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Where Do You Stand? Dating Someone Who Lives With the Parents

If I found out the guy I was dating was living at home, I'd be totally turned off, unless of course he's taking care of his sick mother or his house just burned down. If a guy is simply mooching off his parents, or is too lazy and cheap to pay for his own place, it's a pretty good sign that he'd make a bad lifetime partner.

What do you think about dating someone who lives with his or her parents? Do you think it's a non-issue, even though you'd have almost no privacy, or are you totally against it?


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dani17731 dani17731 8 years
I'm 23 and I live with my mom (and pay rent). I wouldn't want a guy to count me out because of that. I'm a full time student and work part time (soon to be not at all because I need to quit to complete my full time student teaching) and people always say "you're young, don't worry about that yet". I guess what I'm trying to say is don't count out a potential date because they live at home. It could be for a number of noble reasons lol.
dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
I didn't stay home, but if I had, I might have been better off financially speaking. It's OK. Maybe the guy is saving money. Maybe if he met the right girl he'd move out and start spending the pile of cash on her. Men can be babies. Sometimes they want to stay home. The attitudes here are a bit harsh regarding this issue. In Europe I think people tend to live a long time with parents as well. It's a bit uneasy for us to swallow sometimes, however it's also sign that the guy likes his parents and they care about his well being. I'm sure it does get old after a while though. There's a time to push the baby birds out of thier nest.
georgewilson georgewilson 8 years
What if a man has a disability that affects how he develops? If you like his personality and see the good in him, and he doesn't treat you bad, would you still say "I don't want this guy cause he's a retard who lives at home"? I'm guessing nobody thought of this one.
michelleannette michelleannette 9 years
completely depends on the situation. for instance, my boyfriend's parents are awesome. we'll go over there and hang out with them...then sometimes stay the night. if he lived at home, there would be a VERY good reason and his parents are great. i don't think i would mind it too much despite the fact we're both 25. but, we have our own place so it's not an issue :)
CaterpillarGirl CaterpillarGirl 9 years
speaking from experiance, ladies, try and find someone who is living on thier own, who has had the life experiance of paying bills, moving apartments, having that all important severing of the apron strings. I married a man who was living at home still, he didnt even know how to write a check, or make a deposit for utilities, and he went through the "finding himself" phase, which should happen when one moves out.
gruaig_rua gruaig_rua 9 years
I'm 28 and have been living at home again for the past three years. Not proud of it but circumstances forced me home. I am very grateful to my parents for taking me back in though. And I do pay rent and do my own laundry etc. Like another commenter on here, my country has had a huge property boom over the past few years which has inflated property prices and rent rates. Most of my friends have had to move back home. It's practically impossible to get a foot on the property ladder now, especially if you are single like me. Renting isn't as popular here as it is in other countries. Ideally I would love to rent by myself for a few months. I've never lived alone but would love to try it. Unfortunately I can't afford that either. I could move in to a houseshare again (not my preferred option) but it would mean selling my car as I can't afford the repayments on that along with tax and insurance if I start paying city rental prices. What I am trying to do is save my ass off to go travelling for a few months. Then come back and seriously attempt to buy a place of my own.
bluebellknoll bluebellknoll 9 years
For me, I would NOT date anyone that still lived with their parents (unless similar reasons like what DearSugar said). I'm a little old for that. But I don't necessarily think that it would be a bad thing for someone young.
jmeyer jmeyer 9 years
While I understand that there are times when an individual is forced to live at home, I can't help but find it a complete turnoff. I am very attracted to guys who are ambitious and independent. I have a hard time believing that someone who was ambitious and independent would live at home, other than in a very temporary situation. My opinion also comes from the fact that during my entire childhood my next door neighbors allowed their adult son to live with them. He had a full time job & other than the fact that he lived at home with his parents, he was entirely normal. In fact, I think he still lives there!
TFS TFS 9 years
wots wrong with living with parents? nothing at all tbh. ur just a shallow bitc h and it means they have more money to spend which means more fun. (Y) so gutted on u love.
lintacious lintacious 9 years
WhiplashGirlchild: Oh i've been living on my since I was 17 but it's hard. And I can't really say it would be "responsible" to spend over $50k in rent, if you have the opportunity not to. Obviously I would prefer to date a guy who has his own place; but I wouldn't say it's an immediate write-off. I would feel out the situation first.
designerel designerel 9 years
it's ok as long as the guy doesn't plan on staying with his parents forever. like some posters have mentioned, with some cultures it is the norm to move back in with your parents after college, so you can save up money to buy a house. that's exactly what i'm doing now. of course i feel like a loser sometimes, but it's just NORMAL for asians. my bf is also living at home with the 'rents until he gets into pharm school. it is rather inconvenient because we have to be sneaky when spending the night. ;) but yeah... not a big deal.
