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Where Do You Stand? Abortions When You're Married

Where Do You Stand? Abortions When You're Married

I just read an article that talked about teen abortion rates decreasing, though the rates haven't changed much for older women. I'm sure you all have opinions about abortion in general, but does your view point change in cases where the woman is older and married? Do you think a responsible, married couple should go through with having a baby even if it was unplanned, maybe even unwanted, just because they're in a committed relationship? Or are you pro-life or pro-choice in all circumstances? Tell me where you stand when it comes to abortions when you're married, and remember, even though this is a pretty heated subject, you still need to respect your fellow Sugar users' opinions.


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tayrose tayrose 7 years
rfaulk rfaulk 8 years
I am on this site because I just took a pregnancy test a few minutes ago and the sign in the window was a "+". I am 36 yrs old, my husband is 45, we've been married for 12 years, and have 2 children 3 & 5. My last pregancy was so hard and painful and I had post-partum depression, and the baby was (is) so difficult, we easily made the decision that we did not want any more children. I gave away and sold the crib, high chair, stroller, baby clothes, EVERYTHING! I tried to talk my husband into a vasectomy, but we was not ready. I was switching birth control pills (same ol' story) but didn't think it was a big deal because we rarely have sex anyway. Well, he became "friendly" in the middle of the night (not even knowing the birth control situation) and I was half asleep and did not even think about it until the next day! I have always been pro-life and against abortion, but when I read that + was the first thing to come to mind. I really don't want to carry this baby! I can barely deal with the 2 that I have. Should I keep it just because I'm married and am already a mother??
roptime roptime 8 years
I am a male, me and my wife have 1 child to gather and 1 from previous relationships. We have been married for 2 years our son is 4yr and my step son is 12yr. i have been their for her oldest son since he was 3years old, because his father has life in jail since the child was 3mo old. Me and the 12yr old child don't have a strong bond, because he longs for his father that he never knew and will not open up to me. me and my wife have a 4yr old and our bond is very strong. my wife found out she was expecting a child. i was happy and she was very up set. i have all ways been a good provider for my family even before we had our first son. my wife tells me to day that she wants to terminate the pregnancy. i respect a woman's right to choose, i cant say i am happy about it. i feel like i stepped up to the plate when she had no one else and took on responsibilities, i married her and try to build a strong family, why eliminate my family? she did not eliminate the last guys kid that gave her nothing but a child. should i feel like nice guys finish last. i expressed my feelings to my wife and i told her that i will respect her decision because i don't want a unwanted child to end our relationship. i need to here other women point of views because i am very bitter about this situation are my feelings legit.
i don't know about anyone else, but pregnancy, birth, raising/paying for a person for 18+ years - on top of dealing with all of this in a relationship is not merely a "slight inconvenience". if it is unwanted, meaning the potential mother never wished to be a mother at all, these events could lead to depression, divorce, affairs, negligence, loss of employment, resentment toward an innocent child... we don't take these decisions lightly. this is life. you don't just have a baby that you didn't want and then everything goes back to normal. i think it's easier to go through with an unplanned pregnancy when the only thing you weren't planning on was the timing. most mothers wanted to be one, maybe just not so soon. well that's not all of us. and we thank you for respecting our choices and lives.
it isn't every one's dream to be a parent, and even if you think you're being responsible, mistakes do happen. it doesn't mean you're messed up or in a bad relationship. i think that having an unwanted child or even a child you can't afford is a "heartless, irresponsible and immature act", and it's really easy for people to judge when they've never had to choose. if you have had to choose, and had a child. good for you, and please be aware that you are responsible for raising a healthy, smart, and well-adjusted person. all your decisions from now on come down to that child. no excuses, do everything in your power to give that kid the best life possible. parents cannot afford pride.
snowbunny11 snowbunny11 8 years
I don't think marital status should matter, whether you are pro or anti-choice.
Jennifer777 Jennifer777 8 years
I am pro-life for myself and pro-choice for others (though I don't believe in using it as birth control.) Just because you are married does not mean you are ready and able to have kids; that would be the same as saying that just because you are living together you are ready and able to have kids. And for those of you saying that if you know you don't want kids you should get your tubes tied, go to a doctor and talk to them about it. You have no idea how incredibly difficult it is for a young woman to get her tubes tied. (Becuase the doctors are just sure you are gonna change you mind about it- I had a friend who dealt with this.) It is a fact of life that birth control can fail, it happens. How you deal with it is your own choice.
