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When You're in a Relationship, Do You Tell Friends About Sex?

When You're in a Relationship, Do You Tell Friends About Sex?

In her much talked about New York Times Magazine piece "Married (Happily) With Issues," author Elizabeth Weil lets readers in on the details of her sex life — specifically that it's not passionate. Weil has a memoir coming out all about her marriage, so the public can expect to hear more about the sex she has with her husband.

In the Wall Street Journal, writer Eric Felten says he pities a man whose wife writes a memoir. Felten bemoans the supposed rising number of women authors like Weil eager to divulge the intimate details of their marriages in writing. Felten writes: "If Ms. Weil would really like to improve her marriage, here's a good place to start: Don't write about it in the New York Times."

Do you talk about your sex life with other people when you're in a committed relationship, or do you agree that it's best to keep those details between you and your partner?

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Join The Conversation
Veka Veka 7 years
My two best girlfriends and I feel comfortable sharing whatever we want, but typically never go into toooo much detail. We know it stays between the three of us so it doesn't really matter what we say to each other. It can be fun and amusing a lot of times to share stories.
sanD13 sanD13 7 years
i don't share while i'm dating the guy, but when the relationship is over, i feel free to share with my girlfriends.
Yogaforlife Yogaforlife 7 years
Before I met my husband, yes, my best friends and I talked. We shared everything - positions, size, even tempo and a lot of laughs at our own stupidity (never have sex on top of a wooden table - you'll get table burn on your backside and will walk funny for days!) or rug burn on the knees during the summer, ha ha. Since I have been with my husband - not a peep other than occassionally I may say we had awesome sex this weekend but I keep it generic. Details are now between me and my husband!
Her-Shoe-Addiction Her-Shoe-Addiction 7 years
Sometimes I do. It depends though. If it is something really interesting or strange sure I discuss it with my girl friends. Why not?
lauraxtc lauraxtc 7 years
I have when Its really good and exciting. But lately no. lol. no that its not good, its just that I am in a serious relationship and rather keep it private. But when I am casually dating, I tell my bff. lol.
kj1210 kj1210 7 years
This very interesting. In todays world I find it a lot easier to turn to the internet to talk about my sex and relationships. I'll come to a site like this or one of my favorites I find it a lot easier to go on the internet because I can stay anonymous, I can speak my mind, and I can connect with people that probably have had similar experiences. There's times where my friends have never been in the situation I have so they might give me their advice but at the end of the day, how valuable is it? Plus there are things I rather not discuss with my friends. I tend to come to tressugar to see what types of things other people are dealing with and then I use to anonymously ask questions and get answers from others. I've found it to be wayyyy more effective then sitting around at lunch and talking with my girlfriends.
tlsgirl tlsgirl 7 years
An occasional joke or general stuff is fine, but I don't want to hear any sorts of details about my friend's sex lives, and I'm not going to give them any details about mine either. I just don't think it's appropriate. I had two friends who thought it was okay to share EVERYTHING about each other, so I'm little traumatized.
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 7 years
I dont discuss intimate details, more often then not its a comment like "yes, we have sex, I'm quite satisfied. So how's the wine?" I don't really kiss and tell. However I'm more than happy to bang on for hours about the smallest detail of my period. :p
biarose biarose 7 years
In high school my and my friends used to talk about it in very intimate detail! I'm still fine with that, you've just got to "know your audience", so to speak.
bellydancinmary bellydancinmary 7 years
I don't share with anybody about what my boyfriend and I do. I make the occasional joke, and that's about it. When I was single, I used to talk about it with my friends a little more, and now that I'm in a relationship, I just want to keep it private.
janneth janneth 7 years
I don't judge a person who wants or need to share. But I imagine most guys would prefer privacy.
b1uebunn b1uebunn 7 years
More in an "OMG, we were having sex and then my mom came to the door!" sort of way. I don't do a "So we tried anal the other week..." type of story because that stuff is private.
xgreenfairyx xgreenfairyx 7 years
I agree with hypnotic mix and a few others here. As long as you trust the people you're with, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. I mean, a lot of people come on websites like this asking for advice anonymously all the time. Some people like getting a much wider perspective, but others don't know if its right to ask their friends. Its a weird taboo that can be a source of anxiety for people, feeling like they can't talk about their issues, hence all the anonymous outlets. Talking about sex in general, especially with good friends, is a healthy way to learn, so as long as you do it maturely, I don't see how its bad taste.
hypnoticmix hypnoticmix 7 years
Absolutely, however it's not just discussed simply for bragging purposes. Often a free discussion among my adult peers is therapeutic and enhances my and their sexual relationships with their partners.
xxstardust xxstardust 7 years
Like weffie, while my closest girlfriends and I will occasionally make a few ribald jokes we don't usually talk about our sex lives in detail. We'll talk about sex in general - issues of multiple partners/virginity, stuff like that (my best friend is single and happy to see lots of different men, whereas my boyfriend and I are each other's only partners) but never specifics like "So last night we did x and y, but z just didn't do it for me ... "
weffie weffie 7 years
Not really, apart from the odd joke. My besties & I are all single right now though, so we discuss our conquests quite freely :)
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 7 years
These days, no.
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