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True Confession — I Like Being a Stay-at-Home Mom!

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I hate that I have to defend my decision to be a stay-at-home mom. My friends and family think I just sit around and do nothing all day. They keep asking if I'm going to find another job, but I feel like I have the best job in the world! I have to make excuses to appease them but in turn I'm beginning to resent them. Can my friends and family be forgiven for not supporting my life choice?"


calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
its ure life. being a stay home mommy isnt a crime u know. its good actually. u can watch ure kids while ure husband earns money. but ofcourse, if the money aint enough, u gotta work. else its fine. i dont see if thats anyone elses business
christie christie 9 years
Being a stay at home mom is no easy task. I stayed with my son until just before he turned 5 while still going to school full time (online classes). As a stay at home mom, you're not only a nanny, a cook, a wife/partner, but your whole life is turned upside down by it. It's easy to feel like you are out of place, to yourself and those around you. Your friends are probably just jealous, don't let them beat you down though. You are proud an happy with what you are doing, and your kids are being taken care of. That's what matters.
darkangel2305 darkangel2305 9 years
I would LOVE to be a stay-at-home mom, but only until my child hits school. I think the first few years and very important and quite amazing and I would like to miss any of it. Also day care is expensive and I wouldn't want someone else to do the raising. That being said, I don’t know if I'll be able to afford it or want to give up my career when that moment comes. I understand the moms that must do both... and in my opinion that is way harder than being a SAHM because you do DOUBLE the work in less sleep. On the other hand being a SAHM to babies/toddles is an all-day job – I don’t think there’s much time for soaps there, unless you’re utterly neglecting the child or catching them during nap times (which IS fine, everyone deserves a break). Once the children start school, of course attention and care it's important too, but they have free daycare + education for many hours each day. You can bond with them when you get home from work; help with homework, etc. I just don’t get staying at home when kids go to school (unless they have multiple children of different age groups).... but to each its own.
amber_castaldo amber_castaldo 9 years
Forgive them and ignore them. I am constantly feeling like my choice to be home with my son was wrong. I just ignore them I don't feel like I need to justify what I do. Honestly would they complain if you had chosen to be a bartender or waitress.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
I think that if it's the right choice for you than your family should support you. I don't think it's up to them to judge you or make you feel like you made a bad choice. Your kids will get all the attention that they need and you'll be doing what makes you happy. Just tell your family that you're happy staying home and making sure your kids are well taken care of and that for now that is what you're going to do. If this doesn't ease them up say you'll get a job when your youngest is in school and when that time comes if you still want to be at home keep making the date later. It's totally your choice and they should respect that.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
lickety split- When I said: "i see nothing wrong with being a lazy stay at home mom, I had said this after already commenting on the OP's original question (that her friends and family may be jealous, or that she might be overly sensitive) and I had already stated that I would prefer not to be a stay at home mom, I really like working at might not eve have kids. That being said, we place such a high value on work, and a low value on pleasure. We admire those who work hard their entire life, even through their retirement. Hey, if a family has enough money though to have a relaxing lifestlye, and maybe the mom has housekeeping help, etc, is it really so bad if she enjoys her free time in the afternoon watching some soaps or lounging by the pool? I am of course, assuming that she is a good mother despite any soap opera watching. But really our society just puts so little value into pleasure and relaxation, and I am especially prone to equating career and busy-ness with self-worth. j2, sorry your fiance DID say a seriously stupid thing. Jokes can be stupid. Saying he was joking when he calls working mothers "part time mothers" doesn't really absolve the serious stupidity of that comment. Also, I just hate that whole "stay at home moms would make $100k!" thing. Right, okay, well I chauffeur myself to work, do my laundry, cook my food, just because I don't have kids doesn't mean it isn't work. Stay at home moms work for themselves and their families when they wash the family car just like single people work for themselves when they wash their car. Just having children doesn't automatically make this work more special and worth compensation. Not that stay at home moms don't do a ton of work, I think you'd just have to compare that theoretical value with the value that a single person makes working + doing their own housework and cooking.
AKirstin AKirstin 9 years
I have been a stay at home Mom, I have been employed full time and utilized day care, and currently I stay home during the week with my daughter and work on the weekends. When she goes back to school in the fall, I may or may not work during the week again. Maybe I will stay home all day and do some light laundry and watch some tv. The only opinion on what I do with my time that matters is mine, my husbands and my daughters. There are pros and cons to all choices. Do what makes you happy and what suits your family, and ignore the commentary. Simple.
hausfrau hausfrau 9 years
If you are a lazy person, you are just a lazy person. Being a stay at home mom has nothing to do with it. There are plenty of lazy people who "work". My point is that one has nothing to do with the other. Lazy people will always be lazy and if they are going to be criticized, it should be on that factor alone.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 9 years
Kristinh, exactly. People are so judgemental and jump to conclusions. Just because they see one or even a handful of people do something a certain way they assume everyone in the same situation or "job" does it that way too. Yesterday's discussion really upset me, the idea that people think I'm a lazy person who doesn't pull my weight in life really upset me. But it upsets me too that people are like that about working parents. Why can't people just allow others to live their lives and do what's best for them without passing judgement or giving an unsolicited opinion about what they do?
