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What Is an Absolute Deal-Breaker in a Relationship?

Maxim magazine's mission was to help its male readers understand us women a little better, and I think it is accomplishing its goal! Asking what chivalrous things you expect a man to do certainly struck a chord with all of you earlier this week, which leads me to believe that you're going to have plenty to say in response to this question, too.

So before taking Maxim's survey, I have a question for you to answer right here! As we all know, people make mistakes in their relationships, but some blunders are irreconcilable. So ladies, tell us what you consider absolute deal-breakers when it comes to your relationships.


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calli-gurl calli-gurl 8 years
all of the above. and i have faced lying and flirting not to mention abuse of all kind, except for verbal, but its not on the list. lol
ibiteback ibiteback 8 years
georgie2 georgie2 8 years
Violence or intimidating behaviour... Not wanting to have children, strict religious beliefs.... Those are those I can think of off the top of my head.
AlexE70 AlexE70 8 years
Though cheating is a close second, lying has be be tops. If one can lie to their partner and notgive it a second thought, what's to keep them from eventually cheating as well? If caught, they'r only lie about it as well. Flirting is not such a big deal, as long as there's a mutual understanding that that's all it is. But lying is a definite deal breaker. Lying underminds trust, irrepairably.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i think that lying and cheating are tied for me - with lying eaking out just a bit more. i think that if he lies, even about the smallest thing, then it means that i can't trust him to do anything, cheat, honor promises, anything - and that's more upsetting than anything else. that doesn't mean that i'm ok with cheating - but i think that lying is worse.
nocturnefata nocturnefata 8 years
I think this all comes down to respect. A person who respects you will be able to avoid most of these pitfalls and more. I see porn( when I'm not involved somehow) and cheating in the same category, but it's more the lie and the hidden behavior where the betrayal is. I'm not sure anything is a deal breaker short of physical or sexual violence. People make mistakes. But when trust and respect are violated repeatedly after we've worked on any of these mistakes, it's time to leave them.
Xemena Xemena 8 years
for me its off when i stop liking the guy , i'll be with him as long as i like him dosnt matter what he does, because i feel like i dont care if he likes me as much as i like him or not its just my feelings that matters, not what he does.
Aphrosette Aphrosette 8 years
smoking (plus everything else mentioned)
Sophie827 Sophie827 8 years
Cheating is definitely a dealbreaker for me. I could forgive a drunken kiss but never anything more than that. I don't understand women who stay with cheaters. I know it's because the man still loves them but I doubt he respects them. I often hear of women who stay with serial cheaters who know that if they were to cheat on their partner he'd leave - where is the equality in that relationship? None of the others are absolute deal breakers it would depend on the situation. and obviously physical or verbal abuse are the biggest deal breakers.
ElenaEv ElenaEv 8 years
Flirting, cheating and lying from that list.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
Um, how about all of the above. yeah... Ummm, can I just list the things that aren't deal breakers? It would be a MUCH shorter list, LOL LOL. :) I'm very picky. :)
Neural Neural 8 years
Bad hygiene!!!
looseseal looseseal 8 years
I don't think porn automatically leads to flirting and cheating, nor is it just a guy thing. 'Cause... I watch porn. Anyway I consider it to be kind of similar to violent video games. As long as you realise you can't do that kind of stuff in real-life, you're going to be fine. Hee.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
Oh wait... not porn... porn is fine as long as it's not excessive use.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
baybelle baybelle 8 years
Any kind of violence - verbal or physical. (oh and cheating too, of course)
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
I read this and I thought...I wonder how many of you consider cheating as physical and mental abuse...because it is. You could get a disease and then there's the angst over it. What if it's a same sex partner and you two are not...not cool.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
For me, the three A's -- addiction, adultery, and abuse. Any forms of this, I'm gone. I think I heard this from Dr. Laura. :)
thelorax thelorax 8 years
CaterpillarGirl: "oh and if he totally kills someone." WOW, yeah that would definitely be a dealbreaker. LOL
thelorax thelorax 8 years
I wouldn't like ANY of those, but I think cheating can be grouped under the lying umbrella since deception is involved. Once trust is broken it's usually impossible to fully restore.
sugarbritches sugarbritches 8 years
Laziness - I cannot tolerate a man who isn't willing to work as hard as I am Violence / Abuse - Physical, emotional, mental...any kind is worth leaving Most of the above could potentially cause the fight that would break us up I guess...
yadiet yadiet 8 years
all of the above except for the Porn. Guys will be guys!!
sam-i-am351471 sam-i-am351471 8 years
Cheating in a way is all of the above. Most likely he is lying about cheating and if he's been with her sexually he may as well be looking at porn not to mention she probably didn't just jump at him, he had to flirt his way through to be with her. Cheating is a big deal and an indiscreation that definately needs to be addressed but it may not necessarily be the deal breaker. I think everything is circumstancial. Porn for me would probably be a deal breaker more than anything. Due to past experience I noticed his lack of enthusiasum for me because of the porn. It completely killed our sexual life and hurt the relationship. He didn't find me attractive anymore because I didn't have the porn star body. Obviously he was an addict and maybe without an addiction it wouldn't be such a big deal. That's why I say it is all situational and circumstancial.
aylee aylee 8 years
My first boyfriend cheated on me. I gave him a second chance and nothing was ever the same. I had to end the relationship. So cheating is definitely the deal breaker for me. I don't think giving the guy a second chance is worth it. I'll never be the same with him.
faerymagick15 faerymagick15 8 years
I had to say "other". Mine would be physical/emotional/mental abuse. I could forgive the other things mentioned in the right circumstances and with the right situations. But any kind of abuse...that is a deal breaker.
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