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Where Do You Stand: Kid-Free Weddings

Earlier this week, Broke Bride Brooke was put in an awkward situation when one of her guests asked if she could bring her parents to Brooke's small wedding to care for the guest's 2-year-old child. This created quite a dilemma because the bride really can't afford to have them there, which is why I (semi-jokingly) thought TidalWave's suggestion of making it a kid-free wedding was a pretty good one! Now I've never received an "adult only" wedding invitation, and while part of me thinks it makes sense, another part of me thinks it's pretty tacky. I agree that there's a time and a place for kids to be present, but what about those who can't afford a sitter, or new mothers who are still breastfeeding? I think kids bring a fun element to any occasion, but where do you stand on kid-free weddings?

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dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
I think a wedding without kids sounds really boring. I like children at weddings. Lady Diana graciously invited children at her wedding, so follow the leader. If you have any family coming in from out of town with kids you have to take that into consideration. Let the kids come. They are usually dressed up so nice, sometimes boys in a little tiny tux or girls with little bows in their hair. Maybe one can be a ring bearer or flower girl. They usually act like little angels and later dance the night away in thier little outfits. I never saw a kid bored at a wedding before. I've never heard a baby scream at a ceremony before. If the parents have half a brain they'll take care of the situation. You'll be surprised and see they'll have more energy and life than the adults there. Haven't you ever seen a little girl walk up to the bride in wonderment and ask is she is a princess? To each his own but you'll miss out on some really great moments.
grammabride grammabride 8 years
My fiancee and I are getting married soon, he is a widower and I am divorced for many years, to be honest, we are seniors! For a variety of reasons, this is for us a joyful but also a thoughtful and solemn occasion. No children were invited to the ceremony, or to the very formal sit down dinner later in the evening. We were limited as to the number of people we could have in this venue, and had made difficult choices relative to our adult friends. However, at least three children are coming, we have been informed. They are aged 3 4 and 6, two different families. We are having a cocktail hour, formal 5 course dinner, in the nicest restaurant in town, with a singer, open bar, gourmet dinner, dimly lit with a spectacular city view. Our venue is open to the rest of this delightful restaurant, where most come once in a lifetime for a very special night out. I have never seen two of these children eat anything except blueberries, and my fiancee tells me that the other can't be taken out to a restaurant by his family due to his unruly behavior. I am praying for the serenity to handle this, and I am sure I will be able to, but to me it is the height of rudeness and disrespect. We can not uninvite either of these families without long term negative consequences. Think twice before bringing your uninvited children to anyone's wedding. Thank you for listening.
shebagrl shebagrl 8 years
As a guest of the bride & groom, I would go with where they stand, knowing that they had reasons for coming to that decision. Personally, I don't really want kids at my wedding reception (Friday evening cocktails), but am still on the fence on how to proceed without offending the parents.
missyd missyd 9 years
I dont want kids at my wedding. I'm not a big kid fan.
sassy_chick sassy_chick 9 years
We're going kid free-- his 10 nieces and nephews will attend the ceremony but not the reception. The reception is a party, and you wouldn't take your toddler to a regular party where alcohol is being served and there is a formal dinner. It just doesn't make sense. I'm glad most people agree with me.
cherrylistic cherrylistic 9 years
I think NO KIDS on Your invite is rude mt boyfriends family does this to their wedding and I would not do that for my wedding you put your guest in an uncomfortable position i think.
sparkle9152 sparkle9152 9 years
I am going to address the invitations to just the adults and see how it goes. If people call and ask if little Johnny is invited, I will tell them that they should use their own discretion. The reception is in a museum and there will be artwork within hands reach.
techgirl20 techgirl20 9 years
I have never known a wedding without having kids there. But I do think that a night among adults is great. You can usually just send out invitations to couples. If you're sending it to 1 person, they can RSVP with 1 guest. Also making it a Black Tie Affair is one of the best ways to make it adults only.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
there were 250 + people at her wedding, she (gloria) was no where near the cake when it happen, nor can she keep up with all the guest. but i hear what you're saying. it wasn't about the money she spent on the cake ($3000 bucks is like $5 to her), it was the fact that she spent a lot of time (i should know, i was there) planning the design of the cake and what not, and it was her big day. there was an attendent near the table with the cake on it, but apparently they dropped the ball.
