I'm tired of my family looking down on me. No one thinks I can accomplish anything. I'm the youngest of three and so far none of us have gone to college. My sister and I took a few classes at our community college. My brother just got out of the army so so far he's the most accomplished. I had thought about joining the military a year ago, I started working out but everyone told me I'd never make it. Eventually I changed my mind, the military really isn't for me, that just reaffirmed everyone's opinions.
I think my parents are disappointed in me because I'm really smart, I just never tried in school. I talked about going to university, but when it came down to it my craziness prevented me from going. When I say crazy I don't mean psychotic or schizophrenic or anything, I'm just socially awkward and dependent and let's just say I have some issues. My parents never went to college so I don't get where their expectations come from. Whenever I tell my family about my ideas they scoff and say like that'll happen. I'm tired of being shot down. I feel like everyone looks down on me.
When my boyfriend and I started dating I wasn't working so I feel like he thinks I'm a loser, or at least that he's better than me. I know he doesn't really, but I've become paranoid and now I have terrible self-esteem. I'm about to start school at my community college and go full-time (I'm doing radiological technology) but everyone thinks I'll quit or not go. I hate it.
My boyfriend and I were supposed to move in together, but then he had to wipe out his savings to fix his car so we had to start over again. My sister keeps saying I'll never move out, I need my mommy. I hate that I have no support system, I hate their judgment. And it's not like they're doing anything, my mom and sister are stay at home wives. My brother is the only one doing something (he's about to enter the police academy). No one ever believed in me, I just want to hear someone say I believe in you, you can do it. I want to prove everyone wrong, become wealthy and rub it in their face (immature, yes).
I guess I came here to rant, I don't know. Has anyone dealt with negative family members? How'd you handle it? I feel like we all have emotional problems, they have low self-esteem and take it out on me. We fight a lot. Or maybe I am a disappointment (I know my dad didn't want me, my aunt told my mom to abort me, and I was never the favorite child). I don't know I just feel like no one's looking out for me and they think I'll never do anything. Thanks for listening.