Skip Nav
10 Seriously Hot Romances Not For the Faint of Heart
The Maid of Honor and Best Man Met at a Friend's Wedding, and Now They're Married
These 30 Disney Princess Tattoos Are the Fairest of Them All

True Confession — I Keep Their Secrets

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I have some pretty strange friendships with the married men in my circle of friends. They tell me all about their affairs but I don't say anything to their wives. Am I as much at fault here?"


Join The Conversation
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
well it depends on whom ure closer friends with. sounds like ure closer with the guys. but if u are close with the wives, then its wrong for u to keep them in the dark. because when they finally find out that u knew all a long, it would make u a really bad person. but if the women arent that close with u, then u really shouldnt say anything. but like marni said, if its making u uncomfortable, u should ask them to stop telling u all this stuff because u dont support it. but it all really depends on whom ure closer friends with.
lexichloe lexichloe 8 years
My wonder is...Why do they divulge these secrets to YOU? Do you have some undercover relationship w/ them that you keep secret as well? If you're that close w/ the husbands, why aren't you that close w/ their wives?
looseseal looseseal 8 years
You're lowering yourself to the same level as them if you agree with their behavior and/or encourage it in some way. If this is an ongoing thing people continue to do... they probably think you agree with them, whether you do or not. And be aware that, if this is ongoing, there's a chance this would turn into an emotional affair. It's also possible they're trying to pick you up to be their other-other woman. It's perfectly understandable if you don't want to get involved. But don't continue to be a confessional for these people and then be all like "Ooh, but I never wanted to get involved!" That's pretty questionable.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 8 years
its not your fault~ forgive
totygoliguez totygoliguez 8 years
I don't think is your place to tell, is their business, not yours what I do is that I tell my friend don't tell me secrets, that way I don't feel bad about the things I know and I can't tell.
corcar86 corcar86 8 years
I tend to gravitate towards the men in the group more then the women however i agree with others who mentioned it kinda matters who you consider yourself closer to (or who you were friends with first). I guess it also is different if you are married but I have had lots of friends who have girlfriends I barely know and while I let them know I do not approve of their cheating there is no way I would tell their girl that it happened. So I may have been hasty to say not forgive because the truth is it is just a really crappy situation for you to be the confidant in that respect. You are not the bad guy though and it shouldn't fall back on you to be responsible for breaking the news. If it makes you uncomfortable for them to tell you these things then just kindly tell them so, if you like being included in their confidences then I say who is to blame you! Though also consider how you would feel in the reverse, if you feel it is a situation where you must tell the girl for any reason don't feel guilty for doing that either
otaku otaku 8 years
it's not about forgiving or not. it's about the fact that the OP needs to work out WHY she knows all these things. it sounds like she wold talk to these men to make herself feel good and special like she has one up on every woman around her. eh, anyway... not forgive, by the way. i think it's selfish and childish. if one of my "friends" was like that with my husband, i'd not have her as a friend anymore.
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 8 years
Forgive because I don't think you're necessarily at fault for this... however you must feel incredibly guilty at times holding this all inside... I wouldn't want to be in your position thats for sure
sugarbritches sugarbritches 8 years
I'm undecided because I would like to know if you're condoning these indiscretions when they are confessing them to you. I would think not or they wouldn't continue to confide in you. I can understand you wanting to steer clear of the drama of revealing a cheating spouse, but if they tell you about it, they need to hear that they are wrong for it. End the marriage if necessary, but don't cheat.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 8 years
Im undecided on whether or not thats forgivable, but I would definatly tell them to stop talking to me about it. Rox-these guys obviously lost respect for the relationship when they first started cheating on their wives, so them confiding to her is small potatoes by comparison. Not saying I disagree with you, just wanted to point that out
talanted08 talanted08 8 years
I couldn't see my self being part of a group and then all of a sudden someone told that I was the one keeping in some information. It's good to know but I would rather here it from the female than the male. Being in this situation only makes it worse on you than the couple b/c you could lose all your friendships just by lending a shoulder!
roxtarchic roxtarchic 8 years
sun-sun.... i agree w/you wholeheartedly... and all of my friends know my views... and they would NEVER admit to me something of this nature because they know i would rip them apart over it... i also think that there's nothing wrong w/having married men as friends, until they are confiding things to you that they wouldnt tell their wives... that crosses a line to me. it's disrespectful to the relationship and to the wife (even if you werent friends w/her first you should respect her as she married your friend). then again i'm married and would tear any woman to shreds that my husband was confiding in, after of course i rearranged his life w/my bare hands....
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i have such a strong opinion about cheating and cheaters. in my opinion, its just one of the filthiest thing a person can do. and i think it says something about their character, not a good thing! i would have trouble befriending cheaters. if i was told about cheating..i would reprimand him and tell him i never wanna hear about it again. and i'd probably be too pissed at his dirtiness to hang out with him again. but thats just me.
leenie leenie 8 years
You're not at fault, but why let them tell you about that stuff? I wouldn't want any part of it.
austerity austerity 8 years
It's not your fault that they're talking to you, however, I do think it would be good of you to ask them to at least stop talking about their affairs, to save your conscience and peace of mind.
melizzle melizzle 8 years
Stay out of it and tell them to stop dishing. It puts you in an awkward spot.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
It depends what involvement you have with their wives. Are these guys primarily your friends or are their wives? You should remind them that perhaps they are unhappy in their marriages and should stop acting like cheating scumbags?! What if they got one of these other women pregnant or caught an STD? Then their wives are going to be looking for meat to pull apart for answers! I am in the same position though. My ex boyfriend is cheating on some girl in America (he's in the UK) and she has no idea. I know but it makes me sick.
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
I have a strict rule against having married male friends in the first place so no...I definitely wouldn't be their outlet to bask in the glory of dirty deeds. Who does that to other women? I'd feel guilty if they got an STD and I could have prevented it.
Fallen85 Fallen85 8 years
Forgive, at this point it isnt your place to deal with their relationship but at the same time, I would not allow them to be telling you all about this sh!t when you're friends with their wives.
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
Undecided. While it sucks they are cheating and you know and dont' say anything, it really isn't your place to tell every person and break up every marriage that is around you...I would personally feel hurt if you didn't tell me my hubby was cheating though...
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
No, you're not at fault. Don't get in the middle of that. In my opinion, it's a no-win situation for you. Truthfully, I'm surprised those men disclosed their affairs to you. I would think they would be more discrete than that.
Marni7 Marni7 8 years
I know this shouldnt matter, but who were you friends with first? If this are the married men of your group of best girl friends then you are wrong and you should tell them..if those are your guy friends that happened to be married well then you are kinda just hearing what they are doing, it may not exactly be your place to say anything..with that said, if it makes you uncomfortable you should probably tell them to stop telling you these things
Affordable Gifts For Girlfriends
How to Survive Being Cheated On
How Lemon Water Affects Sex Drive
Movies About Infidelity
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds