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Where Do You Stand? Choosing a Ring Together

Generally speaking, most women know when a proposal is on its way — they may not know the time or the place, but they can usually sense it. And since that step is such a big one, some women like to be in on it, especially when it comes to the ring! But if you shop for it together, the cat's out of the bag and then it just becomes a waiting game. I'm torn on this one, because while I wouldn't want to be unpleasantly surprised, I wouldn't want to know what to expect either. So what about you? Where do you stand on picking out your engagement ring with your husband-to-be?


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LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 8 years
dikke I noticed that too in the movie...she simply took his hand. :) :love: It's all so's truly the meaning/token. You would want that token to be something lasting and with value, but you don't need to sweat the small stuff. I think where guys feel the pressure is that this ring is going to be something that your bride will wear every day for the rest of her life.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
I'm so glad I wasn't one of those types to be choosing rings in a store. It's putting priorities in all the wrong places. Hasn't anyone watched that movie Sleepless in Seattle? In the movie Meg Ryan's boring fiance chooses a ring in a store for her and then later asks her. It doesn't work out and she gives back the big expensive ring. Later she goes with the more mysterious and spontaneous true love, Tom Hanks. When my husband asked me it was a total surprise, and I'm so glad. He didn't even have an engagement ring picked out, so later after I said yes, I just made a couple of suggestions, but made it clear it was his choice and I would love anything he bought. Too bad so many times a simple token of love has turned into a shopping spree and status symbol here.
PensaGrey PensaGrey 8 years
I'm against a guy proposing to me with the ring. I need him to know that it has nothing to do with my answer. I'd rather get the ring after we celebrated the proposal in bed the next morning. Like in 'Stepmom'. That was sweet. :) If I'm going to marry him I should trust he knows my tastes well enough to pick out a thoughtful ring. If it was yellow gold or some gawdy-sized emerald cut colored diamond, for example... we shouldn't be getting married because he clearly doesn't know me.
kurniakasih kurniakasih 8 years
My hub was a clueless guy when it comes to 'fashion' or anything that looks good (I hope he's not behind me reading as I'm typing this :D) I found this out when he gave me a 'promise' ring (well, I called it that, although it was intended to be the engagement ring LOL). He realized I might not like the ring too much because I rarely wore them (well, my excuse was since I was doing a lot around the house, it and when I tried to wear gloves, the ring always got stuck ;) ). He ended up bringing me to the jewelry store and picked another ring beside the wedding band, so I chose what I liked. He's asked me to marry me like a long time before that happened plus I'm not such a 'romantic' type who wants to have a 'story' to tell about my engagement so I guess my stand about the topic is I totally support choosing a ring together. :D
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 8 years
We would know eachother well enough by then. My guy will have style & class so I would trust & love anything he picked out if he chose to surprise me. If it happens that he wants to look around a little ahead of time to see what style I like or what looks good on my finger, that's fine, too.
SweetSaucy SweetSaucy 8 years
We have known we were going to eventually marry almost since we met, so the engagement wasn't ever going to be a surprise. :0) I picked out my ring, and it is literally the most beautiful engagment ring I've ever seen! It took nothing away from his asking me, down on one knee, to marry him. :0)
superstephanie superstephanie 8 years
we went together. his idea. I'd rather have it that way. My long time ago ex was planning on proposing and had one picked out. after we broke up he told me that, and it sounded really ugly. I'm SOOOO glad it never happened!!!!!!!
besi0004 besi0004 8 years
completely* and ring*
besi0004 besi0004 8 years
My FI and I had looked whenever we'd pass our favorite jewlery store, but it wasn't like I expected anything. However I do find it important to show him examples of what you like. Imagine getting something that was completely not you and having to wear it forever? Even though he knew what I wanted, when it came to proposal time, I had NO idea. I find it ridiculous that you say looking at rings together makes it just a waiting game. Like I said, I was comppletely and udderly surprised and shocked and got the rink I wanted. If you never discuss a potential engagement and you've been in a relationship for years where a proposal could happen, then you're in trouble.
jadenirvana jadenirvana 8 years
I don't think picking out the engagement ring you want is tacky at all. I think it reflects the more modern, confident belief that marriage is a partnership, something you embark on together, not something that happens to you. I think that's a little silly. Most women know when a proposal is coming, so why the games? My fiance proposed to me with his grandma's ring, then we went together to the jewelry store and designed an engagement ring. It was much more fun and bonding doing it together, and hey it's my ring! I'd like some say it what a piece of jewelry I'm going to wear forever looks like.
