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Where Do You Stand? Breaking Up and Getting Back Together

Jimmy Kimmel joined the ladies of The View yesterday, fresh off his second breakup with Sarah Silverman — which was of course one of their first topics of conversation. He didn't divulge too much information, but when Barbara Walters asked if their relationship was over for good this time, he said she'll have to ask Sarah — in other words, he wasn't opposed to the idea.

A lot of you feel that taking breaks can be beneficial to a relationship, but tell me where you stand on the notion of breaking up and getting back together. Does the drama bring a level of excitement back to the relationship, or is all the uncertainty just a recipe for disaster?


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sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
It has never worked out for me! When it's over, it's over.
bubblyw bubblyw 8 years
I think the most important factor is WHY you broke up. There's a difference between getting back together because some prevented you from being together before, and going back to someone who treated you like crap because you've decided it's the best you can do. My bf and I got back together - he graduated 2 years before me and got his masters in another state while I finished my undergrad. It was hard, but the magic of rediscovering how we felt about each other, and getting through that and still wanting to be together meant we had something.
potterlove potterlove 8 years
If a couple has an "on again/off again" relationship, then it's just so much predictable on how that would be like if they continue to see each other. If they only have a "break" as opposed to "break, when we're free to see other people," then that might be good for the relationship. But if the break they have is the latter, then that relationship is headed for an end, only they're trying to stall the inevitable.
jesssa jesssa 8 years
really depends on the reason for the split and the nature of the split in terms of how good/bad it was. i'd say generally it's not going to work out the second time though.
njau njau 8 years
It really depends. I have a good friend, who after dating a guy off and on for several years, finally took a clean break from him for 2 1/2 years, and then when they saw each other again after that, it just clicked and now they are engaged. I'm the hopeless romantic so I am super happy for her. It can happen, it's not the norm, but as long as you put the ground rules and get through what happened in the first place, you may be able to make it.
ohbaby7 ohbaby7 8 years
My boyfriend and I JUST broke up after dating for 1 year and 6 months with few problems. Its only been a week, yet we have been hanging out and flirting like usual, as our mutual split did not involve any fighting or anger. I think that if we get back together, we might be able to work it out
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
I don't back track.
merie33 merie33 8 years
It depends on the situation. My boyfriend and I were VERY up and down at the beginning of the relationship, I'm talking on and off for the first year and a half. But each of the three times we broke up, we analyzed each issue, and have never had the same issue again after we've resolved it. I'll admit that sometimes I'm rash and let my temper get the best of me when we argue, and that's probably the root of most of the issues we had. We've been great though for the last 3 years, marriage discussions included. I couldn't, and wouldn't ever want to be with anyone else. So from my point of view, it CAN work, but I can also see where it wouldn't i.e. you broke up because he beats you or something horrible like that.
jessolicious jessolicious 8 years
i think it can work for some people, but break-ups happen for a reason and unless BOTH parties are committed to revisiting every issue that led to your first split and working on fixing those problems for good, it's probably a lost cause. i think it's also important to keep in mind that on top of dealing with all the problems of the relationship, you'll also have to deal with the feelings surrounding the breakup and any anger or resentment that built as a result. i'd be willing to roll up my sleeves for a relationship that meant a lot, but i would need to feel that my ex was equally as committed to making the necessary changes. if he wasn't, it just couldn't happen.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
Maybe after the first time... But if it happens twice, it should be for good; there's no way that relationship is working out, you know?
bbkf bbkf 8 years
I think sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I dated a guy for a few months, broke up, spent a year dating other people, then got back together for 4 years. When couples break up weekly, though, that's just ridiculous.
le-romantique le-romantique 8 years
I have never given second chances, but with my current bf, after about 7 or 8 months of dating we broke up for 5 weeks and got back together... we have never been closer. I think it really helped, actually- we've been together for a year and 2 months or so now, and the past few months were amazing (although the 5 weeks apart were the WORST ever... can't believe I got through it.) He is truly my first love... if it happens again though, I'm not so sure... its too dramatic and confusing... He'd REALLY have to redeem himself...
sass317 sass317 8 years
My brother and his gf have done this off and on thing a few times. Now they are living together and he is planning on proposing to her, and less than a year ago he almost called to ask if he could come live with me bc things were so bad. I personally dont think breaks are good. I have been with my DH for 4 years and it never once occurred to me to want to take a break. But he is an adult and if he thinks she is the one, who am I to argue with him?
Deidre Deidre 8 years
I don't buy that it works. You will most likely still have the same problems that were there to begin with. I think there are people who don't give themselves enough time to be completely over the relationship before they start trying to have their ex in their life again ("we're just friends")...and that's when the emotions take over again. Now I just wish that my brother and his on-again-off-again girlfriend would realize how miserable they make each other...(both awesome people individually, but not when they're together).
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I agree with dm8bri. I think some time apart or less time together can help if you're just having a rough patch but as far as a legit breakup, no. If you can't make it work then you never will.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
My current boyfriend and I were on/off for 5 years before finally settling down. I can say that we never truly got together or truly broke up, but there was definitely no consistency or commitment. Now we're talking marriage and incandescently happy. So, you never know. I do think that a serious break up of a serious relationship is doomed to repeat if the couple gets back together.
Smacks83 Smacks83 8 years
I'm with care0531 on this one, I think it depends entirely on why you broke up in the first place. Not all break ups are bad, sometimes the person you love has to move to another city, or has to get themselves together first or what have you. Maybe they just can't deal with a relationship if someone in their family is very sick and needs to be cared for. There are instances getting back together can work. Although if you did have a bad nasty breakup then no.
geebers geebers 8 years
I think it depends on the situation but generally if you are breaking up more than once - you are not addressing the actual root of the problem. I would not take my ex back unless we completely analyzed every little issue and hashed it out together - and seeing as that takes tremendous work and effort- don't see that happening anytime soon.
care0531 care0531 8 years
I broke up and got back together with a couple boyfriends and usually it doesn't work out. The man I married I had broken up with but that was because of a drinking problem that he ended before we got back together. So it always seems to depend on the situation.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
Just to add, I think the people who break up and get back together let their emotions fuel their relationship too much. It just seems as though one fight leads to a break up, and one nice comment leads to a make up. In a relationship there needs to be emotions and logic involved. If we're talking about THOSE people who do it constantly, there is no hope. Like, none, at all. if you resort to threatening a break up, and actually "doing" it constantly...that is so uncool, and so unhealthy for both parties. For couples that it happens to once or maybe in some cases, twice...I think getting back together may be good, depending on the circumstances, as stated in my previous post.
bchicgrl bchicgrl 8 years
obviously you broke up for a very good reason even if it was an impulse action (there is something deep down that made you do it). I would stay broken up because in most cases if you get back together it will become a cycle and just cause more stress.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
If you really want to get back with someone you care about, and that person wants to be with you...there should be no drama or uncertainty. If you want to be with someone and they are just on the fence, that might be a disaster, and visa versa. Both people have to want it, have good reason for wanting it, and be willing to analyze why it didn't work and how likely it is to happen again. If that's the case, get back together with the person. But if it's mostly one-sided, or not carefully thought about, then no way. It's just going to be a lovely sh*t fest.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
in my experience, when people break up and get back together, they only end up breaking up again within 1-3 months it's not very often that it works out in the end...especially couples who break up off and on ALL THE TIME. that's not stable. you're never going to marry the person you break up with every 2 months.
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
I was just talking about this with my mom... we both decided that it means there is no future in the relationship. But if drama and excitement is more important than a future with the guy, it's something to aim for... ha.
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