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True Confession — Why Did I Complicate Things?

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"We met and became friends with benefits. I loved it and wanted to keep it that way. He, however, had feelings from the beginning and constantly told me that he wanted more. I ended up falling for him and we dated for 10 months. We broke up last week, and now we're friends with benefits again. He loves it, and now I want more. I feel like I'm being punished for being the complicated one from the get-go. I really want this to work out, so can I please be forgiven for brushing him off at first?"


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Janine22 Janine22 9 years
I agree, although the friends with benefits thing sounds exciting, in my experience I have found that it is a good way to get hurt really bad. I would basically say that you are in and have been in a relationship with this man for this whole time, you have just chosen not to label it as such. My question would be, who broke up with who? If he broke up with you, then he may be happy not having to deal with a real relationship and just getting sex whenever he wants it. If he broke up with you, then you may really be setting yourself up to get hurt here. The only thing you can do is tell him that you want to be in a relationship with him again. If he doesn't want it also, then MOVE ON and don't look back. Good luck to you. And I agree with lilxmissxmolly, if you want more, you have to stop giving him the 'no strings attached' sex.
lilxmissxmolly lilxmissxmolly 9 years
if you want to be more than fwb, you have to stop giving him the benefits unless he gives you something more.
fleurfairy fleurfairy 9 years
Move on. This sort of arrangement will only hurt you emotionally.
apma apma 9 years
FWB after a relationship is an incredible unhealthy situation. This is definitely not a forgive/not forgive situation. This is a a get out now situation. It's letting someone use you for sex after the relationship has fizzled out. It's only hurting you because you want more.
gooniette gooniette 9 years
Yeah, sounds more like a question for group therapy. Also, we need more details! But, from what I can tell, it's time to cut off the FWB ASAP! Neither of you are getting what you want out of it and that's just not healthy.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 9 years
Yeah... I don't understand how this classifies as a forgivable/non-forgivable scenario.
bluestar bluestar 9 years
What do you need forgiveness for, exactly? I'm lost. This relationship sounds confusing anyway. If you want a boyfriend and he doesn't want to be one, lose him!
cordata cordata 9 years
I'm with skigurl ... I don't think this is a forgive/ not forgive situation. Becoming friends with benefits after having a relationship for so long seems unhealthy. I think it would better to move on
fantome14 fantome14 9 years
I don't see the connection between the way your relationship started and the way it's ending. Sure, you're friends with benefits both times, but unless he has specifically told you that your previous behavior is why you broke up, I don't see what you're getting at. I've never heard of a breakup, coming so long after, that was because "you were too reluctant to get together in the first place." If that is why he broke up with you, then it's a stupid reason and you should let him go.
ummyeaitsmarcie ummyeaitsmarcie 9 years
Of course, especially since you dated for 10 months. Oh, and friends with benefits should never be when one person has feelings for the other, it makes the relationship more painful and complicated.
skigurl skigurl 9 years
is it just me or are these True Confessions getting more and more confusing every week? i don't even understand what the hell this says
Frzkey Frzkey 9 years
Wow, first vote. I guess I really should explain. Mistakes are human but you've definitely taught him that you're not interested and probably given them all kinds of reasons to be hesitant to want to try a relationship with you again. That said there's hope that you can change his mind with a lot of convincing. But first - you're going to have to get back out of the friend box. How do you do that? I have no idea.
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