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True Confessional — Would You Be Peeved Too?

Weigh in and tell us if you forgive or not forgive this True Confession.

"For our one-year anniversary, my boyfriend decided to take me somewhere special. He has paid for everything and made all the arrangements, but I just found out that he has already been there with an ex-girlfriend! Am I wrong to be disturbed by this? How can I forgive him for making me feel like sloppy seconds? "

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Sofia-Soubrette Sofia-Soubrette 8 years
Holy SMOKES!!! Are they supposed to build all new places just so that you never go the same place you did with an ex?! Get over it.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
I don't see how he is getting a free pass on this he can be more creative and do somthing different flatout!!!
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
I'd be peeved because it means he has no sense of original thought, even if I enjoyed it. My boyfriend knows better. =) I'M the one who accidentally took us somewhere that he'd been with an ex and he made sure not to do any of the same things with me as he'd done before.
Allytta Allytta 8 years
Briandiesel, yes it is a mandatory thing to do something for the aniversary. jeez, some girls just don't know what a real man is like.
Allytta Allytta 8 years
so yeah i wrote this comment and the site crashed, very nice. anyways, if it was a hotel you have my blessing to be pissed off, if it was a restaurant then tell him it was weird for you, but forgive.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 8 years
You can not possibly be serious. The guy found a restaurant he liked, and took you out, and all you can think of is that he's been there before with someone else? Maybe you should move out of town, so you're not in danger of standing at the same bus stop that he's been to before with his ex girlfriend. I feel very sorry for your boyfriend, and I hope that you change your behavior.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 8 years
I'm confused, forgive who here? The poster for getting mad or the bf? How I look at this is that guys sometimes don't take it to that far in consideration, all they remember from previous exes or experiences that the place is awesome, great food, great service, wonderful atmosphere. Or it just triggers some feel-good-moment for him. If anything, I don't think he's trying to hurt you on purpose, OP. My hubby took me to this park where he took his long time ex-gf for their first date for our silly 1 month 'anniversary.' (The only reason I know this is because his ex who was my friend at the time told me) But I wasn't mad, my hubby thought that the park was awesome and beside his ex going there, he's been going to that park since he was a little boy and has had a lot of fond memories there. I took my hubby too for our third date to a Southern food restaurant I went out with one of my exes. Not to reminisce, it's just that the food was AWESOME and the price is right. I never thought it was a big deal, even my hubby doesn't care that I went out on a date to that place before I met him. If I were you, OP, just forgive him for this 'oops,' there are so many things about a place/restaurant/etc that bring/triggers memory more than just the ex(es). Most likely he just wants you to enjoy yourself, next time, plan things TOGETHER so that you guys can create new 'tradition' or memory or whatever. Good luck.
lindssaurussss lindssaurussss 8 years
i understand. i wouldnt be peeved. but you feel like he should know you enough to make new memories with or outing that is more in your taste. but i wouldnt make a big deal out of it
Briandiesel Briandiesel 8 years
He buys you flowers and then you find out he bought her the same kind, you gonna be mad then too?! come on, get over it. Its not a mandatory thing he does anything for your anniversary. Be thankful and happy that he cares enough to plan anything.
ang1885 ang1885 8 years
I'd be pissed. I wouldn't forgive him for the zero thought he put into it. He could of at least tried to be a bit more original. If it was a place romantic like a resort or an over night trip I don't want to imagine him with his ex there.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Oooppss, mean to delete the "guys and girls think differently part". Doesn't make much sense like that. Sry.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Totally agree candace87. "Everyone may judge and say you're overreacting but, to be honest, I would be offended. I don't want to do anything that he has done with someone else before. I would feel like i'm being compared or something. Also, it feels kinda uncreative. Like, 'oh this worked last time, I cant think of anything better soo...." .. I would prefer a new place that he isn't sure if its good or not, over laziness." It would bother me too. I mean really, unless you live out in the boondocks where there are a total of two restaurants, I'm sure he can figure out something to do that's new for both of you, so y'all can make new memories together. I would be annoyed that he was lazy and had to resort to doing something he did with another girl. And yeah, guys and girls think differently. And to all the people saying "oh just be happy that you even have a bf, or oh just be happy he's even trying etc. etc. etc." No, you don't have to just be happy with what you have. If you want something more that's fine, geez, nothing's wrong with having standards. I do think I could answer better with more details though, like how did you find out he had been there before, and was he there before for an anniversary with the ex (b/c that would be unforgivable to me), or just a regular date.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
