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Turn On or Turn Off: Chivalry

Most women enjoy a man who has old-fashioned values — a man who opens the door for you, who pulls out your chair, even a man who helps you out of the car. But there are a other women who find chivalry to be a turn off. How, I don't know, but to each her own! I understand the notion of not "needing" a man to assist you in any way, but let's be real: We all could use a helping hand every once in a while. Since I'm so old-fashioned by nature, I find chivalrous men to be incredibly sexy — knowing how to treat a women speaks volumes in my book, but what about you? Is chivalry a turn on or a turn off?


moxierain moxierain 9 years
I don't understand how good manners and a man treating you like a woman is a turn off. I like being treated like a chick. I also open doors for guys and plenty of them have been surprised and said thank you. If I had a boyfriend I would open doors for him too. Sure I believe that women should strive to be independent because the world is hard and you know you can always rely on yourself but at the same time, I also like it when a guy is courteous. One time at work I got a flat tire and this guy from work helped change it for me. I thought that was really nice. Its kind of sad that feminism has killed off chivalry for the most part.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
I mean, I DON'T agree with the double standard!
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
I agree with the double standard. Like I said, I'm old-fashioned. That goes for decision-making, career, etc. At some point, if my husband wanted me to raise children and stay at home, I might have no problem. This said, I've changed my mind a lot since dating my boyfriend (He doesn't open car doors or pull out chairs, he even sits before me when the waiter pulls out the chair). I'm more independent, and I don't get babied. Therefore, I expect more respect. Once upon a time, when I wanted to date a Prince, I expected to be a housewife with an apron, kids in ironed clothes, to cook everyday and to be "subordinate." In return, my husband would be pulling out my chair, making my decisions like ordering my food, opening my car door, etc.
Meg1010 Meg1010 9 years
I agree that there's a double standard. If women want to be equal in every aspect then we should either take on chivalrous roles or not expect them from men. I happen to enjoy my boyfriend's chivalrous moments, so I make sure to return the gesture in a different way that he can appreciate.
jJuliet jJuliet 9 years
I consider "chivalry" to be assistance that men give to women in situations where the assistance isn't necessary: carrying a woman's bags when she could carry them herself, opening the door for her, pulling out her chair, "walking" her short distances, etc. These used to be common manners, but in my experience, the only time guys have ever been "chivalrous" to me is when they are trying to "court" me (i.e. get in my pants). Plus, they always have this arrogant attitude of "look how great I am, I am opening the door for you" ::eyeroll:: This makes me uncomfortable and literally turns me off. I do, however, appreciate it when people give me help that I genuinely need, or when people have good manners that are considered important in our society (like calling if they are going to be late, or saying thank you). If I lived in a place and time where chivalry were part of the daily experience, I think I would appreciate that too.
puddlesworth puddlesworth 9 years
depends on if the guy is trustworthy.
i-am-awesomeness i-am-awesomeness 9 years
Chivalry is wonderful! Why would you dislike it??
mandy_frost mandy_frost 9 years
I said "other." I was going to say turn on, but I know folks where he's too chivalrous, and he just seems like a pushover doormat. Further, he needn't pretend like we live in 1943. Good manners are hot though.
murdock99tx murdock99tx 9 years
All for it. :) Love it when my man pays attention to my safety & comfort. My gf and I were talking about how nice it is to date a chivalrous man; you can feel totally comfortable wearing "girly" stuff - incl. shoes that are harder to walk in - because your man's there to help out. Niiiice.
Meike Meike 9 years
Turn on! However, chivalry is not a one way street. I take care of my hubby just as much as he takes care of me.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 9 years
Totally a turn on! And chivalry is one of the criterias that I am looking for in a man.
alliallialli alliallialli 9 years
Yes yes yes oh gosh yes. Always a turn on. The first day I met my boyfriend, we were walking back from the same grocery store and he insisted on carrying my bags for me. Simple, yeah, but I loved it!
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
I think duck duck goose made an excellent point. I think that outdated chivarly can be contrived as well, like forcing the woman to walk on the inside or outside of the sidewalk (whatever that rule is) or laying down a jacket on a puddle when a woman can walk around. I'm all for good manners, but anything over the top like that just isn't practical or relevant anymore. I would never want any man to ruin a jacket when I can long jump at least 8 feet still.
JoLee JoLee 9 years
Chivalry is the way to go! I hate seeing me and teenage boys not giving up seats to women. I think that is the worst. Not only were the men not raised right but young boys not being raised to have good manners? It's not an insult to women; it's polite. I hope my own son will be respected as a gentleman. I hope he offers his seat to any woman, young or old. If that woman chooses to decline...fine. It's the man that makes the gentleman, not the woman who accepts his chivalrous intentions. My son is eight and loves to get the door for me and even comes around from the back seat to open my driver door even when I tell him it's not neccessary. He carries bags and uses his manners. I haven't drilled all these in him. It's his nature. To me that speaks volumes about the man that lives in my baby's 65 lb body.
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
If it's genuine it's great.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 9 years
Love it.
michelle-c42934 michelle-c42934 9 years
Turn on! Good manners are essential
avettafawna avettafawna 9 years
Sorry, but we as women are not equal to men in every way. While I too don't want someone treating me like a delicate flower constantly, I think its a huge turn on when a man looks out for my physical safety. Maybe that's a little off-topic, but women are generally smaller and more vunerable to danger than men, and when I think of chivarly I think of the male friends of mine who always make sure I get home ok late at night by walking me to my door or taking a taxi with me or whatever, even when I insist I'm fine. Maybe its condesending, but its also realistic; I'd rather admit my own weakness than end up a statistic.
Leene Leene 9 years
I agree with javsmav. I believe we are equal, women and men. I act nice to all people so that we get along. Why would men have to be extra nice so that we would get along? Huh. I'm imdependent and I can take care of myself. Carrying my bags when there is no need (sometimes you do need help) is just silly. Good manners are different, because I think both sexes can have the same manners.
LOVErickii LOVErickii 9 years
so hot
ninjastarlett ninjastarlett 9 years
I actually expected the results of this poll to be a little more even, as opposed to the landslide that it is... but I suppose I don't see chivalry as just basic good manners; I see it as men who go out of their way, even slightly, to treat women nicely.
bellefleur1 bellefleur1 9 years
According to the Oxford American dictionary "chivalry" means "courteous behaviour, esp. that of a man to a woman." How could that be a turn off to anyone? Being polite, respectful, or considerate definitely doesn't offend me as a woman (or as a feminist). If anything, I wish people of any gender would behave that way more often. Good manners is never a turn off.
eliepoo eliepoo 9 years
i totally agree that it's a turn on and good manners~!!! men need to take note!
ladychaos ladychaos 9 years
Stephley, you hit it on the nail. And javsmav, like Stepley said, you don't have to be a weak person to appreciate someone being raisesd right. Trust me, my boyfriend is very much so chivalrous, and I am to him right back. It doesn't make me too weak to open a door...obviously, I open doors when he's not around.
Hootie Hootie 9 years
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