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Where Do You Stand: Mixing Friends With Family

I just finished Love the One You're With, the book I suggested for my June Must-Haves, and it was every bit as good as I expected! It's a story about a woman who marries her best friend's brother — what some might call a perfect situation. Without giving away the ending, I think it's pretty obvious to assume that mixing your family with your friends isn't always as simple as it sounds.

I've actually had a good girlfriend date my brother and luckily it didn't create much drama, it was more comical than anything else, but I don't know how I'd feel if something really came of it. As selfish as it may sound, I like to keep those relationships separate, you know, just in case things get sour. So where do you stand on your friends dating your siblings? Has it ever happened to you? If not, how would you feel if it did?


dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
Oh the tangled web we can weave. Last year it happened close friend friend of mine. She had a single friend who dated her brother. It didn't work out very well. My friend got caught in the middle of it between the two. The girlfriend more or less just considered it a casual experience while her brother's feelings were hurt. My friend was compelled to side with her brother and ended her friendship. It revealed the extra complications in these types of relationships. I think the girlfriend should have thought twice about the circumstances but she couldn't see beyond her nose and her beer glass at the time. It's always nice to read about the ones who succeeded though.
Linny Linny 9 years
my mom dated and married her best friend's brother. 30 years later it's still good.
melaniestylereflection melaniestylereflection 9 years
I have been looking for that book everywhere and cannot seem to find it!! I've checked Target, Half Price Books, Barnes & Noble and no one has it. Any suggestions?
emalove emalove 9 years
One of my friends in high school wanted to date my sister, but I said no way! It just seemed like a disaster waiting to happen...
Marci Marci 9 years
I never liked it when my friends dated my brothers. It never worked out with any of them, which I knew it wouldn't, and then things were awkward after that.
northofantastic northofantastic 9 years
I'm currently dating my best guy friend's brother (which he encouraged me to do). It hasn't changed our relationship too much, but I'll admit, I sometimes have trouble convincing him that he's not being a third wheel when we all hang out together. We both make an effort though to respect both relationships and nothing has been weird for us. I consider myself very lucky.
millarci millarci 9 years
First of all, that was an excellent book. If you haven't read it yet, please do! Secondly, I think my friends dating my siblings has potential disaster problems just around the corner. However, I would not stand in their way.
klasiklove klasiklove 9 years
I don't see any problem with it at all. Actually it is my situation right now. I am dating one of my best friend's brothers. He is only a year older than her, so they have a pretty close relationship. I was actually friends with her first before I ever even met him while at college, but then things fell into place and I met him, we hit it off and have been dating 15 months now. I found it was a lot easier to meet his family since I already knew most of them since I was friends with his sister first (not that I even planned it that way). Its actually sort of funny, when he is introducing me to new family members, his sister chimes in and says "I knew her first, she was my friend first!" but all in a joking fun way. No problems thus far. No drama. However, it does seem there are some things I would like to tell her about our relationship, but I can't, just because she is his sister... so I just have to go to other friends with that private info and girl talk. I think its fine, unless as some posted above me, that if someone is using their friend, only to get to their friend's sibling.. that'd be a no no. obviously.
zabrow zabrow 9 years
my brother & one of my closest friends are starting to date right now & for some reason it bothers me, which i didn't think it would. i just get skeeved out when they gush about each other to me & i'm not sure why!
lolababy575 lolababy575 9 years
My brother and I are only about 2 years apart and have always gone to the same schools, so as you can imagine, I've dealt with this a lot. My brother never had a problem about me dating his friends (I was too busy to date and hated his friends) but my brother always thought my friends were cute. It was awkward to see some of my friends coming out of his room when I didn't even know they were over at our house. And now sometimes the girls that he goes out with try to get an in with him through me, which I'm not a fan of.
Kelliegrl Kelliegrl 9 years
I saw someone reading this book this morning on the subway. she said it's fab!
sass317 sass317 9 years
Ech- NO! When I was younger I had a friend with a serious crush on my brother, after awhile she only came over to my house if she knew he was going to be there- She would actually ask me if he was there and if I said no she wouldnt come over. Then a few years later another friend actually dated my brother and I hated it. She would go out with him (which was fine) but also when she would come over to hang out with me she would always end up disappearing back into his room and I wouldnt see her again. It actually ruined our friendship. I dont know if thing would be different now that we are adults, but I think it would still be a little weird. My brother already has a tendency to overshare, the last thing I was is knowing intimate details of my brother with my friend.
Sporky Sporky 9 years
I lost a friendship when I dated her older brother and we broke up. Lesson learned.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
I think I'd be ok with it. skigurl - is that the order Emily Giffin's books go in? I've always wanted to read them and I am going to this summer, but I need to start with the right one! ;)
jopperma jopperma 9 years
I love Emily Giffin's books... I cannot put them down once I start reading them!
skigurl skigurl 9 years
i'd be okay with it, if my siblings weren't way younger than me (well, not way younger, but too young for my friends!) but speaking of emily giffin, i'm obsessed with her other 3 books (something borrowed, something blue, and baby proof)...i need to read this one! i can't wait!
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