Kristinh1012 Kristinh1012 9 years
To all the people who think working mothers are Part time mothers you are very ignorant and that is a very rude and stupid comment. AND NO it's not a joke. J2, you do not currently have any children I believe you said. One day when you become a mother, let someone put a label on you that you feel is putting you down when you do your best and work very hard and see how you feel. You will learn one day.....Don't mess with a mother. Also I hope there never comes a day if you have children and then for whatever reason you are forced to work for maybe financial reasons and then lets see how funny you think it is when you are busting your A** every day in and out and your husband calls you a part time mom........
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 9 years
snowbunny, if a lot of us have said "some serioiusly stupid things", at least nobody else but you resorted to name calling. The part time mom thing is a joke. Lighten up.
snowysakurasky snowysakurasky 9 years
im on a paid 1-year leave for my son's first year of life, and i recently have been really wanting to stay home for at least another 6-months after the year. apparently if the mother is with the child for the first 18 months, thats the best thing for the child, and the bond. Honestly, i will be really jealous if someone else gets to watch my child develop and learn while i go to work, let alone if my son gets attached to the care person, so hopefully my man can earn enough to let me stay home for a while! but i am already worrying about peoples reactions to this choice:(
phatE phatE 9 years
meike and anyone else with the daycare issue.. some people can't afford to lose the extra income, especially in the economic situation we're in today..
phatE phatE 9 years
i think my views will most definitely change when i have kids, but i work in a job where i see quite a few stay at home mothers and honestly, it annoys me how entitled they act (aka self absorbed). this is NOT the case for everyone, and who am i to talk right? i guess my point is, i see it through different eyes, and see mom's going on walks at like 8:30 or 9:00, or blogging, shopping, starbucks, whatever all while their children are in day care, or school? i don't get how that's the hardest job ever.. when children are actually AT HOME w/ the stay at home mom, that's different, but what i see on a daily basis is annoying, and not something i want for my own life.. i hope to have something part time, or whatever.
brielleblonde brielleblonde 9 years
i was a nanny for the past three summers to a young boy and it was the easiest job of my life! Maybe it's not the same as being a stay at home mom... but i felt it was a lot easier than many other jobs i have worked.
Meike Meike 9 years
I actually believe a household with one stay-at-home parent is better than a household where both parents work and the children end up in day-care. One person is able to devote more attention and time to their young children who need that incredibly from one parent. You shouldn't have to defend your decision to be a stay-at-home mom the same way I shouldn't have to defend my decision to not want children. I don't believe most women can pull of being both a good mom and career woman especially in the crucial early year's of their child's life. What happens in those earlier years is a foundation for life. If they felt neglected as children, you can imagine how they will probably feel when they grow into neglected teenagers.
LiLRuck44 LiLRuck44 9 years
How about the women who go to work and let someone else raise their children, only to goof around at work half the day and browse the internet? I don't see anyone commenting on them today.
lickety-split lickety-split 9 years
"i see nothing wrong with being a lazy stay at home mom" :rotfl: bahahahaha! obviously! :rotfl: later ladies, i have to go back to watching my hot gardner and pool even hotter boy while i have my pool side mani/pedi. plus the maids are so stupid i have to fire a few of them and my facial made me tired :kiss: if the cook won't type for me after dinner i can't get back on till tomorrow.
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 9 years
LOL to jennifer76 - there's always upsides and downsides so just expect some flack no matter what path you take and don't waste energy bearing grudges
Kimpossible Kimpossible 9 years
Exactly Jennifer76, that was the point I was trying to make but apparently didn't do a very good job of lol...
jennifer76 jennifer76 9 years
Oh come on now. This is getting ridiculous. When did this become a competition!? No, a working mom does not do everything a stay at home mom does PLUS work a full time job. For one thing, there are at least 8 hours a day of supervising, stimulating and caring for children that she does not do. On top of that, one of the things I'm most looking forward to about going back to work is leaving the house blissfully empty 8+ hours a day when no one is messing it up! No, a stay at home mom does not have to figure out how to fit cooking, cleaning and quality kid time in to nights and weekends. She doesn't have to juggle to meet the needs of bosses on top of spouse and children. She doesn't have to...i don't know, do other things that I'm not aware of since I haven't gone back to work yet. The jobs are not equal. They are not the same. That doesn't mean either is inherently harder or better or worth more. These are personal choices. Why don't we all do the things that fulfill US, that meet OUR and OUR families needs and be happy for our fellow women who manage to do the same in their lives REGARDLESS OF WHETHER THEY MAKE DIFFERENT CHOICES THAN US!?!?!??!!? Yeesh.
brielleblonde brielleblonde 9 years
everyone is sayin how a stay-at-home mom's job is sooo hard. but if u ask me, isn't a working mom's job just as hard, since she has to be a mom and work. especially single moms!
emalove emalove 9 years
Honestly, I would love to be a stay-at-home mom.
angelbaby2 angelbaby2 9 years
with the divorce rate over 50 percent, I think that it's brave for a woman to quit her job to stay home and depend on a man. Besides, if someone is out of the work force with no job experience for 5-10 years, and the husband walks, it would be very hard to reenter the job market at the level that you got used to with the hubby. As for the commet of the guy who says, a woman who works is a part time mom-that is a stupid comment. That mom works and raises her kids.
thelorax thelorax 9 years
Being a stay at home mom is an honorable choice! It takes a lot of EXTRA work for both you and your partner to make it work, and I applaud you for being there for your children! You will never look back and say, gee, I wish I'd spent LESS time with my kids.
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