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True Confession — Is It Wrong to Cuddle With Another Man While in a Relationship?

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"When my boyfriend and I fight, I have a couple guy friends I can always call to come cuddle with me. I don't have any sexual feelings towards them, but if my boyfriend knew I did this he would be devastated yet I still continue to do it. Can I be forgiven for turning to other men for comfort?"

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calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
well if ure guy has a problem with it, then its extremely wrong. i dont think u would be okay with him doing something u arent comfortable thing. and skigurl, good one. i voted not forgive. because ure doing something ure bf doesnt want u to do. my bf would never like it but even if he was okay with it, i wouldnt do it. i dont hug any of my guy friends. i find it weird. lol
alexask alexask 9 years
i agree with the golden rule- it was totally suck to think of my bf cuddling someone after we fight- but i also think it depends on what kind of person you are naturally. if you're naturally cuddly, i don't think you should just completely anihilate your actions. but just thinking about my bf doing that makes me shudder. then again, i'm not naturally flirtatious.
puddlesworth puddlesworth 9 years
Not forgive! Are you kidding? I would NEVER forgive that! I hope your boyfriend finds out!
InfernalMari InfernalMari 9 years
I forgive, but not unconditionally and not wholeheartedly. This reminds me of the 'foot massage' debate from Pulp Fiction, and I'll follow the metaphor through. Is it worth throwing you from a third story balcony from? No. But cuddling is one of those things you do to show someone's special to you, one of those things you can act like is not a big deal when it totally is. I wouldn't object to a gay guy being a cuddle-buddy, but I think the guys you're cuddling with are assholes. Because they're being the 'nice guy, supportive friend' to a girl with a boyfriend. Poster, you're not in the clear, but I choose Forgive because it takes two to cuddle.
onesong onesong 9 years
that's bizarre
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Needy girls are such a turn off.
emalove emalove 9 years
This is just bizarre. And I think it's totally wrong.
shellbelle1 shellbelle1 9 years
I'm sorry but I feel like you answered you own question, you said "I know my boyfriend would be devastated, yet I still continue to do it" why would you do that?
darkangel2305 darkangel2305 9 years
Not forgive! You are just being cruel and selfish. This is inappropriate behavior and you know it.
gemstew gemstew 9 years
I think you already know that it's not right. You've said your boyfriend would be devastated if he found out and presumably you wouldn't want that to happen. I think you have to ask yourself how you would feel if you found out your boyfriend was doing what you are... although your not 'cheating', you're sharing yourself emotionally with another man. I also wonder about these other guys you turn to, are they aware that there is nothing more in it than comfort? Even though you may feel nothing, they may, and do you want to play with their feelings like that?
Kimpossible Kimpossible 9 years
I'm very interested to know how old the OP is and how long she's been dating her boyfriend. Regardless I think you may want to start reconsidering the relationship. A) you're keeping secrets from him and B) you're going outside of the relationship by seeking comfort from other men. These are not good habits for a healthy relationship. And do not bode well for the future of this relationship.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 9 years
Are you...serious? Um, like the others say: STRANGE thing to do. Unless you're ok with him cuddling with other female friends after a fight with you, then...hey.
looseseal looseseal 9 years
I'd just apply the golden rule here. If you wouldn't like it if he did the same thing, then don't do it.
kayleigh83 kayleigh83 9 years
I think you already know the answer to this. If you KNOW your boyfriend would be devastated if he found out, why would you do it? That is NOT ok. Not at all. It's fine to talk to guy friends when you're upset, maybe get a good hug for encouragement, but not snuggling. Otherwise it's just you fighting with your boyfriend and then running to another man for comfort - non-sexual feelings notwithstanding.
austerity austerity 9 years
Wow, it looks like everyone here assumes that there can be absolutely no affection between a man and a woman without any sexual tension. I voted Forgive, because I have guy friends whom I absolutely see as (little or elder) brothers and nothing, NOTHING else (the thought of even having miniscule sexual or romantic feelings for them grosses me out) and I would see no problem in going to them for comfort or a hug the same way I would to a father or brother. However, you are the best judge of whether you keep turning to the same guy and what your underlying emotions for him really are.
Meike Meike 9 years
Not forgive. Even if they aren't filling a sexual void, they are indeed filling an emotional void.
quietriott quietriott 9 years
this question has reminded me of a friend of mine who is SHOCKED that her guy friends take her wanting to cuddle in bed in either just underwear or less as a sexual advance. why on earth would a guy think a half naked girl in their bed who wants to spoon and cuddle is anything sexual at all (sarcasm)? the poster just seems like an insecure girl who needs male validation to feel good about herself.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 9 years
Running to your guy friends when you have problems with your boyfriend is really lame, needy and attention-seeking. Whether you cuddle with them or not! Grow a spine and go for a jog or something when you're upset. Or talk to your boyfriend. Why are you running to other people to cheer you up anyway? And sorry, unless these guys are gay, running to guys when you are sooo sad and needy is dangerous behavior in the cheating area anyway. Seems like you're just seeking validation from them through physical contact. Grow a pair!
seraphimm seraphimm 9 years
eh... sounds like a big flirt to me.
clareberrys clareberrys 9 years
Not forgive...Id be pissed if I were him.
xoxoxx xoxoxx 9 years
As a girl with no girlfriends, I can understand you going to your guy friends for comfort. Cuddling...I dunno. If you suddenly started bawling your eyes out and they held you or whatever, cool cool. Snuggling and getting close after every little argument, not so much. You can get comfort without getting too friendly. Otherwise, just start talking to your Beau and try to work out the situation at hand. And if you know doing something would hurt him...then don't do it.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Not forgive. Would you do this in front of your boyfriend?? Anything you wouldn't do in front of your boyfriend is considered cheating in my book.
bransugar79 bransugar79 9 years
This is just manipulative and hurtful on purpose. Why should you be forgiven for soemthing you aren't even sorry about. I don't understand why people get into relationships when they clearly don't want to be in them. Why not just casually date or better yet stay by yourself until you get yourself together. I can't imagine if your boyfriend told you he had a group of women friends he can always snuggle up to in case he needs to you would be ok with it. What is up with people?
j2e1n9 j2e1n9 9 years
:ROTFL: This question cracked me up so I voted forgive. This seems like an amateur mistake, so I am assuming you are very young. In which case, it doesnt matter what you do in this relationship because it is just a practice one anyways! ;) Chances are, you are already making other mistakes in this relationship - because it seems like y'all are fighting a lot if you've cuddled enough to wonder/ask if this is 'wrong'. Just go with your gut and then learn from your mistakes so you will have a better respect for your future relationships. :P
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