9 years
Here's my advice, stay off That is a lame ass website that will just piss you off and make you paranoid. And thats exactly what its there for. Boycott it.
geebers geebers 9 years
Welcome Clarby! Good to have a male on here. :) I think "He just's not that into you" is one of my favorite books on relationships because it hits the nail on the head. And this advice up there- just screams- He is just not that into you. If some guy was playing this game, Id probably move on thinking that. Sad that some guy is advocating this nonsense.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Well, that strategy wouldn't work on me. I can spot a game-player a mile away, and it's a turn-off. I date men, not game-playing boys. Men know who they want, and they enjoy getting who they want, not gaming them. Men don't have false pretenses.
raeleerobot raeleerobot 9 years
Honestly, I'd feel like he just wasn't interested.
almost-famous almost-famous 9 years
I laugh off sites dedicated to men and coaching them on how-to-get-laid I doubt these men are taking it serious enough to actually do it.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 9 years
Thanks Clarby! I hope the break-up is for the better as well. Since it just happened last night, still hurts...So not a fan of break ups...
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