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This or That: Tons of So-So Friends or One Best Friend?

Over the past year, you've been really busy with work, a ton of family drama, and your new relationship. Now that the dust has finally settled and you’re starting to get back to your stress-free life, you feel a great sense of ease. But that momentary relief turns to disappointment when you try to get together with your old friends. Would it be worse to realize that you …

This: Have dozens of friends you can call up, but not one of them is the type of friend that you can actually talk to? You never had time to develop any deep friendships, so now all you have is a bunch of glorified acquaintances.

Or …

That: Only have one close friend? All your other friendships managed to disappear over time. Having one friend is better than none, but you wish you had someone else to talk to.

Which is worse?


Join The Conversation
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
Wow...I'm surprised more people chose quantity over quality. How sad...I have ONE best friend right now, and he's my boyfriend. I'm content with my situation because I don't like telling the same story to multiple people, anyway. I only need one confidant to be truly satisfied.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
I went from the ideal situation in college (a combo of this and that!) to having a ton of friends I wasn't close to (after moving to a new city) to moving again and having like, one close friend. I have to admit, it's easier to adjust to a new place by having a ton of friends you aren't necessarily close to because you will still have plans every night. Even though I've always been a quality over quantity person, I feel so isolated here only having one or two close friends, if they are busy I end up sitting home alone on a Friday night in my pj's wishing I'd sprung for's sad. I love my besties, but I also miss having a nice social life!
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
I kinda feel like I'm in the "this" situation. =\
ayuninur ayuninur 9 years
I'm in the "that" situation..
emalove emalove 9 years
I'd much rather have one best friend than a bunch of half-a** friends.
bransugar79 bransugar79 9 years
I have always been a person with a few close friends as opposed to a bunch of friends I only hang out with. It works for me. I'm much more of a one on one girl anyway. I think that is just my personality because i never dated a bunch of people either and I tend to be the kind of person who either likes a person or doesn't like them I don't have to many in between feelings
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
I'd rather one best friend than a bunch of so so friends I can't talk to. Being around people like that can feel a lot like being alone...
LizL LizL 9 years
I prefer quality over quantity...but that's not what I have. I would prefer a best friend over some quality friends...I don't think I have had that yet....but have always wanted it.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I'd rather have one really great friend than tons of friends who don't really care about me. It's less work to keep in touch with one person when you get busy too and your BFF would understand and try to help you out.
RawesomeRio RawesomeRio 9 years
I've had both and found that having one best friend is the best of the two options for me. Being in college, I have been able to easily build that social group where we don't really talk about anything but rather, we party, shop, and drink our problems away. A superficial friendship. After having broken up from a serious relationship, those friendships became even more detrimental to me because I felt more alone than I ever had. Now I'm learning to value the good friends I have in my life regardless of how often we see each other or how often we speak. True friends don't let the distance, emotional or physical, change anything. Plus there's something comforting knowing that it is possible to have a stable support system.
juicylove juicylove 9 years
i would MUCH rather have one friend that i could have fun with and still fully trust and who is always there for me, rahter than a bunch of people who can also be fun but arent really there for the things you need "real" friends for.
julieulie julieulie 9 years
You know what though, as much as it sucks having only so-so friends, if you know lots of people, that gives you the opportunity to make great, lasting friendships. I think it's a lot harder to meet people than it is to become very friendly -- for long term, I'd absolutely take one best friend, but in this particular situation, I'd welcome the opportunity to MAKE new best friends. I hate when people wind up with one friend and don't feel the need to make any effort to know anyone else because they have the one friend... and then the one friend leaves and they fall apart. The more the merrier!
kiwitwist kiwitwist 9 years
Whoops I answered wrong... I said That for what I would want. Should have answered THIS.
livilou livilou 9 years
Ive had the same best friend since elemntary school and Im in college. Ive had a lot of pretty good friends in between, but you cant beat having a best friend who really knows and loves you only for who you are.
bengalspice bengalspice 9 years
I'm in the "that" situation. I have one really great friend ... who happens to live in another city. We always pick up where we left off, and it's great to talk to her. But all the other people I knew from college that are actually here in the same city with me have disappeared and gone on to do their own thing. I wish I could connect with them more than feel like there's only going to be one friend worth inviting if I get married.
CoconutPie CoconutPie 9 years
I have one best friend and a few so-so friends and I'm happy with that. And I have my husband of course, my real best friend.
skigurl skigurl 9 years
this situation is hard...after graduation i realized that my 4 best friends all live in completely different cities around the country, away from me and away from each other so we each feel the same way: in our respective cities we have "friends" but no one who we are as close with as each other and no one we really click with in the same way....
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I'd rather have one close friend.
almost-famous almost-famous 9 years
I was just thinking about this on the other post DEAR.. Hmmm... having so-so friends, you really don't know how the feel about you and you can't really confide into them. Having one friend is a good thing..,but not all the time. If you wanted to hang with her, she'd have something else to do. There will be times where you guys can't really catch up with each other...boyfriends,husbands,family and work wise... So I choose... the so-so friends.
vmruby vmruby 9 years
This-You have a bunch of friends but no one to call your best friend. I would rather have one BFF than a group of friends that are so-so.
TidalWave TidalWave 9 years
Quality over Quantity as well! But I balance out both. I have "out" friends here, who are friends I go out with, eat dinner with, etc but aren't super close to. Then I have my "grew up with" friends that I see a few times throughout the year but we still can have three hour long phone conversations about very important topics; and these are the friends who make me feel better when i'm down.
Shopaholichunny Shopaholichunny 9 years
Quality over Quantity! I have 7 really close girlfriends and they are all I need.
Greentea1203 Greentea1203 9 years
I have one best friend, not including my sister, and that's enough for me. I'd rather have one person that will be there for me whenever I need them, and vice versa, than a bunch of people that you can't depend on.
clareberrys clareberrys 9 years
Honestly, I'm sort of in the "this" situation right now at school. I have my best girlfriends at home, but here I only have a bunch of friends that are not to deep. I miss having a best friend to get together with whenever.
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