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Tough Question No. 5: Have You Lost/Gained Some Weight?

Weight is one of those topics that makes almost everyone feel uncomfortable. Calling out a person's weight gain or loss not only puts them on the spot, but it can easily do a number on their self-esteem. If Thanksgiving is the holiday that brings your family together, chances are you'll be seeing some relatives you haven't seen for a while, so if they comment on your weight, here are some ways to hold your own.

To see my responses for tough question number five,


  • Looks are an easy thing to zero in on if you haven't seen someone in a long time, and most people tend to comment on weight. If it's not something you want to discuss, acknowledge their comments and quickly move the conversation along.
  • Weight fluctuation has a lot to do with diet and exercise, but personal issues can be another trigger. If someone comments on your noticeable weight loss, be short and say something like, "Yes, I guess I have lost a few pounds. It's been a very stressful Fall but I'm really looking forward to a great Thanksgiving dinner!" If you leave it at that, they shouldn't fish for any more details.
  • If you've admittedly gained a few pounds — 'tis the season! — and a relative approaches you about it, address it in a cheeky manner. Say something like, "Yes, I've been slacking a little, but now there's just more of me to love!" or "I'm embracing the holidays, Aunt Jessie — by Easter I'll be as slender as can be!"
  • If you've struggled with your weight, but you're finally where you want to be, take the compliments you're given this Thanksgiving. If you've worked hard to get back into your skinny jeans, be proud of yourself; reaching your goal weight is no small feat!

Have any of you had to face weight questions like this? If so, how did you handle it?


