There's no question that shacking up with someone is a major step in any relationship. It's totally normal to question the move even if you're 100 percent certain you want to be with him or her for the long haul. If you're feeling nervous, then check out these signs to find out which camp you fall under. Either way, the right decision is waiting for you at the end.
Signs You Should Call the Movers
- You're completely comfortable with each other: Sharing the same space means not being shy about all your habits, from messy eating to, yes, bathroom business. When you're past the honeymoon phase of the relationship but still love each other just the same (if not more), you're on the right track. Plus, there are many ways to keep the love alive after the big move.
- You've had a major blowout before: And gotten past it. When you've dealt with huge disagreements before and have come out stronger because of it, you know you can handle just about anything. You understand each other's communication styles, which is crucial when you enter the roommate space.
- You basically live together already: Do you sleep over at one another's places five of six nights out of the week? Then you have a pretty good sense of his or her sleeping patterns, what it's like waking up to each other every morning, and all the other aspects that come with this step. If you're still OK with the idea, then consider it a successful trial run.
- You see it as a bonus to your already amazing life: You're not moving in with him because you're afraid to lose him otherwise or because you need someone to complete you. You love the life you lead now, and you see this as a welcome addition to it.
- You've talked it out: You've both discussed your feelings about the topic — why you're considering moving in together, what it means for your relationship, what your deal-breakers and expectations are. If you both communicate openly and land on the same page, then consider it a green light.
Keep reading for the signs that you shouldn't move in together.
Signs You Should Hold Off
- You don't want to give up your lifestyle: From the big things (your sister has a key to your apartment) to the little ones (you blast your music every morning as you get ready), the truth is you will have to compromise, and some of your tendencies may get the boot. If you're not willing to let that happen, then moving in together may not be for you — at least not at the moment.
- Parents pose an issue: When one of your parents has a problem with cohabitation, it might seem easy to blow it off — you're an adult, after all. But if your disapproving mom threatens to stop talking to you and you end up resenting your partner for it in the long run, then consider all the other options (maybe you get a two-bedroom as a compromise) first.
- You have ulterior motives: If your first reason for moving in together is to save money or because you feel lonely, then this may not be the right step for your. Sure, companionship and cheaper rent are great perks, but they shouldn't be the driving factor for the move.
- You feel pressure: From your friends, from your partner, even from your hairstylist. If you have doubts and can't come to the conclusion on your own that this is the right thing to do, then don't rush into any decisions just yet.
- You're doing it to save your relationship: Things have been rocky for a while and you think shacking up will solve your problems by bringing you closer together. The truth is, chances are high that those problems will continue, only this time you'll be even deeper into the relationship. Fix any lingering issues before you sign any papers.