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True Confession — My Husband Isn't the Father of Our Son

True Confession — My Husband Isn't the Father of Our Son

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"I did a secret DNA test for my son and my husband. Turns out I lied to everyone. I was so sure he wasn't my ex's, but I was wrong. I feel such a strong urge to tell him the truth but it will rip my husband apart. Can I be forgiven for keeping this secret to myself?"


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AyeshaMataraarachchige AyeshaMataraarachchige 3 years

I know so many ppl going to judge me by the cover. Cuz what I had done worst thing you could ever do ..
Here my story .. I was marry to my husband for 12 years but I had an affair with another married man result was a baby boy. Now he's 2 and half years old. I just told my husband that wasn't his.. he's shattered and he told everybody around me that this child not his.. He loves my baby boy the same and no change.. He fights with me but at the same time he's trying to show that he wants me..
OK my problem is he wants me to apply child support from other man to work out this marriage. Am I able to ask for child support since I had this baby while I am married to my husband? I know ppl going to reply me as I am a slut but I know who I am. . Pls help me with any advices! Thank you.

AlohaPinay25 AlohaPinay25 8 years
Omg i need to know what you did? email me because i have a friend who is in the same situation???
calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
oh my! ofcourse u should tell him. he deserves to know. its gonna be a huge fight if he finds out from somewhere else? did u cheat on ure husband or something? wow. now thats a situation
kesh-shugs kesh-shugs 8 years
P.S. IF the truth should come out at some point...say after your son needs an emergency heart, lung, kidney, liver or bone marrow transplant, who says u have to tel anybody that u already knew the truth? is that like a rule or something?
kesh-shugs kesh-shugs 8 years
there's a song by the jamaican artist tanya stephens called 'little white lie' that deals with a situation similar to this. i didnt vote because i dont think there is a simple answer to this dilema...but u need to do what u feel is best for yourself, ur child and your marriage.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
Wait, did you cheat on your husband with your ex? If so then SHAME ON YOU. Your husband and ex deserve to know the truth regardless of what the long term consequences of this are. Your husband needs and deserves to know that he is raising somebody elses child and your ex needs to know he has a child. Good luck with this one~
designerel designerel 8 years
Ugh. As painful as it would be, you have to tell, and tell now, while your son is still young. Hopefully your husband loves both of you enough to stick it out.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i think that i need more information about this one to make a real decision. i don't know what the circumstances were when you were with your ex for you to think that it wasn't his - and that instead it was your husbands. i think that if you were on a break or if you weren't married yet, then there could be reason for me to say you can be forgiven, but i think that if it's not the case and you had an affair, then it's more complicated. my best friend in college had this sort of thing happen. her youngest sister wasn't really a full sister - her mom had an affair and didn't tell her father or her daughter for that matter, and no one knew until the girl was 11 that she wasn't her father's child. it's hard on everyone but i think that in some cases it's really important to know the truth.
CYL CYL 8 years
yes Jessie...I mentioned that earlier too...something I think in E.Jean? About the woman sleeping with her ex the night before her wedding and her ex being a bad abusive person and getting hair from her husband or something for a DNA test? I wonder if its the same person or many people having infidelity issues.
Marci Marci 8 years
We've had this True Confession before. I'm just amazed at how many women find themselves in this position. Who knew? I don't have any strong advice. Essentially you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. So follow your gut and be prepared for any possible consequences.
Frank-y-Ava Frank-y-Ava 8 years
If I were you I'd tell him the truth and deal with the consequences. If I were him, I'd probably not forgive her but I'd still be there for the baby.
jessie jessie 8 years
THERE WAS A POST SORTA LIKE THIS ONE ABOUT A MONTH OR SO AGO....anyone remember that one??!!! i can't judge....there is more to the matter then we are seeing....
margokhal margokhal 8 years
Your son has a right to know who his biological father is. Your ex needs to know that he has a son. Also, imagine if your son (God forbid) develops a condition, needs a blood transfusion or bone marrow transplant? Being able to contact the closest candidates (his parents) will greatly increase the chance of recovery and survival. What about from an economic standpoint...your ex, though he may not want to be in the child's life, is somewhat legally responsible for his upbringing, as he helped create him. Child support? As much as it may destroy your husband, it would be FAR worse for him to find out at some point later that your son is not his - especially if you already KNEW before he did. Such a revelation later in life would deeply affect your son as well.
queenlizzie queenlizzie 8 years
I agree that it's selfish to keep this info to yourself. Eventually the husband is going to HAVE to find out one way or another--imagine having to break the news to him 20 years from now and having to explain why you kept it to yourself for so long. The news doesn't change make the husband any less of a dad.
psterling psterling 8 years
This will eat you alive if you don't tell. You just have to trust the love that your husband has for your son and hopefully he'll come around. No doubt he'll be broken and mad and angry, but if you're patient, you two might be able to get out of this stronger than before.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 8 years
OMG. That is awful. Why would you even have a paternity test done?! What the heck good did that even do? Now you have to live with the guilt or hurt a BUNCH of people. Including the ones that love you most.
htt3h2e htt3h2e 8 years
Telling him would be selfish! It will ease your conscience but knowing who your biological is doesn't make him a father.
Deidre Deidre 8 years
Whatever decision you make, you have to fully stick with it. If you want to tell, tell NOW so everyone can start figuring how to adjust this information into their lives. If you don't tell, you need to keep this secret for the rest of your life (if your primary concern is to protect your child and husband). Personally, I think you should tell -- your ex has a right to know, and your kid may really need to know something about his paternal medical history later on down the line. I know this is a lttle would-should-coulda, but seriously? Why did you even take the paternity test to begin with if you were so sure your husband was the father?
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
oh. my. god. i think you are asking to be forgiven for the wrong thing. but it doesn't matter; no and no!
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
My first thought...oh snap! I don't know nothing 'bout mixing up no babies! Seriously, you need to tell him the truth for everyone's sake and not your pride. And because of health reasons. You think they'll be mad now? They will hate your ass later in life. Don't lie.
CYL CYL 8 years
Didn't this come up as a E.Jean, or Group Therapy or a Dear Sugar post before? About sleeping with the ex right before the wedding date? If it is the same person posting in obviously can't let this need to talk it out with someone, a therapist or a friend you really really really trust. Don't tell your husband, dont' tell your son . It only relieves your gulit to make you feel better and all the while fucks up their lives forever. You take this to the grave and as someone suggested last time this issue came up..draft a letter and go to a lawyer to have the letter only opened if a medical emergency comes up where your son's lineage or genetic history really matters. That is the only situation when it should be relieved. END OF STORY.
Marni7 Marni7 8 years
I dont know man..I think if I was a guy and fathered a child I would like to know about it. It may be hurtful to alot of people but the sooner something like this gets out the less pain it can cause
bluestar bluestar 8 years
I think everyone would want to know who their REAL father is, I would, no matter how much drama it causes.
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