Join The Conversation
Smacks83 Smacks83 8 years
I hate hearing "You got really fat!" (yep, no tact here folks) and my worse is "You used to be so pretty, what happened?" Yep because apparently fat equals ugly and the "pretty" they refer to is back when I had a major eating disorder and I was skinny, my hair was begining to fall out and I looked bruised around my eyes. Yeah, thats hot.
thelorax thelorax 8 years
UGH lawchick what a gross comment for him to make!! I field rude comments about my weight all the time. I've always been thin; it runs in my family. And by thin, I mean that I'm built like Popeye's GF Olive Oyle. It was fabulous back when I was a dancer, but after graduating from college there really isn't room for that in my life it's like I no longer have an "excuse" to look the way I do. I wear clothes that I know visually add a few pounds when I'm going to be around my family...especially my in-laws or my grandmother!
DevonJade DevonJade 8 years
I'm quite thin and it irks me when people tell me I'm too skinny. I work to be fit and healthy and I love my body. It is the worst when they are relatives because you can't be mean! I fend off the relations with the age old "I'm the same size as always." and then change the subject. Beware those who are not family though, if they comment they will get an icy cold "Back off." My body is entirely my business, not theirs. I've struggled with an eating disorder since I was nine and now that I am at a healthy place that I am happy with I don't appreciate people knocking it.
Kelly-O Kelly-O 8 years
No one really says anything to me anymore (thank goodness I don't have to see my former in-laws!) but it's hard in my own head. My stepsisters are both very thin, and I am very not. Their mom is super-skinny though, and I've just never ever been naturally thin. It's mainly the dialogue in my own head that is hard to deal with.
LaurenG22 LaurenG22 8 years
This is the first HOliday season where I am a normal weight. I am excited to see what will happen bc usually i have to deal with a bunch of "awww you are so thin" crap.
cdelaney cdelaney 8 years
I am petite - only 5'1" and 100 lbs and my weight doesn't fluctuate. Even still, I am always asked if I'm eating enough or if I'm skipping meals. My mom is always asking "Are you sure you don't want more food?" It has gotten really old, but it seems to be routine for holiday time. I am naturally small, and it is tiring having to respond to the same questions every holiday season.
Witchy-Ways Witchy-Ways 8 years
I ALWAYS just want to answer weight-related questions with a simple "Of course I lost weight, I don't stuff my face with crap like you all do" but that's pretty rude too, just like asking about weight fluctuations. Seriously though, it's not bloody magic, it's hard work.
If my family was like some of the grandmothers mentioned above, they would never see me for holidays, or any other event. I prefer to not see my family than to feel terrible about my self when i do see them.
When I started my new job, I dropped 15 pounds in 4 months. But, now that I no longer stress about going to work everyday, I've gotten my appetite back, and put back on 10 pounds. I try to walk about 6-7 miles a week, but with it being cold, the dam is a little bit cold to walk across in the a.m.
fancifulfabi fancifulfabi 8 years
UGH. I have this aunt who I see every Thanksgiving and she is obsessed with thinness. Usually she always praises me for being slender, but one time a couple years ago she said that I had put on a little weight. I was only 103 lbs, but at the time my overly weight-sensitive, borderline eating-disorder self was so hurt by the comment that I literally couldn't speak for a few minutes and I had to bite down on my lip not to cry in front of everybody. Thankfully I've gotten over those issues from long ago, and I could care less whether my aunt praises or criticizes me this year because I happen to love my figure (and so does my boyfriend coincidentally) so there! :)
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
I don't see the point...they're always going to ask some annoying question or comment...are you married? Are you pregnant? You look fat, you look thin, you look stressed, you look tired, where do you work? What did you get in school? What kinda car you got? Blah blah blah, at this point I find myself taking a bathroom break (I don't really have to pee, it's an escape).
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i HATE when people comment about my weight since i've had a history of eating disorders, and now i'm getting to a more healthy and good place in my life. if i'm called out on looking healthier then in some bad way i take it to mean fat, and then i'm a mess for the rest of the night. i try to keep myself out of those situations so no one can comment on me.
skiwi skiwi 8 years
In Korea, and for many other asian cultures, relatives ALWAYS talk about weight. I'm only 18 and every time I see relatives I haven't seen in a while, they comment on how much weight I gained/lost. Its always the first topic of conversation!
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 8 years
365UIK your av is so adorable! Anyway I think I might get some questions this year. I'm in the process of buying a house and moving and I'm very stressed. I lose weight under stress and this is no exception. Most of the people who I am seeing over the holidays will have last seen me about 10 pounds heavier. I look a little gaunt at the moment - it's not a look that I'm psyched about.
brown_eyed_grrl brown_eyed_grrl 8 years
@Bitte Ein Kuss--Re: Grandparents--My grandfather told my cousin that she was too pretty to let herself gain weight. The girl was maybe a size 6 at the time. She used to be a 2, but she also used to do drugs. She quit with the hard stuff, went to college, and put on a little weight. Was not too heavy by any stretch of the imagination. Only wish I had been there when he said that. @FoxyJo--I relate! I also gained the weight in college, took about three years to figure out how to lose it, and I'm also the youngest in my office. I, too, have some anxiety about weight. When I gain five pounds, I freak out a little. I think I'm scared I'll gain back the weight and feel unhappy again, which is silly because I've kept up my lifestyle for over two years now, and I truly enjoy veggies and working out, but it's still there in the back of my mind.
356UIK 356UIK 8 years
Being that I just lot a bit of weight, I already know I'm gonna get this one cos I've been getting it a lot at work. I just say "Not that I know of...?"
indielove indielove 8 years
Lost weight recently. Just been exercising more regularly and have been eating healthier, it's just a lifestyle change. I don't really have weight fluctuation issues. I'm good at maintaining it.
ikimashokie ikimashokie 8 years
Augh! I hate it! I'm fairly certain that there are certain issues that I am more susceptible to, and have been dealing with those along with the weight loss. It does not make me happy to be praised because of that.
bastylefilegirl bastylefilegirl 8 years
I don't get a comment I just get more food on my plate than anyone else a round about way to try and fatten me up so I can make babies ahahahaha!
bastylefilegirl bastylefilegirl 8 years
LOL I think this is my favorite question probably because I'm never ever ever asked it ( I'm pretty fit and have always been that way). I can hear and see my grandmother now though sitting at the head of the table as people walk in the house ( BTW this is everyday not just holidays ) and asking them " you looking a little big ain't ya" or out right saying " your getting fat" but in the same breath fixing them a huge plate of food and then sending them off with leftovers aahahhaah.
lawchick lawchick 8 years
I have always been thin, but about 10 years ago weighed maybe 5 pounds more than I do now, then lost 10 pounds. 10 pounds is a significant fluctuation on a 5 foot frame. My ex-boyf's father said "what happened to your T and A?" UGH!
myystque myystque 8 years
My family always gets worried if I lose weight and will ask if I've been eating.
pink-elephant pink-elephant 8 years
God I loathe this question, I will get both at the same family gathering! One relative will ask if I've gained weight and another person will tell me I'm not eating enough!! "Oh you youngsters and you're metabolism!"
lauraxtc lauraxtc 8 years
When I was living with my ex I gained like 30 pounds. So last year during the holidays they told me I had gotten thicker. lol. I wasn't mad, but I did feel insecure and that did motivated to get a membership at the gym. Plus after my 6 year break up I lost even more weight. So this year I have lost like 30 pounds. and loosing. My family will be stoked.
FoxyJo FoxyJo 8 years
Brown-eyed-grrl I'm right there with you! I am one of the youngest girls at my job and all the older ladies say "You're so fit" "I wish I were your age again" but I too work my booty off at the gym every week! I used to be heavier (gained 20lbs in college) and it took me 3yrs to get to the size I am now. I just hope I continue this lifestyle forever! My weight is by far the topic I am most self conscience about :( When I gained weight no one really said anything to me. But after I lost it that's when all the comments that were being said behind my back came out. I was so angry. But, I just told myself to get over it and not let them rain on my parade. People will ALWAYS have something to say. Now, I even get the "OMG your soo skinny now" comment. It's all just annoying! Some have even asked me if I have a problem! No, I eat!! Jeeze! ;) Bluepuppybites- Aren't grandparents funny like that?! Never afraid to be blunt!! Your "slapping" comment made me LOL!
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