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Where Do You Stand: Asking About His Ex

Whenever I start a new relationship, I'm always curious about his ex-girlfriend. Although she's no longer competition per se, I think knowing about the person he dated before me has the ability to be very telling. I'll admit that I've been known to ask for too much information, and even though I sometimes don't like what I hear, it never stops me from being inquisitive once the dust settles! Are you the same way? I know that some people prefer to know nothing at all, so tell me ladies, where do you stand on being privy to your current boyfriend's past relationships?


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cbaby28 cbaby28 8 years
no i dont ask because i don't want to know!
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
My boyfriend only has one ex and he was with her for 3.5 years. I won't go out of my way to ask questions and since they broke up over 2 years ago I am not really too concerned. He has flaky and intermittent contact with her and isn't bothered about this. It was his birthday like two days ago and she didn't even bother to wish him well... so I don't care about her. Sometimes little things that annoyed him about her will seep out and that's fine. He never mentions her though. All that matters is... I'm better. ;p
Asia84 Asia84 8 years
yeah, i i can find out that she give better he*d than me! what do I need to know about her. I don't want him asking about my exes.
georgie2 georgie2 8 years
I don't really want to know and wouldn't ask except maybe in passing if something came up.
plus_2_kid plus_2_kid 8 years
I want to know EVERYTHING. By the same token, I'll tell him anything he asks.
CoMMember13630786602261 CoMMember13630786602261 8 years
My current BF was actually married before he met me. In which case, yes I was curious as to why his marraige ended. We were both in unhealthy relationships before we met eachother, so the topic came up..but it went both ways. I told him a bit about my ex and what happened and he told me a bit about his.
joesbabygirl joesbabygirl 8 years
"sevy" said it the best. I'm just like that. I pry and get what I'm asking for everytime!
vmruby vmruby 8 years
I knew his ex girlfriend so there was no reason to ask any questions. As for the others I could care less.I feel very secure in his love for me and confident in myself as a woman.I just don't see the point in grilling him about his past relationships because I'm the type of person who prefers to leave the past where it belongs and that's in the past.
Jeny Jeny 8 years
I think I would rather not know.. because as soon as you do, you start comparing yourself to her and wonder if they did the things you do with him because now you have a face to put with the name.. i'd rather be oblivious..
chicobo chicobo 8 years
Perhaps it the past but it does affect and shape a person to be who they are now. I'm curious but I tend to shy away from asking; he just offers it when it comes up. He actually *hates* his ex and has gone through his pictures and what not and thrown away the ones with his ex. I also don't think I need to ask because he very much focuses on me. :)
bbkf bbkf 8 years
I don't ask because I don't care.
Rebecca14916991 Rebecca14916991 8 years
I wouldn't have asked at all and would rather have dwelled in that happy and sheltered "I'm the only woman he has ever loved" bubble, but my guy had some serious baggage from his last relationship, so he felt he should be straight up with me and told me about her. Now I do get jealous (and angry, because of what she did to him) whenever she comes up in a conversation. Especially when he inadvertently brings up how in love with her he used to be and immediately starts backpedaling - it makes me think he might still have feelings for her and makes me really insecure. That's when I start asking questions I probably shouldn't. He just sees it as a fact now, but I still can't stand to think about her with him. He understands that it makes me uncomfortable and tries to avoid the topic, but he was practically married to her, so it's not like I'll really ever be able to get away from her ghost.
designerel designerel 8 years
totally guilty of doing this. i don't know why... i guess curiosity gets the best of me.
suyenyen suyenyen 8 years
from the very beginning, i let him tell me the gist of his past relationships, but I don't care much for details.. I prefer to discuss it from the very start so it won't get in the way later on in our relationship..
javsmav javsmav 8 years
My boyfriend is still good friends with his ex. I invited her to his birthday bbq this weekend because she is spending the summer in the city I live in. I don't particularly like her, but she isn't a threat. She has a boyfriend now and they dated almost 10 years ago, but still, I'd rather pretend my boyfriend has never had a girlfriend before me & it's really hard to do that when she's RIGHT THERE.
Sun_Sun Sun_Sun 8 years
might have a little curiosity but i know that deep down i really dont wanna know in my mind his exes are fat and ugly and just not as lovable as me..and i'd like to keep it that way ;)
356UIK 356UIK 8 years
No way!! Who cares?? What's in the past, is in the PAST. That's why they call it the past, because it has PASSED. There's a reason why certain people dont make it into one's future and I could not care less who-what-when-where-why or how.
heidi-girl heidi-girl 8 years
i'm the exact same way.
ajennilynrushhh ajennilynrushhh 8 years
I'm exactly the same, I ask. I'm with Sevy and whoever post this. I'm always curious.
sc-cutie sc-cutie 8 years
We talk about everything. He has a colorful history, and loves to tell stories. Doesn't make me upset, just adds insight into who he is.
CYL CYL 8 years
I only ask if he wants to share...and usually he is talking about something first. I don't get all the details but I do like to know where it went wrong and why they broke up...because stuff liek that impacts our relationship too.
melissa624 melissa624 8 years
I know that I'm a jealous person, so I can't ask or it would piss me off! He never asks me either, it's just not something we talk about. It's good to know what your reaction might be BEFORE you find out/ask information like that, so you don't get stuck in a situation you weren't prepared for. I don't like that I'm so jealous, but at least while I'm working on improving that part of myself, I can avoid any icky situations in the meantime!
Jude-C Jude-C 8 years
If he wants to share, that's fine and won't bother me, and it'll probably be interesting, but I've never felt compelled to ask. It's not really something I care about.
A-Journey-To-Wellth A-Journey-To-Wellth 8 years
and by the same token he doesnt ask about my exes.. history is history
A-Journey-To-Wellth A-Journey-To-Wellth 8 years
Agreed, cubadog! I can be the type of person like Sevy to get bitter if I know the details (or really anything for that matter..) and now that him and I are together, what's the use in worrying myself about the ex??
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