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True Confession — I Don't Want Him to Leave His Wife

True Confession — I Don't Want Him to Leave His Wife

I know how much you all love our Sunday Confessional, so my friend at True Confessions is joining forces with me to bring you a midweek confessional! Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive the confessional below.

"My office crush and I have taken things to the next level — we're going away together for a few days. My confession is that, unlike so many affairs I know of, I desperately don't want him to leave his wife for me. As long as we both have spouses we are coming home to, there is no pressure to have this be anything other than fun and games."

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RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
You're messing with someone else's husband, what is there to misinterpret about that?
DanaW DanaW 9 years
I am the original poster. I posted this on the True Hookup Confessions site, not as a question to Dear Sugar, which has a bearing on the context. This post was a response to many of the THC posts in which women were lamenting that they wanted their boyfriends to leave their wives. My post was just that I did NOT want the marriages to break up, in contrast to the majority of the posts during the course of that day. I posted it in an area in which many of the other posters were in similar situations and were of a like mind regarding flings/friends with benefits/etc. I haven't asked for approval or forgiveness from any of the commenters, and wonder why so many of you assume that you know what is going on in my head. Despite what some commenters have said, I have not disparaged my friend's wife, and I am not bragging about having an affair that she and my husband don't know about. I posted on THC in response to a number of posts about a similar topic, and that post was transferred to this site as a "forgive or don't forgive" question, which was not the intent of the original post. Whether anyone agrees or does not agree with my decisions, I just wanted to correct some of the misinterpretations of my post.
miekavolcom69 miekavolcom69 9 years
watch The Last Kiss. this movie got me out of a similar situation. the difference was that i am really deeply inlove with the guy.end it sweety.... you need to find in yourself why you are doing this.one thing we can all promise you is that it is not just for the sex. if it were just for the sex, you'd be out getting a vibrator. you need to talk to your husband. you dont want to turn 60 and have your 35th wedding anniversary and have this hanging over your head.just watch the movie. and i dont condem you. people make mistakes. good luck. i hope that through this experiance you grow in moral and integrity, and become the better person you know you are.
InfernalMari InfernalMari 9 years
Wow, holy cow. Like *none* of the people who commented above never cheated. Granted, they might have cheated on a boyfriend, like I did, which is an entirely different kettle of beans. You know you're hurting three people in his, in the long run, your career will take a dent should this be discovered...You know all of this. I *sort* of admire you for not being foolish enough to believe that he'd leave her for you, and if there are kids on his side, I believe there is some merit in being practical. Remember, posters, THIS MAN WOULD CHEAT ON HIS WIFE ANYWAY. On the whole, though, I think you should speak to your husband and try to fix things up. I choose forgive, but if you can get the good hot boning you need from the man you married, wouldn't that be best?
lexibaby lexibaby 9 years
I would like to know how you sleep at night.
gummybears123 gummybears123 9 years
i feel bad for the spouses. i'm not one to judge but when you get married you're supposed to be committed to only that one person. Also I'm not sure what you want forgiveness for. You don't seem to be sorry that you're having an affair, which is what you SHOULD ask forgiveness for.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
If both of your spouses know of and approve of having an open marriage/relationship, I think whether or not you guys stay committed to other people is fine. If you guys are destroying the trust of two or more people that love you, respect you and are faithful, then I say you two are in the wrong. I understand monogamy is not everyone's thing, but if you can't allow your partners the opportunity to have some extra fun on the side like you and your office crush, then you guys are just being unfair and immature. You can't have the cake and eat it, too.
mrskrismendoza mrskrismendoza 9 years
How could someone cause this much pain to an innocent person? Or people? You really disgust me.
cottonpoots cottonpoots 9 years
"Why is sexual fidelity so important to all of you? Isn't there a lot more to a relationship than that?" Marseeah, there are many contributing factors to maintaining a healthy and long-lasting relationship; trust and fidelity just happen to be the two factors that contribute in keeping you and your significant other satisfied. Besides, relationships aren't about sleeping around with people and coming home to your original lover, it's about monogamy. Anywho, I agree with rosey_y, calling the woman a whore isn't going to solve anything.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
i don't see the point in the post. i think she just wanted to say; "Oh my gawd. I'm sooo married and i get to bang this hot guy at work. and it's all sexy and stuff because NO ONE knows about it. and my husband is soo stupid. and my lover's wife is a fat cow, and oh my gawd. the sex is PHENOMENAL. and he likes bangin' me soo much, he's taking me on a little get away. and oh my gawd . . ." that sh*t ain't cute. so stop going around telling folks.
