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True Confession — My Best Friend Is Sabotaging Me

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"My best friend somehow steals every guy that I talk to or become interested in away from me. I am single and she is married, but she just loves the attention men give her and admittedly calls herself a tease. I chalk it up to jealousy, but I'm starting to resent her. I avoid hanging out with her at all costs and it's gotten to the point where I lie to her about the plans I have. Can I be forgiven for purposely excluding my best friend from my social life?"

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Janine22 Janine22 8 years
I really don't get how she 'steals' them if she is married. You said that she is a tease, but if she is married then I don't see how a guy would leave you to be with her unless she is cheating on her husband with them??? Plus, where the hell is her husband while she is doing all of this teasing???
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I say forgive. I do this to certain friends who have a habit of copying everything I do.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
I have a couple of roommates like this. They can't let anyone else have the spotlight... I'm currently dating someone, but I'm not letting them cross paths because then he'll probably end up liking one of them and not me, so I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. I think it's okay to cut out hanging out with her when there are guys around!
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
Talk to her about it, but if this is behavior she's aware of and knows what she's doing, she's not much of a friend...that's when you cut her off.
whtevjenny whtevjenny 8 years
i don't know who WOULD want to hang out with someone like that, personally.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
She sounds more like a frenemy than a best friend. If she's so hung up on herself that she can't let you have the spotlight for any amount of time, she's not being a good friend...so I said "forgive".
SeaAre86 SeaAre86 8 years
I said forgive. I agree with RunninginBoston. If it's a situation like that, those are always tricky. Still, it's time to move on.
Ster Ster 8 years
I have been through the exact same thing, so I can relate. It just takes you a while to realise what she's doing ... the first couple of times you chalk it up to coincidence, the next couple to her just being a little insensitive and then you finally realise she's not doing it despite the fact that you're her friend, she's doing it BECAUSE you're her friend and she feels this constant need to one up you. This guy likes you? Watch me, I can sleep with him. I quite abruptly cut her out of my life, because I suddenly couldn't take it anymore. Looking back, I wish I had talked to her and told her exactly what it was that bothered me. Because now she's free to think that I'm the unkind one who just ditched her and probably learned absolutely nothing of the experience.
RunninginBoston RunninginBoston 8 years
My guess is that she's a best friend from childhood who grew up into a not so great friend as an adult. Yeah, you're being immature by not handling it directly and telling her you don't like her behavior. But, it's tough dumping a friend sometimes, even if you know they are no longer a friend. I say forgive.
bluebird bluebird 8 years
Sometimes bosses have to fire people who used to be the best worker in the office, and sometimes we have to fire the people who used to be our best friends.
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 8 years
she doesnt sound like a best friend. she sounds pathetic and has no respect for you. im sure she knew you liked them, flirting with them. she just wants a challenge to take whatever you have and your letting her get away with it. i wouldnt just cut ties with her, just explain to her you dont want to be her friend anymore, if you dont tell her she will think her disrespectful behavior is ok.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i can believe shes a "best friends" cuz my own sister is like that. the first time i finally let her meet my now husband she asked him if we can share him :S yea she flirts with just about anyone....and shes not married but in a "committed relationship".
MartiniLush MartiniLush 8 years
She is definitely in NO WAY your best friend. If she is married, yet flirting with other men, she obviously has a problem. I suggest dumping her for good and finding a REAL friend!
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
She sucks. You might have to explain at some point why you cut her off, or you might not, since she seems much more interested in her own agenda to worry about anybody else's. Go meet some healthier people.
LoveSarah LoveSarah 8 years
It's time for you to get a new best friend! I said forgive!
acemonkey acemonkey 8 years
I honestly don't think she's a very good friend. I would talk to her about it and if she doesn't stop after that, she isn't your friend. It sounds like she is very insecure about herself. If she is married, she shouldn't act that way.
mydiadem mydiadem 8 years
I said not forgive because you are living a lie. This girl isn't your best friend and you aren't confronting her for a behavior that you hate. Grow up and deal with her like an adult instead of lying and avoiding her.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
how is she your best friend then?
jazzytummy jazzytummy 8 years
This person is not your best friend, but worse than that, she is not much of a wife either. She has zero self esteem and her behavior reflects that. You either talk to her about it or cut her loose. It will be up to you if you want to be her crying towel when her shitty behavior ends her marriage.
vmruby vmruby 8 years
Forgive..... I would say your so called friend has one enormous ego.But how is she stealing men away from you if she's married? Is she cheating on her husband? Maybe you should clue him in to what she's up to. IDK... And I agree if she doesn't have the class enough to respect your feelings and back off, I'd send her packing and find myself a new friend.
LilLucyT21 LilLucyT21 8 years
You can be forgiven and I would move on if I were you. My old best friend did that to me and I put up with it for a long time and I will tell you something, they never change; they want what you got or they want to ruin what you have. It's just attention, decietness, keeping the drama going. Talk to her but I doubt it would make a differnece. It's sad but move on. Take care x
mnp mnp 8 years
I think if she is your best friend, she would've picked up a clue (or like millions) that you aren't happy with what she is doing. Besides, why would a married woman be so intent on being a tease? That's not right.
mlmoreno47 mlmoreno47 8 years
She may be your closest friend, but she isn't your best friend. Best friends can talk about it and I think you definitely should. Also, it couldn't hurt to casually mention or ask about her husband while she's flirting...
bluepuppybites bluepuppybites 8 years
I had a friend like this, not my best friend, and she did the same thing. When we were in high school all the way up to when we'd go to the bars for a few drinks after we were married, she would constantly tease and flirt rather than just having a good time with me. Needless to say we don't talk anymore, and my husband and I are pretty good friends with her now ex-husband.
rach716 rach716 8 years
Why wouldn't you just talk to your friend? I think it's a little immature to just cut her out of your life. If you really consider her your 'best friend' you should be able to talk to her about how you're feeling. If her behavior continues after that though, I'd hit the road too.
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