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What to Do If His Family Dislikes You?

Family Feud: What to Do If His Family Dislikes You?

Whether your boyfriend's mother doesn't like you because she dislikes just about everyone, or his sister has had issues with you dating back to high school, a significant other's less-than-welcoming family can tax even the best relationship. Sometimes you can win them over, and other times it's not even worth it. How have you dealt?


Source: Flickr User PhotoVandal

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Keddle Keddle 7 years
My mother in law can't stand me. She phoned a few months ago to find out if my husband had left me yet and didn't realize until the end of the phone call that she was actually talking to my husband. My husband told her if she sought professional counseling we'd have a relationship with her but she never did and she's blamed me for it ever since. Luckily my husband has always been supportive of our relationship and hasn't let her trying to destroy it gain any ground.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
My boyfriends parents don't like me. So far it seems like they dislike a number of things about me. I'm agnostic, a messy person, I love to cook, I don't have my full drivers license even though I'm 20, I have a casual job while I study instead of a full time job and part time study, I read violent thriller novels, I love sex, and I absolutely hate clean jeans and don't mind getting covered in dirt. I'm the complete opposite of them in almost every way and either they found that quite confronting or some of my views clashed with theirs in all the wrong ways. As such I'm not allowed over there and his parents tend to kick up a fuss when my partner and I want to hang out. I handle it by being super friendly and polite when in their company, and stand up for myself. I'm not gonna change to please them, I'm not dating them, I'm dating their son! (Who loves my cooking so :p)
gLam-shortie gLam-shortie 7 years
My boyfriend's mother absolutely HATES ME!!! For some reason, she got the impression that I was "too materialistic" because I like to buy nice things for myself.... Um, so because I go to college, make money for myself, and live on my own and pay my own bills, she thinks I'm "too materialistic". Whatever. Anyhow, we had our fair share of arguments...she has made me cry and I have made her cry as well. My boyfriend is so static on this one, because he says he "doesn't know what to do". I personally think he should stick up for me, since ultimately, I'm the one who's going to spend the rest of his life with!!! Ladies, you just have to ignore the fact that your MIL is a BITCH, and she may never like you. It's not you, but it's just her complex problem within....just because you happen to be dating her "only son". I say just be "civil and respectful", but you don't need to put up with her shit. Just remember that you love your BOYFRIEND/HUSBAND....and it doesn't mean you have to like his mother.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
I identify with Yogaforlife. As far as my family, I cut out relatives who were unkind to my husband. I took their behavior as being disrespectful towards me (for dissing my beloved husband). Also, I decided to distance myself from these relatives out of loyalty to my husband (if that makes sense). Likewise, my husband does the same for me when it comes to his family. My husband mentioned that he was willing to do that for me because I did that for him with my family.
singlesuzanne singlesuzanne 7 years
I am very lucky my boyfriend's parents like me (or seem to) and treat me well. I was really nervous about meeting them the first time, but I love them!
Frootchinator Frootchinator 7 years
whoops! I was going to say, in the past I have gotten along much better with my ex's families than the exes!
Frootchinator Frootchinator 7 years
I currently get along well with my boyfriend's family. I don't see them often (they live far away) but when I do they are very kind to me. In the past,
Amigone Amigone 7 years
My boyfriend's sister doesn't like me. We don't really know why. She's just not a fan. I just ignore it. It hasn't been a thing in our realtionship although my boyfriend did let me know that he would talk to her about it becuase HE'S not happy about it. I was not pushing the issue.
LeftosDotCom LeftosDotCom 7 years
It's very hard to win people over after you make a first impression. According to the post on our site, http://www.leftos.com/forum/view/407 , it's important that your significant other stands up for you and vouches for you. It also depends on how close your significant other is with the family member who disapproves of you. If you have a boyfriend who is attached to his mothers hip and the definition of a mama's boy, then it's going to be hard for him to ultimately stick with someone who his mother disapproves of. On the other hand, if he isn't that close with the family member or is just very independent then what they say what have as much weight on his decision. Look at the situation you're in and try to analyze why they don't approve and if your SO relies too much on that person in his life. It may give you a better outlook.
kia kia 7 years
Easy we don't live near any of our family so this issue only rears its head when we allow it. :)
ManiMartinixo ManiMartinixo 7 years
My boyfriend is temporarily moving back in with his mother to get away from his current roommates and while I'm excited to have him 3 hours closer to me I'm nervous about meeting his family. I hope they like me but I'll see.
totygoliguez totygoliguez 7 years
This has never happened to me before and I hope it doesn't. If it happens the best way to deal with it by trying to ignore them as much as I can ( I don't care if they hate me as long as they are respectful). If they are just completely rude to me then I will try to avoid them as much as I can. Yogaforlife, I'm sorry that you had to stop having a relationship with your parents because they can give your husband a chance. But I think that overall you are handling the situation the best way possible.
starbucks2 starbucks2 7 years
I always got along pretty good with my boyfriends' families. My MIL calls me more then him! My family is also pretty reasonable, except my grandmother has never liked a girl her son or my brother has brought home. She hates my brother's girlfriend because she's a strong women and can get bitchy at times (mostly it's a reaction to something my grandma said....). They are pretty civil about it though, if my grandma acts out my mom is quick to put her in her place!
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 7 years
My family is miserable and hates everybody. They hated my brother's wife simply because she came from a religious family. They were so rude to her that she became uncomfortable even coming to my parent's house - she eventually divorced my brother because of it. My parents hate my cousin's husband because he has a college degree and sits at a desk. They don't respect men who work at a desk. They have hated every boyfriend I have ever had because of various reasons: comes from a wealthy family, has a college education, works at a desk, doesn't make enough money, comes from a religious family, drives a foreign car, has a tattoo, doesn't like Chevy, etc. They absolutely hate my husband because I make more money than him and because he had an abusive father who abandoned his family when he was a kid (like my husband had anything to do with that situation). The things they say to him are beyond rude and insulting. The way I deal with it is 1) defending him and letting them know I won't tolerate this behavior from them and 2) I keep only the most superficial relationship with my parents, seeing them a few times a year at holidays and not letting them get involved in my life. When you find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, sometimes you have to cut the negative and unsupportive people out of your life. If there's anything I have learned from my husband, it's what unconditional love is, something that is a foreign concept to my family.
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