cvandoorn cvandoorn 9 years
You are really selfish...do you realize that you're hurting two people here? Just for your pleasure? Grow up! NOT FORGIVE.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
is this about the thrills for you? going away for the weekend takes it to the next level in the risk of getting caught dept too. seems like maybe you do want something more from this. not forgive because you think it's okay to cheat on your family and the damage that will do to them. selfish.
Liss1 Liss1 9 years
You are gross! Does anyone believe in marriage vows anymore? How would you like it if some one was sleeping with your husband? You are ruining some one elses marriage and your own. I hope your husband finds out and divorces your skany ass. Sorry i know this is a real person but they deserve it. If you didn't want to have sex with one person for the rest of your life then DON'T get married! Geez, people make me sick!
jaxon jaxon 9 years
This really isnt a forgive or not question. So I picked nothing It just a confession from another website Bad choice but thanks for the effort. They are both scumbags who are cheating on their spouses so now what....
kurniakasih kurniakasih 9 years
I think it's forgivable as long as you let your husband sleep with his wife :D Or any woman he wants! How about just having an OPEN marriage with your husband and he with his wife? BE FAIR, if he got this one free ride w/ you, the least you can do is ask your husband to service his wife, right? Spouse Swap!!! :lol: Always be sexually protected, by the way, I hate the thought of you guys spreading STI to each other's spouses. Anyway, I :love: Asia's comment as usual :D If I were in that co-worker's wife position...ahh...I have so much repressed anger in me, my spouse will suffer the consequences :lol: P.S. Like Asia said, things LEAK, and if you don't get caught now, you'll get caught later and good luck with that. I just hope I don't have to watch y'all on some People's Court...but wait, maybe I hope so too, it's good entertainment.
Advah Advah 9 years
I really don't see the point of this post. From what you say you obviously know that what you're doing is bad (in respect to his wife and your husband, providing they're not cheating on you guys, too) yet are not interested in ending the affair. And chances are you know that people here won't encourage someone who says she's having an affair. So, do you actually want to know what people think? I don't understand how you can ask for 'forgiveness' since the post is not about the person saying she's doing something wrong; shouldn't this be a 'DearSugar needs your help' post, about whether she should end the affair or talk to him to keep it an affair for instance?
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
oh, we're suppose to forgive or not forgive? opps. my bad. well in that case. I don't care what you do. but if you mess with my man (or a close friend's), be looking for a Mercedes coming towards you at about 70, maybe 80 MPH. or do you prefer a hammer??? i mean, maint. is already crazy for a Benz, and i don't wanna have to explain the big dent in my car . . .you understand, right?
isahrangme isahrangme 9 years
NOT FORGIVE! Jeez! Not forgive for not wanting him to leave his wife. NOT FORGIVE for having an affair in the first place! I'd hate to be your husband.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
What in the Wide World of Crack Wh*res are you talking about?! LMAO. i have never heard someone sound so ridiculous. damn, i understand that sh*t happens (i DO NOT approve of cheating), but you're suppose to ATLEAST pretend to feel guilty about it! LMAO. let me just say, that you're gonna get caught. office relationships always leak, some way, some how. and it's one thing to say you're working late when you're really at the H*-House (the motel), but to take mini-f*ck-fest vacations?!?!? next thing you know, you'll be on here talking about how you got knocked up by him, and you husband doesn't trust you anymore. by the way . . .have you heard of this place called Hell. i heard it is hot as . . . well you've heard that one.
rosey_y rosey_y 9 years
I've been cheated on before Sun_Sun. I never called the woman "wh*re wh*re wh*re" or anything like it. Being hurt doesn't justify stooping that low in my book. Besides, this woman's situation has NOTHING to do with you or I personally. So it's not the same as asking what *I'd* do if my husband cheated on me. Some people just love to jump at the first chance to judge and belittle others. Especially from the safety of their keyboards. I think this woman gets the message that the majority don't approve. No need to call her horrible names to communicate your thoughts - most of the other posters managed it just fine. Backing up what you say with rational arguments gets a point across better than semi-coherent insults. I usually just skip posts like that anyway.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 9 years
rosey....if this woman was sleeping with ur husband, what would ur sentiments be??? i wonder?
Marseeah Marseeah 9 years
Why is sexual fidelity so important to all of you? Isn't there a lot more to a relationship than that?
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Totally a way of patting herself on the back as a way to ease the guilt.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 9 years
Not forgive, not because you don't want him to leave his wife, but because you're hurting your spouse every time that you do it. I feel really sorry for your husband.
TheJadedMball TheJadedMball 9 years
What the hell? Are you seriously even asking this question? You tell us this story like you two are doing absolutely nothing wrong..."Fun and Games"!?! If you weren't done having these 'fun and games' you shouldn't even be married!
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