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Are We Boyfriend-Girlfriend Yet?

Dear Sugar
I have been seeing a new guy for about two months. We have known each other for years but have just started to become romantic. He has made all the right moves so far and and we have been spending lots of time together.

I really like the way our relationship is progressing but I don't know how he feels. We take each other to events and introduce each other to our friends, but I don't how to categorize our relationship. We have not had "the talk" yet but I feel like the time is right to bring up the important questions. When is too soon to define your relationship? Ready for Answers Rebecca

To see DEARSUGAR's answer

Dear Ready for Answers Rebecca
All couples progress at different paces but if you feel the time is now to get answers, then you should be getting them. When you introduce each other to friends and family, what do you call each other? Have you had any discussions about becoming exclusive?

Sometimes asking someone you are dating to define your relationship can be awkward and nerve wracking, so it's best to be as casual as possible. Try bringing up the subject in passing and see if he bites. If you get no response, say something cute such as:

"When you talk about me to your friends, what do you refer to me as? Am I your loving girlfriend, or am I more like your good buddy gal pal?"

If you keep the conversation light, you'll make him feel more at ease. This can help him to open up a little bit more about giving your relationship a title. If you guys are on the same page, hopefully he will adore your delivery and give you the answers you want to hear. Good luck.

Join The Conversation
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
ep!!!! where have you been? i like the "why should he define your relationship" line. i agree, why should he :)
Stacy14878746 Stacy14878746 10 years
It's time for the DTR talk!! (Defining The Relationship) It's better to ask. WAY too creepy and stressful to wonder and worry. Good luck!
ethiopian_princess ethiopian_princess 10 years
Don't ask if you're dating. Why should he define your relationship? Do you want to be dating him? It's important to be on the same page, but don't go to him like a puppy dog begging him to date you.
t0xxic t0xxic 10 years
lol I always hated this part of relationships. And I finally got my answer by him reading my online blog and me being like DUDE i dont know if Im his g/f GL the idea to have someone ask works good -------------------- -------------------- Watch us play secret santa, and every tuesday fab find for our wishlist!
merricat merricat 10 years
Guys can be so weird about that moment, though. If you bring it up, they might feel pressured, but if you don't, you could go crazy trying to figure out what's going on. Hopefully, you don't have to be a "Rules Girl" at this point (2 months isn't a long time, but it's long enough, right?!) and pretend you don't care. It kinda sucks, because you gotta wonder, if you have to ask the question, maybe "he's just not that into you..."
honey31 honey31 10 years
I agree with you Valeri!
lickety-split lickety-split 10 years
it would be great if someone could contently ask him "is that your girlfriend" and see what pops out w/o thinking. not sure how that would come about, but the idea of "the talk" has always bothered me. sort of like; if you have to ask then the answer is no. if a guy doesn't want you dating anyone else doesn't he generally make that known? they are territorial after all. but i've been out of the dating pool for a dozen years and i know things have changed. love to hear how you resolve this. WE SHOULD HAVE A FOLLOW UP FEATURE FOR THIS SECTION! THEN WE KNOW WHAT HAPPEND AND THE WRITER COULD STAY ANONAMOUS.
hazel_eyes_smile hazel_eyes_smile 10 years
I agree with Dear Sugar: If you're starting to wonder, then it's time to have the talk. Remember, keep it light, don't force him into saying anything he doesn't want to say and accept his answer. Good luck!
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