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What Do Flirty Texts Mean?

"After Text Fling With Guy Friend, I Haven't Heard From Him"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've had a text "fling" (OK let's call it what it is: flirty pic swapping with a lot of chatter, both sexy and not) with a longtime buddy and I think I've been had. Not sure what the etiquette is in this situation, but after two messages over two days asking how he is with no reply (he had a pretty bad cold), I think the right way to go about this is pretend it never happened, right?

I have no intention of sending any more messages ('cause really, I'm not going to be *that* woman who keeps pushing and pushing then comes off looking slightly imbalanced), but it doesn't change the fact that I'm kind of miffed and a little disappointed that it ended up this way. So, wise ladies of Group Therapy, how do I proceed? As it stands, I'm cutting my losses, treating this as a cautionary example of what can go wrong and letting it serve as a reminder for the next time something like this comes up . . . but what do I do if he does text me again? Is it rude to ask what the heck happened and to lay out some "ground rules" if you will or should I just tell him I'm not interested (I am though, which is the worst part) You'd think that being in my mid-30s, I'd have a clue, but this is pretty new territory for me.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously to Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
stella73 stella73 5 years
I would say ignore him but I think we know by the way you've written this its unlikely you'll do so.  The only thing you can do to attain any hope of style or grace about yourself [since you've already put it all out there so to speak] is act as a cool cucumber, be polite but not overly flirtatious and here what he has to say.. if he doesn't apologize for the abrupt lack of communication then pack up your toys and play elsewhere :) 
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
Well, I've been in a similar situation, as far as a guy pulling a disappearing act without warning. He did it to me several times and would then show back up, start texting me, and never explain where he had been. I tolerated it many times, like a moron. I never asked where he'd been because I didn't want to seem clingy or dependent upon him for my happiness. What I was really being was a doormat. I am not saying this guy is walking all over you. He's been sick and maybe he hasn't forgotten about you but is too under the weather to be in a flirtatious mood. Guys tend to focus on one thing at a time. He's sick, so it's all about him being sick. If he comes back and apologizes, and tells you he was too sick to be any fun, then I would just forget it. But if he comes back and acts like he didn't just disappear on you, you should definitely ask where he's been. I wish I had done that in my situation. Communication is key in any kind of relationship and you are entitled to an explanation.
henna-red henna-red 5 years
You said he's a long time buddy, and he's sick. Give it a little time, and if he texts back, then ask. Does long time buddy mean off line as well as on? A text and communication every day is pretty serious communication. At least it would be for me. To not hear from someone every day is pretty normal, but as pax said, if he broke a date, then you absolutely have a right to ask. Remeber, it's easier to start and end something online than off, so it's good that you're prepared for this "fling" to just be a fling, but would you dump a good relationship after just two days of not hearing in another situation? He may be having some kind of emergency preventing him. Trust your feelings, but sure, it's ok to ask.
lcrox07 lcrox07 5 years
If he text back I think it is appropriate to ask, as long as you don't come off as a fire breathing dragon lady which I am sure you are not. Like Pax said, you shared more personal text so you do have a right. However, don't expect him to text at all. It's for the best that you prepare for that... juuuust in case.
pax4pax pax4pax 5 years
If he comes back, it is entirely appropriate for you to ask what happened? What he did is like failing to show up at a place you two had set for meeting. Communication is the key to all, so, ask. Afterall, you shared things more personal otherwise. If you don't believe his excuse, cut and run. If he doesn't care enough about you to stay in touch when staying in touch is expected and normal, he doesn't really care..
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