kia kia 8 years
I think people should have a choice when they are married or single. I just hope that they have a strong foundation with their families and inner circle so that they don't feel helpless or overwhelmed and that is where their decision is based. I have not put myself in a situation to have to consider an abortion so I don't know what it is like and can't judge those that make that decision.
soybean589 soybean589 8 years
"...does your view point change in cases where the woman is older and married?" - NO "Do you think a responsible, married couple should go through with having a baby even if it was unplanned, maybe even unwanted, just because they're in a committed relationship?" - NO Why should anyone be forced to have a child? Having a child should not be equivalent to punishment, it should be a well thought out choice. Sex is a choice. Contraceptives are a choice. Your choice always has consequences and those consequences may lead to an unplanned pregnancy, but people ultimately should have the power to decide the direction of their life ESPECIALLY if the decision is meant to improve it. The existing life of the pregnant person (or their partner) is worth more than the speculative potential of life.
ckeller825 ckeller825 8 years
Pro-choice too. Doesn't matter!
geebers geebers 8 years
Heidi I am so sorry. What a terrible situation. I am pro-choice even when I find abortion not the best option in some circumstances for ME I would never make that choice for someone else. (and despite my issues I still believe it must be legal and available no matter what my personal feelings are).
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
i think it is always a difficult decision to make. and regardless of someones marital status, everyone has their reasons to not want a child. im married and would be petrified and scared as hell if i was to become pregnant right now. having said that, as horrified and depressed as i may be, i wouldnt ever get an abortion. firstly, my religion forbids it unless it would effect my health, and secondly, knowing my conscience, i wouldnt be able to sleep at night. not to mention my husband would never be ok with it. i certainly dont judge those who've had an abortion, because if it wasnt for my being religious, if an unplanned pregnancy happened to me, i would definitely consider at as an option. and im really sorry to hear about ur experience heidi :(
princess_eab princess_eab 8 years
Heidi OMG I'm so sorry and you are a truly brave woman... *hugs*
CYL CYL 8 years
heidi I am so very sorry that happened to you. *hugs* This is why I am pro-choice.
heidi-girl heidi-girl 8 years
i was at first hesitant to comment, but when my ex-fiance and i ended things, it didn't end well of course..mainly because of the abuse but i had just stopped taking my BC because i was having a bad reaction to it (yes, i scheduled an apt to switch to another brand), but until then we had to play it safe..anyway, when we ended like i said it wasn't on good terms and he raped me. i got pregnant and yes, i got an abortion. i was ALWAYS against it, until that particular incident..since my family is hardcore roman catholics-it took almost a year for my mom to be civil with me, i'm still trying to smooth things over with everyone to answer the question, i'm pro-choice.
Jesi_Oh Jesi_Oh 8 years
I'm firmly pro-choice regardless of marital-status. I do understand the perpective of those who are concerned about life being flippantly thrown away but I really don't think there are many women who would make this decision lightly. Marriage (from my perspective) is not a magic cure for relationship/ financial problems (or just personal choice) which might make a couple want to wait or not have a child at all.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i think that there are times in your life when you can be really careful about things and even if you're married - things happen that may not be ideal. i think that abortion is something that's very personal and you can't pass judgement on why people choose to do it. just because you're married doesn't mean that you're any less able to have an abortion than someone who's single and vice versa.
thelorax thelorax 8 years
It IS your choice. Be as careful as possible; if you TRULY don't ever want kids, get your tubes tied or get his junk snipped. If all of that fails, there is always adoption.
Berlin Berlin 8 years
Hausfrau...if you are a young woman who doesn't want kids, and you get your tubes tied, you can have the possibility of being thrown into menopause in your 20s (which is what I faced). If your partner gets a vasectomy, there is a possibility (rare but it happens) that the cut in the lines can actually grow back! As per my comment that they aren't 100%. If the two ends happen to not be cut short enough, they can cross and be fused back together, which you will never know about. So even if you go the 'responsible' route it isn't guaranteed.
hausfrau hausfrau 8 years
Sorry if someone else mentioned this, but if you're married and you know you don't want kids, why not get your tubes tied or have him get a vasectomy? That would be the responsible thing to do.
ktdid214 ktdid214 8 years
I am 100% opposed to abortion. There are plenty of people out there who would adopt that baby if the married couple doesn't want it.
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