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True Confession — I'm Dating Multiple People at Once

True Confession — I'm Dating Multiple People at Once

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I'm dating three guys right now. None of them know about each other, and two of them are friends. I love the attention I'm getting, but why do I create this drama for myself? I haven't had 'the talk' with any of them yet, so is it fair game to continue dating all three?"

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bethsuga1 bethsuga1 8 years
plenty of people are happy in polyamous relationships - where they date multiple people at once its not how many people she is involved with - the only issue here is the lack of honesty.
melizzle melizzle 8 years
Forgive. You're just dating. No commitments.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Like others have said, you aren't really doing anything wrong. You aren't exclusive with anyone, so you can do whatever you want. Also though, like other posters have said, if any of them ask you, of course tell the truth. If you lied when someone asked you what the situation was, then that would be wrong IMO. The only way it would be unforgivable to me is if you were having sex with all of them or at least two of them and didn't inform the others. Because then they deserve to know just for health reasons.
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 8 years
forgive. its ok to look around. as long as your not exclusive with none of them and just having fun...and being safe
anneface anneface 8 years
I voted undecided. I think it's fair game as long as if you were on the other side of the fence you'd be okay with it. The "golden rule" thing and all.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 8 years
I dont see anything wrong with this. Guys do stuff like this all the time, so I dont know why we, as women, feel bad when we do it.
frieddumpling frieddumpling 8 years
If they all know it's not anything serious, then you're not in the wrong. HOWEVER, I'm assuming since you're asking for forgiveness...really, it's a lie of omission. Don't set up a pathetic excuse for something you know you're doing wrong by saying "TECHNICALLY". If you know it's wrong, it is. So try to amend the situation before everyone finds out and ultimately you're the "bad guy". And it's just wrong to come between friends...
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
I see nothing wrong with it if you aren't in a relationship with any of them. I would be careful sleeping with all of them. The only problem I see it causing is with the 2 that are friends. I'm undecided on this.
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 8 years
Damn girl you're quite busy. My friend was doing this at one time, but she hardly saw them so it wasn't like a real relationship. If it ain't broke don't fix it. That's what I live by. But I'm sure a couple of them will fade away and you will find out who you're most interested in.
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
I voted "undecided." It really depends on if you're lying to them. You're under no obligation to announce that you're still playing the field, but if you're intentionally telling one (or all) of them that you're not dating anyone else, then that's problematic.
mondaymoos mondaymoos 8 years
Men do it allll the time. Definitely forgive... and have fun with it... isn't that what "dating" is for anyway?
chatondeneige chatondeneige 8 years
bchigrl, who are we to judge her sexual choices, as long as she's being safe? Unless they ask, or until you have the talk, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing!
bchicgrl bchicgrl 8 years
There's nothing wrong with dating 3 guys at once as long as its just dating and not sleeping with all 3 of them. That being said it's a pretty ballsy move to date friends simultaneously and especially when they do not know you are seeing them both. I wouldn't necessarily say anything now since it's been awhile but in the future if one of these 3 do not work out the next time you decide to multiple date I would let the guys in question know you are still openly dating so they don't expect anything more until you are ready. It's better they know so if they do want more they can find someone who is ready to commit to one person.
hope2be hope2be 8 years
Eh, what's to forgive? You haven't had the 'talk,' so you're basically a free agent. BUT, what's about the 'drama,' I don't see one unless you're planning on one, which is weird (I don't like 'drama'). As for the 2 friends, I doubt that they're dating you 'seriously,' if neither of them seem to know that they're dating the same girl, they're probably in the same mind frame, just 'dating' around and checking things out.
lilegwene lilegwene 8 years
If you've just been seeing them for a little while, it shouldn't matter. I'm sure most people would go on multiple dates if they get the opportunity and aren't tied down; your situation. Couple things though... you should make sure the guys are on the same page. There doesn't have to be "a talk" for one person to think a relationship is exclusive while the other doesn't. If you actually see it going anywhere with one of these guys, break it off with the others. Lastly, when you list the reason for seeing all three as "love the attention" it comes off... wrong. Kind of pathetic. While it is nice to go on dates and have a boost of confidence, you should be able to get that without creating drama and hiding what you're doing.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
obviously the men don't care who you date and they don't require much of your time, or there would be an incident. then one or more of the men would say something and things would change. friends talk about who they date. either your name hasn't come up (not important enough to mention)m or it has and they aren't bothered. you've taken a piece of information and built a senerio around it. stop doing that and there goes the drama :) the only one who has an issue here is you. forgive because no one else cares.
Fallen85 Fallen85 8 years
Fess up to what? I think you're doing nothing wrong. If they ASK if you're seeing other people then dont lie but if they dont ask then it should just be assumed. Until you agree on being exclusive... you're not exclusive. Simple as that. I used to date 3 or 4 guys at the same time (mind you none of them knew each other at all) and until I had "the talk" with one of them I would keep on dating them. But trust me, if you TELL them you're seeing other people they'll just get all weirded out and offended and stuff so it's much less drama not telling them. In the future... dont date people from the same group of friends.
Myst Myst 8 years
As someone who's done this in the past, the best thing to do is to be honest upfront with all of them. As far as the two friends thing... that is a no-no. I'd suggest you leave them both alone as if you let one go to date another seriously, it could cause unnecessary friction.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
Honesty is the best policy-fess up.
rellicDragon rellicDragon 8 years
Its fair game till you have the talk right ...
danizzle danizzle 8 years
I have done the same thing as you, and i can tell you that it ended up horrible. It is different if you are dating people that do not know eachother, but two friends, not so good. What usually ends up happening is they find out, and end up ganging up on you and eventually they both will let you go and still be friends. I dont understand why, but this is how men work. I would decide which one of the friends you want to date, and cut the other one out. As for the thrid guy, he is all game! Enjoy yourself, practice safe sex, and try not to get hurt!
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I voted undecided. You're technically not doing anything wrong since you haven't had the talk with any of them but you should at least be clear that you are dating other people. Dating friends is usually not a good idea. Once they find out they are both dating you it may turn out badly and they will absolutely talk about you behind your back.
designerel designerel 8 years
I think there might be some friction when it comes to the two friends (once they find out they're both dating you). But since you haven't had the talk with any of them, you're free to do what you want.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
Sounds like you must have a pretty hectic life! But since nothing is official with any of them, it's fine to be seeing more than one guy at a time while you figure out what you want. However, once you decide and do have the "exclusivity" talk with one of them, definitely drop the other two.
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