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Wear Low-Rise Jeans Forever With the Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield

A Backtacular Gluteal Cleft Shield Is What Every Girl Needs

How low can you go? The only thing classier than letting your "gluteal cleft" hang out of low-rise jeans is covering it up with a decorative patch. You can choose from butterflies, chandeliers, fleur de lis, hearts, and peace signs (what, no whale tail?) and dress like it's 1999 well into the 21st century.

I'd say this is a joke, but a publicist is looking for someone to take on designer Kimberlily, maker of Backtacular, as a client. After all, it's not just for looks! "It’s a hypoallergenic adhesive patch" that is "applied directly to the skin above the gluteal cleft area of the buttocks."

And now I'm not sure if it's supposed to be an appeal to sex or public health!

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