No big deal, he just likes the place.
Spectra Spectra 8 years
Men are not usually the most creative, especially when it comes to planning things like this. I'm sure he just REALLY loved the place the last time he was there and thought you'd love it too. I can see how you'd be a little miffed that he took his ex there as well, but you need to get over it and cut the guy some slack. Then for your 2nd anniversary, YOU pick the getaway spot so you don't feel like sloppy seconds.
candace87 candace87 8 years
Also, it feels kinda uncreative. Like, 'oh this worked last time, I cant think of anything better soo...." .. I would prefer a new place that he isn't sure if its good or not, over laziness.
candace87 candace87 8 years
Everyone may judge and say you're overreacting but, to be honest, I would be offended. I don't want to do anything that he has done with someone else before. I would feel like i'm being compared or something.
sparklepants sparklepants 8 years
what's the big deal about celebrating anniversaries, anyhow? if you're married, i guess that's one thing. but celebrating an "anniversary" when you're just dating is ridiculous to me. it puts too much pressure on an arbitrary day that you've likely designated as the "anniversary" date and an argument or let down is always inevitable. i don't celebrate anniversaries or my birthday or even valentines day. just a simple card and i love you will do for me just fine. this year for valentines day we ate pizza and watched terrible movies and had the best time. no expectations and no fights or disappointments. just us enjoying each others company. to me, it sounds like you need the attention for him to do something spectacular. although i agree somewhat with jacrabbit84. that just made me laugh. nice job! i feel bad for the guy if he had honest intentions. just b/c he did it first with someone else doesn't mean he thought you'd like it any less. maybe he had a terrible time the first go of it but wanted to take you and try again since he thought it was something you'd enjoy together. give the guy a break...unless he did what jacrabbit suggested. hilarious!
sonya-ina sonya-ina 8 years
Who cares! As long as he's not lamenting her while he's there with you, I don't see a problem with that at all. I bet it's a really nice place and he really liked it in general.
acemonkey acemonkey 8 years
Forgive. You know what? Men are dumb sometimes and they don't think. I bet he wanted to take you somewhere really nice and romantic so he took you there. Instead of being grateful that he took you somewhere nice, you are being petty because he took his ex there a year or more ago. Get over it! Be glad that your boyfriend took you somewhere and that you even have a boyfriend. GEEZ!
missyd missyd 8 years
it's like this was written by a 16 year old
thelorax thelorax 8 years
I think it depends on how you found out - did he sheepishly admit that he'd been on a date there once years ago after you interrogated him? Or did he lean back with a cocky glint in his eye, blow smoke rings with his cigar and say, "So you havin' fun baby? 'Cuz this is my spot. All the ladies love it. 60% of the time, it works every time." 'cause if my date said that, I'd be peeved, too.
Revrend117 Revrend117 8 years
First of all, depending on the location, the ex probably planned the first trip. Secondly, I agree that taking the initiative to plan the trip in the first place is commendable. Guys don't think that far ahead and they enjoy what they enjoy-why change something that's worked? if it works out, ten years from now it could be a running joke. Honestly, how many times have you taken a date to a restaurant that you've frequented with an ex just because the food tastes better and you have good memories there?
teegaall teegaall 8 years
If I knew his ex and she and I had some bad blood between us and he knew it, then I might be peeved. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't think much of it. Now if he took me to that place to propose to me and that was the same place he proposed to an ex-fiancee/gf, then I would not be happy about that.
cherryblossom cherryblossom 8 years
no offense but this statement is very immature. So what he took his ex girlfriend there? perhaps it was just a beautiful place that he enjoyed being in and wants to take you there because he thinks you will enjoy it as much as he had before, just be happy your boyfriend is in the position to take you anywhere and quit complaining about the trivial things that dont matter.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
Definitely forgivable. I would probably be a bit upset (initially) at first, too, but it's just something you've got to move past. I highly doubt he intended to hurt your feelings - it's probably just a really nice place and he wanted to make you feel pampered and special. Like others have said, guys think about these sorts of things differently. So I say stop wasting energy over something that is (in the grand scheme of things) rather trivial, and enjoy your anniversary.
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