alltherage alltherage 9 years
no! only two exceptions i would say culture - in some cultures many asian ones is accepte the guy be with his parents til marriage circumstances - if they move home to take care of a parent. etc. even then he shoudl be able financially and emotionally to be on his own.
rlveronica rlveronica 9 years
Well, me and my boyfriend both live with our parents because I just graduated and he's about to graduate. We both have plans of moving out on our own soon, so it's not so bad. It does suck when we don't have privacy though... but we just spend those nights in hotel rooms! ;) Haha.
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
fluffyhelen I think that's a little harsh. 18 I mean c'mon?? Also I guess it would depend on my situation, to judge someone on something like that I think is very shallow of some people. I have friends who claim they never would but low and behold they dated a guy who still lived at home and these guys are were in their late 20's. It's kind of annoying but whatever, they have a way to rationalize the sudden change of heart. Like I said I think it really is shallow to base a situation on especially when there could be a handful of good reasons why he is still there.
eightieslingo eightieslingo 9 years
My husband lived with his mom and stepdad after his dad died. But he wasn't a mooch. They had two extra rooms. He had a good job and paid for his car and did his laundry and all that. I was sort of weirded out by him living there when we were first dating but I didn't have any room to talk since I was living with my dad while going to school. A few months later he moved into his own apartment, and I didn't even have to push him into it. Maybe he just needed a reason to move out, and I was it.
pinky5 pinky5 9 years
I think it all depends on the situation. When I first started dating my current boyfriend I had a townhouse with some friends and my sister (we were all and i still am in college) and he lived with his parents. I was a little turned off about this at first, but then I realized he wasn't mooching, he is just saving money for the future, and a house eventually. A year and a half later, he is still living with his now divorced dad and I am now living with them to save money for grad school while i finish up my last year of undergrad. Yeah it annoys me a little that we don't have our own place and hopefully we'll have money to get one by the end of the year. But I don't think people should be quick to judge a guy just for living at home, If I would have done that I could have passed up being with the most amazing guy.
remedios remedios 9 years
It depends. I'd moved back in with my parents for a few years even though I was completely capable of living on my own. I moved in because my mom just didn't see any reason and figured I could save up money for my next plan (which at the time was to go to grad school at NYU, but that changed). My mom thought it was stupid for me to pay for a place to rent. She thinks the same for my brother, since he's out at sea half the year, but he's paranoid of the perception others have that he'd be mooching so he bought a condo that sits empty half the year. I do see how it can be a problem in a relationship, but you can just hang out elsewhere. My then boyfriend and I would spend more time at his place than mine.
rickimc rickimc 9 years
My boyfriend and I both live with our parents (respectively) and probably won't move out until we are married. We both have decent jobs, but feel that living at home is helping us save so when we do move out, we will have the savings to start the kind of life we want. (It also helps that we are both only children, so our parents aren't that keen on us moving out). Also, all of our friends who are unmarried live at home with their parents.
i think it depends on the reasons why he lives at home. if there are some circumstances I would consider it. i had a friend that had to move back in with his parents because he was in a costly custody battle. that is an acceptable reason.
mlen mlen 9 years
lintacious- i live in Jersey and i know what you mean! even getting a roommate still equals a high rent cost!
mgmhmj mgmhmj 9 years
Speaking from experience, since both my fiance and I live with our parents, it depends on the circumstances. Can each of us afford to live on our own? Of course. We both have good, solid jobs. But I moved back home when my lease ended a month before I graduated last year because I didn't really know what I wanted to do, then we got engaged so it seemed kinda dumb to NOT save money when I have that option. For him, it's been just him and his mom his whole life, he pays half of the bills, and is now in a position where we're going to be able to put $25K towards a down payment on building a house. So I don't think either of us is a "moocher" but in our cases, it's put us in a much more solid position to build our future without causing a burden on anyone else - my parents absolutely love having me here, and his mom isn't going to know what to do once she's by herself.
reeeeka reeeeka 9 years
I don't think it's a horribly bad thing. I mean if the person is jobless and does nothing and expects everything then I guess that's bad but some people go to school or are working jobs that don't necessarily pay enough to afford their own place. If you live in a place like I do someone in their 20's just starting out can't really afford a place, car, bills, and a life on a minimum wage job and attending school. A studio apartment goes for over $1200+ a month depending on the area.
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