M-Rossiter M-Rossiter 8 years
We designed my pear shaped diamond solitaire ring together and I didn't get to see the final product until he proposed. So it was still a surprise. :) My wedding band was also custom-made and I love it. I haven't seen anyone else with a pink sapphire and diamond channel set band!
RaCheer RaCheer 8 years
I'm VERY picky and know exactly which ring I want. I want a pear diamond, Katherine Heigl's ring to be exact. I haven't seen anything even remotely like it stores. So my boyfriend will just have to take the pictures I have of it and have it made. It will still be a complete surprise seeing it in person for the first time!
Autumns_Elegy Autumns_Elegy 8 years
I can't wait to go ring shopping. It's going to be one of the most important and sentimental pieces I'll ever wear, so it has tobe so beautiful it's to die for!
sarah100682 sarah100682 8 years
I think it's good to talk about it, who wants a ring they don't like, no matter how much they are in love? My boyfriend knows what I like and don't like. I wouldn't want to actually pick it out because not only would I want the proposal to be a surprise but I would like the ring to be also.
Lukin Lukin 8 years
I'm nowhere near ready to get married, but just from conversation, knowing my personality, and getting my style (well, as much as a guy ever can understand women's style!), I'm sure he could pick one I love. I've never shopped for rings in my life before, but I'd imagine if he went in with a rough idea of what he thought I'd want, they would be able to point him in the right direction. I think it would take the fun and romance out of it, unless (like Turkey Jerky said) I'd forgotten or pushed it to the back of my mind.
turkeyjerky turkeyjerky 8 years
My husband randomly pulled me into a jewelery store one day and we looked at rings. No proposal had been made. We used the time to both become familiar with color/cut/clarity/size/gold vs platinum and the like. I don't wear much jewelry, so I learned a thing or too, as well! I pointed out things I liked. Quite a while later (9 months or so, I think. Long enough for me to brush it to the back of my mind) he proposed and it was a complete surprise, and the ring was perfect :)
rffree rffree 8 years
I used to think that I wanted to go to the jewelry store together and that would be how we got engaged, but now having been through 2 of my best friends engagements and hearing their stories, I want a story like that too!
katiekat95 katiekat95 8 years
It's already been picked out. Now I'm just waiting for it ;)
javsmav javsmav 8 years
We went shopping together. I wanted a lab made diamond, but he was skeptical. Fortunately we live fairly close to the retail store for the lab, so we went together to check them out in person. I picked out 2 that I liked, but couldn't decide between them, so I told him to make the final decision.
pharm_chick pharm_chick 8 years
i actually got my diamond ring for my first anni, and i picked out the design. win win for me and him.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
A subject after my own heart. Jewelry. As for me, I had a particular dream ring in mind. However, truthfully, I never thought I would own it, as it was exclusive, and high-end designer (in other words, it was damn pricey). I didn't want to go into debt over a ring. As much as I love jewelry, I'm more sensible than that. So, I chose a couple of artisan-design pieces. They were well-designed, but did not carry the high-end designer price tag. I left the finally decision up to my husband, as well as the diamond carat weight. To my shock, when he actually proposed, he presented me with my dream ring (with my ideal diamond weight). I almost fell off my seat. Somehow, he purchased the ring without going into debt. Of course, I said yes. :)
Chica8a Chica8a 8 years
we are in the processing of going thru all of this right now! I have decided to go with my best friend and mom to look at rings and then my mom is going with my boyfriend to pick the final ring of choice.
oohsexypenguin oohsexypenguin 8 years
My husband proposed first (using a family ring as a token), and then we picked out a ring together. But if he'd just picked a ring on his own I don't think I would have minded. I'm not that picky.
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