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What's This Douche's Best Line?

What's This Douche's Best Line?

A man who wears patterned suspenders over a gray shirt in a tacky parody of what a Wall Street trader would wear cannot afford to be as picky as this douchenozzle. John Fitzgerald, the infamous and delusional online dater — who Gawker calls "the worst person in the world" and who PetSugar is obsessed with — gets followed around by the Dr. Phil camera crew (douche overload!) and displays how picky he is about women. What's this douche's best line?

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rabidmoon rabidmoon 9 years
I loved how EVEN if he looked a bit dorky, (ok "a bit" is being generous, if he wants to go there, he looks like an age-thickened PeeWee Herman in that getup.) Anyway, I noticed how he approached the table of women and at first they were friendly, the one in the pink shirt grabbing his arm and smiling in recognition. BUT....after a few moments of being in his company, their body language changed, distant, recoiled, and that face that we women know well means "Dear God please give me some reason to get out of this without resorting to throwing canapes at his head", but that guys like HIM never seem to notice, instead rambling on and on about their favourite topic: themselves!
Beastiegirl5 Beastiegirl5 9 years
I couldn't help but to think "if they were interviewing me after talking to him, they'd have to bleep out half of what I said." I liked- "She looks like Reese Witherspoon- she's okay." What standards! Tool!
LOVErickii LOVErickii 9 years
his attitude is beyond words
cottonpoots cottonpoots 9 years
The first lame ass comment. Rihanna has uber short hair, and she has Chris Brown all to herself!
juliarose23 juliarose23 9 years
ouch...lol
Beauty Beauty 9 years
This guy really is an assclown. I don't suffer fools like him. When guys like this accost me and my friends, I have no problem saying, "PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE" right away.
Pets Pets 9 years
so at first glance he doesn't look like the sharpest tool in the shed... BUT, maybe he is... after all, he said he'd "pick 'em off like a vulture." vultures feed on carcasses... which i imagine is the only prey he can actually get. you see he's not a "mensa member" for nothing. ha.
sweetpeabrina sweetpeabrina 9 years
lol! I remember when the girl called the Bert Show about this guy. He is douche to the extreme. Next!
samidingdong samidingdong 9 years
I don't think I could stand to listen to him for more than 5 minutes without wanting to throw something in his face...and to top off his RUDE comments...his voice is the most annoying I have heard!!
miss-britt miss-britt 9 years
I thought you had to be HOT to be that picky.
The-City-Girl The-City-Girl 9 years
Wow he's really unattractive.
Francoisehardly Francoisehardly 9 years
Hey, guess what turd? I'm not interested either.
duck-duck-goose duck-duck-goose 9 years
What a piece! Jackwad.
AujahAcorn AujahAcorn 9 years
yep! TURD is the word!
Greentea1203 Greentea1203 9 years
haha! ^ Turd! I love it.
SkinnyMarie SkinnyMarie 9 years
OMG that guy is so ridiculous. Nice suspenders, TURD
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