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Tough Question No. 4: When Are You Going to Start a Family?

Is it just me or do most parents crave grandchildren? If you're married or at a point in your life where a baby makes sense, chances are your family will start prying this Thanksgiving. Having kids is a very personal decision, but loved ones certainly know how to lay on the pressure, so check out my tips on how to answer tough question number four! Click here to


  • If you're not ready to be with child, the state of our economy is a great excuse. Tell your inquisitive family members that you're waiting until things get more stable before trying.
  • If kids are in your future, reassure them that you're going to start a family eventually, but you want to enjoy the freedom of being childless for a little longer — they've got to understand that!
  • If you're actively trying but have yet to conceive, don't let them in on your secret because they'll just continue to ask the same question until they get the answer they're looking for. Dodge it completely and tell them you're thinking about trying in the next year — that will buy you some time.
  • If you're newly pregnant but not ready to tell anyone yet, get ready to deliver an Oscar-worthy performance!

For those of you who've had to answer this question before, what route worked best for you?


Join The Conversation
eightieslingo eightieslingo 8 years
I'm the oldest grandkid and also the only one who is married, so everyone is assuming that I'll have kids first. I always say I'll have kids when I finish college and work for at least two years. That's going to be my excuse for at least the next three years. It makes me so uncomfortable when people ask me this question! I think it's my mom's goal to be a grandma before she's 50.
lilwildone1202 lilwildone1202 8 years
actually--my parents and my hubbys parents are like 'please dont have kids for a while' haha. i dont think either of them are a) ready to be a grandparents and b) think we're ready to be parents the only one who asks questions like that is my grandfather cause he wants to be a great-grandparent and im his only grandchild whos married haha
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
my man and i are at the point where we would love to start a family ASAP. we're actually doing what we need to right now to have kids sooner rather than later.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
"When are you going to start making more babies to ask these questions to?"
Mykie7 Mykie7 8 years
geebers, you are a lovely person. As an adopted child, I am grateful that there are people out there like you!
geebers geebers 8 years
(Oh and I don't really meant that ha! I like kids and I don't think getting fat should be a reason to not have them but I just have zero desire to give birth to my own when there are so many children out there that need parents and don't have them).
geebers geebers 8 years
I told my parents I don't want to have kids because I don't want to ruin my body -the looks on their faces was priceless. IF I choose to have children then I will most likely adopt anyway - but I think the best response just for fun is something totally awful like "I hate kids." or "I refuse to get fat!"
Shadowdamage Shadowdamage 8 years
:hug: for Mykie :D
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
how about "remind me again how the whole baby making thing works, would you? you had a couple of kids, what was the secret?"
ufshutterbabe ufshutterbabe 8 years
I laughed when I read this, because my first thought was something smart-ass along the lines of "oh, we'll probably get started on that right after everyone leaves from Thanksgiving dinner." Then I remembered that my husband was conceived after a Thanksgiving dinner. We know this because every year on Thanksgiving his mom calls to sing "happy birthday" and remind him of the circumstances that brought him into existence. It is one of the few things in life that actually makes him blush. I think it is hilarious.
javsmav javsmav 8 years
My family has never asked--I think it's because they know I'd be a horrible mother.
CreateMagic CreateMagic 8 years
Both my mom and Gramma love to hint that "they're not getting any younger"...thing is, I'm 25 and single. Its funnier that they are 43 and 65, respectively...I'm pretty sure they have plenty of time to enjoy grands and greats!!! hahaha
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
Eventually does sound good.:D
Blackwidowchick Blackwidowchick 8 years
I'm one of the people who don't want kids and neither does my husband. But everytime we try explaining this to friends and family, they laugh and say that we secretly do and all this bs. My husband and I are 25, and we would rather spend money traveling, but it seems like all of our friends are trying to make us change our minds. These are the people who had kids at a young age and never left the state. I sometimes think they are jealous of us being able to buy whatever we want, and how often we go out of town. Oh well, I guess that is their problem.
Mykie7 Mykie7 8 years
LMAO Shadow, I like you more every post I read. hehehehe
Shadowdamage Shadowdamage 8 years
Thinking about it, everyone I have known for any amount of time gave up bugging me about it a LONG time ago. Personally if I am asked such a question now I think I would say something like "Well..I thought about having kids but ultimately I think I might freak out and eat them or something. You know, like spiders." I think that'll shut them up. :)
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i hate this question too. why do people care if i have a baby? will they be taking care of the child? will they wake up in the middle of the night? will they feed and change and bathe the baby? NO! then leave me alone. when im ready to do that sh*t i'll do it. ur nagging doesnt help.
queenlizzie queenlizzie 8 years
I like that word, "eventually." I'll be using that one this season!
sugar_me_sweet sugar_me_sweet 8 years
I remembered last year, I was getting the "when are you getting married?" question alot. Now that I got engaged and when i get married, im probably definitely getting the "when are you going to have children?". and the battle never ends...
bbkf bbkf 8 years
I get asked this at least once a day, so the holidays won't be any different. I can only say "never" so many ways: I never want kids. I want kids never. Never is the time that I'm going to want kids. :sigh:
Mykie7 Mykie7 8 years
This question used to irritate me SO MUCH that when asked my response would be "I don't know, when do you plan to take a c**p next?"
356UIK 356UIK 8 years
I think this is a rude question too. So many people CANT have them that it just seems rude to meddle.
karlotta karlotta 8 years
The other day, my mom told me that I should get going on the kid thing or they may have down syndrome - LOL. She had my brother when she was 36, and he turned out a total genius, so I'm not freaking out just yet. Only means I have 5 more years to wait if I want to have a kid with a 185 IQ.
hanako66 hanako66 8 years
I HATE this question...I have been married for 7 years and the heat is really on this year...drives me bonkers
meechie meechie 8 years
When we are ready I would like to be married first however a stable loving relationship is more important than a tittle.
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