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Where Do You Stand? Hanging With Her and Her Boyfriend

Admittedly, I haven’t always been the biggest fan of all my friends’ boyfriends, but even when I think they’re especially great guys, I still love spending time with just my friend. Of course, I’m happy to oblige a couple hangouts now and then, but in the end, I prefer time with my friends alone. I suppose it’s all about a healthy balance, but where do you stand in terms of spending time with your friends’ significant others? Are you just as happy to be with her and her boyfriend as you are to be with just her?


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JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 8 years
I don't mind hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends as long as my husband is there but I feel a little weird if he isn't. As long as the guy is nice I don't really mind hanging out with them together. I hate my Mom's bf so I'd prefer not to hang out with the two of them but that is what always happens.
richkidblues richkidblues 8 years
It depends, my best friend and her boyfriend have been together for about 4 years and I have known him since i was quite young so being around them is fine. It all depends on how my friend acts around her boyfriend. My best friends boyfriend will usually give us our space when we hang out so its nice to have my friend around. My other girlfriend goes completely MIA whenever she has a boyfriend. She hardly ever comes and hangs out and bails early to go home to him. Sometimes its hard because there are things I want to talk to her about without him being around to hear. I guess it all depends. When I have a boyfriend I try to split my time almost equally, there are times when I just want to be with him but obviously i need my girlfriends around for support.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
it can really be awkward if you are always with the person's boyfriend and then you're the third wheel. one of my biggest pet peeves in friendships are when people don't put their friend first. i can understand wanting to spend a lot of time with your boyfriend, but there's something to be said about taking time for yourself to be with your friends... i would probably say something to your friend and mention that you'd love to have some time with just her and maybe it's just a matter of planning some 'girlie' stuff so she remembers how much fun it is to just be with the girls. i know that i like to have my fiance with me when i go out - but sometimes there's a time and place for it to be a girls only thing and he can stay home or go out and do his own thing.
lattegoodness lattegoodness 8 years
Oh GOD, do I have an input on this! So earlier this year I went out to see my bff because she lives so far away from me. We've been best friends since like 4th grade, but we rarely get to see one another nowadays because she lives so far away and our work schedules always conflict. Well everything was fine as far as me visiting, and she was living with her bf at the time. I didn't have a problem with it/him, if he treated her well, and was a good guy, I was happy for her. I just wanted at least one day with her for just a one-on-one girl gab session and she agreed to it before I even came up there. Go up there and it's like they are always being all lovey dovey AND she ends up not hanging out with me alone at all (other than the brief time he's at work, most of which is spent sleeping or driving somewhere). I was utterly miserable because I felt like a 3rd wheel, plus I was PMSing. I even confronted her about it and how she promised me before I went up that we'd get to hang out alone and she told me that she talked to her bf and he had gotten upset because he wouldn't get to see her as much as he wanted. So she caved. Keep in mind they freaking live together, though granted their work schedules make it so that they don't see eachother as often as most other couples that do. Meanwhile, I live thousands of miles away and had last seen her 6 months prior. I was so hurt by it, I can't even explain it in words. So anyway, after the trip, she apologized and said she felt bad and how she was trying to appease both of us. Bottom line though? I am NEVER going to visit her again unless I have MY S.O. with me as well. That is an experience I will never relive. :( I still don't even think she realizes how much she hurt me by doing that... So hangin with just her and her boyfriend? That's a big fat NO! :oy:
cravinsugar cravinsugar 8 years
I have a finace. but we have our own friends, and it IRKS me to no end when I try to schedule time with me friends who have SO's and they automatically include them in our plans. I am with you dear! it's about having a healthy balance!
sonya-ina sonya-ina 8 years
Before I started dating my now husband, I was always the 3rd wheel with 1 friend in particular, and I didn't mind. Sure, at times I was a little envious, but overall I always had a good time with them, and I was thankful my friend didn't ditch me for her boyfriend completely.
seraphimm seraphimm 8 years
wow i forgot the POINT of my comment related to the topic! geez. one friend of mine wanted to meet with some of our friends and I, and she specifically told me "don't bring your boyfriend". Supposedly because she didn't have one and didn't want to feel left out? I was very hurt though, because I wanted them to get to know each other better. I used to like hanging out with 2 friends that were a couple, but it recently became really awkward and I always try to avoid that situation. It's just that we could be laughing about something one second, and they're kissing each other. I'd rather have someone else there to roll my eyes with! So.. no go on the third wheel thing. It's awkward for me.
seraphimm seraphimm 8 years
oops... I'm guilty of that :( (above comment) my friends keep telling me I cut them off whenever I get a boyfriend. I'm not doing anything intentional so it's really getting to me. Both my boyfriend and I have discussed how much less time we spend with our friends now that we're always together alone. And it's probably pissing our friends off or they're drifting away... I've been trying really hard to hang out with just my girlfriends, but we are all so busy now that we have significant others! And the viscious cycle continues....
italianblonde italianblonde 8 years
I don't want to hang out with my friend and her boyfriend EVERYTIME I see her. But one of my friends has become less of a friend because of her latest guy. She kind of cut us all off just to spend time with him and whenever we invite her anywhere, she just automatically brings him. That would be okay, if they didn't ignore us when they showed up. They either just talk to each other or make out the whole time. It's just annoying. I do like to hang out with my friends' boyfriends to get to know them, but all things in moderation!
sundaygreen sundaygreen 8 years
I prefer just hanging with my friend if it's supposed to be one on one time (ie: going for coffee / lunch)
lovelybritty84 lovelybritty84 8 years
It all depends on who they're dating in my opinion. My closest guy friend always picks the worst girls to date: he's super nice and they always take advantage of that by cheating on him. I just can't stomach being around the girls he dates. I usually give them one chance and if I see or hear anything bad about them (from him), I'll just let him figure it out for himself. And because I have a boyfriend, I think it's important for your friends to know your boyfriend. Not saying that they have to be close or anything, but they should at least be able to get along. However, I don't like making my friends feel awkward around me and my guy, since he's really affectionate towards me. I need my alone time with my friends and my boyfriend.
HeidiMD HeidiMD 8 years
I don't mind hanging out with my friends' significant others, but I do want to hang out with just my friend sometimes, too. I think it's important that I get to know the people who are most important to my friends (and vice versa). However, being a relationship doesn't mean you have to or should be with the other person constantly.
MisterPinkNoTip MisterPinkNoTip 8 years
I like hanging out with my friends and their boyfriends. My two best friends have awesome guys.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
I would rather usually just be with my friends alone. Other than that it depends on how my friend and their S.O. act, some are very good at integrating other people into the activity, and some always seem like they are in their own little world, oblivious to everyone around them.
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