Gossamer Gossamer 9 years
I'm Arabic so kid free weddings are the norm. Everybody has like four-five children and it can be a mess. That being said often times we provide parents with babysitting at the hall in another room with a couple sitters and a movie. Its not that expensive and you don't have to buy them meals, chicken nuggets do just fine. This works for moms of five-six year olds but of course some people complain. you can't make everyone happy so as the bride and groom i think you should focus on making yourself happy even if that means being called rude. My uncle actually had a wedding with children and we regretted it so much. We had to pay adult size prices at the hall for their meals and it was loud, and the dance floor was covered with children.
gossipqueen gossipqueen 9 years
and definitely ... the middle of your wedding vows is NOT the right place to "enjoy" the miracles of childhood!!!! Oy! :oy:
gossipqueen gossipqueen 9 years
NO KIDS...if you're breastfeeding there's actually something called BREAST PUMPS...go figure! Whatever the couple wants is THEIR day not little sussy's or timmy's.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
Ok, so some kids are well-behaved... but not every kid!! And those not well-behaved kids happen to belong to my cousin so yeah we just might have a kid-free wedding. I'm not even sure I want to invite my cousin! I want to have a flower-girl and two ring-bearers and they will be my 2 nephews and my s/o's cousin, but I think those are going to be the only children. (possibly a jr bridesmaid and jr ushers tho b/c of my step-niece and step-nephews) I've thought about not blatantly putting it on the invites, but what happens when you encounter a couple who don't know the rules of invites (that only the people on the invitation are invited) and decide to bring along their kids? I may just have a 21 and older wedding b/c everyone I know (besides my sister) is older than that!
Katzilla Katzilla 9 years
Just two years ago my father re-married and had a 'kid-free' wedding. No child under the age of 12 was allowed at the reception unless they were in the wedding party (there was a 8 year old girl, the flower girl). They made it very clear in the invitation and nobody objected. Then again, there was no open bar and the dollar dance was just kool-aid. But it was a very fun, kid-free night! I plan for my wedding to be kid free as well, excluding the wedding party. Although I am willing to say 10 and up.
Kimpossible Kimpossible 9 years
cake insurance - it's a good thing ;-) especially for a 3,000.00 cake. I never even knew there was such a thing until just recently and man I'd pay for it that's for sure! I am sorry that happened to her. A thought did just come to me though - if the children were being wild and as in this case the parents are freakin oblivious, then the bride or groom or a trusted family member or bridal party member could have gotten the parents and asked them to take care of the children... I'm not saying that this was the brides fault at all, I'm just thinking of ways to avoid such things in the future (not that it will help your friend Gloria unfortunately, but it could help other brides and grooms). and even suggest to other brides and grooms to have such a plan in place should children get out of hand.. have a designated person to get the parents involved. I certainly don't condemn anyone for not wanting children at their wedding - it's their wedding they can have whoever they want there and not invite anyone they don't want. It's definitely a personal choice.
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
children are the future . .. ha! say that when your wedding cake gets knocked over! one of my good friends is sitting here with me, and she reminded me about her wedding a few years ago; there were two little boys (like 9-11) and they were bored, so they decided to play Smack-Down. knocked over Gloria's (the bride) $3,000 cake! it WAS a beautiful cake. Gloria cried and Jason (the groom) was PISSSED! the kid's mothers were on the other end of the reception hall and one outside chit-chattin'. they said "sorry" like 5 million times. i can't repeat what Gloria is saying right now . . .she's still pissed! (sad face)
Hootie Hootie 9 years
I think it's fine as long as they are not pissed at people for not coming! I'm invited to a formal wedding next month, no kids allowed. I will not be attending. I'm going to a birthday party instead. These are the same people that showed up to my baby sisters formal wedding in jeans and baseball hats! They also brought extra guests that were not invited! The nerve! :rotfl:
Asia84 Asia84 9 years
Kenzie baby: go hug some trees! if you get hung up on what i say, then you're gonna explode. it ain't THAT serious. anyways, the reason why i say NO KIDS, is because NOT EVERYBODY's kids are good kids. most of my friends how have children who ARE well behaved, but there are a few people i know (who would be potential guest) who have BAD A*S KIDS!!! i think it would be wrong to let Mary bring her daughter, but ban my cousin Tiffany's son (his little a*s is BAD- trust me when i say this). so in order to be fair, no kids at all. i'm not asking you to beat them or something. if you can't get a sitter or you have no inclination towards using a breast pump, then fine. i wouldn't even be mad. the only people i would really be all thirsty about being at my wedding is my mother, the groom and my best friend. i'm only throwing a big bash because i'm a selfish, narcissistic b*tch who wants to stuff all of my friends and family with cake and premium liquor. GOSH! (lol)
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
Here's another thing I don't want to see at my wedding, but have had the pleasure of experiencing at every wedding: 16 year-old blossoming girls wearing what appears to be a BIKINI to the wedding. WOW, girls, this is MY night. If you want to look like a stripper, take it down to the street corner.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
Sorry, no kids. I would even go so far as to say 21+. I've been to weddings/receptions where kids who were 12-20 tried to get in on the open bar, have had to deal with kids whining to their parents to let them drink and saw them hanging around the bar with begging eyes. I mean, the little kids just ran around pulling things down and crying...The tweens and teens were obnoxious during speeches and throughout the entire occasion. NO THANK YOU! I'm willing to pay for a baby-sitter!
LadyP LadyP 9 years
If the bride and groom want a kid free wedding, then go for it!
cubadog cubadog 9 years
Whatever the bride and groom want. My wedding and reception will definitely be kids free. I am willing to provide sitters at a hotel or something but I do not want them at the ceremony or reception! Our party our rules!
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