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Where Do You Stand: Past Relationships

Sayings like "things happen for a reason" and "your past makes you who you are today" can feel like a bunch of BS when you're suffering a broken heart. I know I've said that I wished I had never met an ex-boyfriend before, but when I really think about it, I don't mean it. Each relationship I've been in really has help shape the person I am and at the very least, made me a better girlfriend in a new relationship. Yes, I've had bad breakups, and yes, I've been hurt, but I don't regret any of it. What about you? Have you ever looked back on a past relationship and honestly felt it was a complete waste of time?


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cbaby28 cbaby28 8 years
yeah i think i could say that at least one was a complete waste of time.
pink_magnetism pink_magnetism 9 years
As much as sometimes I might like to wish I'd never met someone, all of my experiences make me who I am, so I don't think anyone would ever be a complete waste of time.
murdock99tx murdock99tx 9 years
I don't think any of them were "fate" or "for a reason." I think your life is what you make of it. I had a REALLY unhealthy relationship that I got out of, and for a while thought I wasted some years. Later I realized that had I not hit "rock bottom", I wouldn't have been compelled to study some stff & figure out a few things -- I subsequently worked my a*s off to fix - or DUMP - those aspects of my life. So some good came of it.
lindholmka lindholmka 9 years
Before I met my last ex-boyfriend I was completely independent and confident and he suddenly broke up with me almost a year ago. For the past year my confidence has been shattered, and my independence is almost non-existent. I had to buy a dog because I hated being a lone in my empty apartment. The relationship did nothing but throw me down into a deep dark hole that I've been trying to pick my self back up from this entire YEAR!! Not only did I waste my time on the relationship it's been a total waste of time this past year trying to get over it!
saranightly saranightly 9 years
Most of my past relationships have taught me something useful... Although most of them were okay people, we weren't right for each other. The best part is, all of them have shown me how wonderful my current boyfriend is! I'm glad I had the 6 or so years experience of dating a few "not meant for me" guys before meeting someone truly special :)
emalove emalove 9 years
Maybe some of the guys I dated more casually and just ended up causing me trouble. But before I met my husband, I had two very long-term relationships (one about 4 years, the other for 6 years). They definitely weren't the best relationships for me, but as tough as they were, they taught me a lot and helped me figure out what I wanted/needed in my future relationships. You have to be in the dark to see the light, right?!
MissChita MissChita 9 years
I would have to say that any past relationship has not been a waste of time. At one point, I may have thought that some of them were, but really they werent. I learned from each other them. I think a lot of them have helped me (in a sense) grow as a woman, and also to be a better mate (although I was hurt and used in some, I wasnt the perfect mate). I think any experience that comes in my life is there to shape me in one way or another. It just depends on what lesson I take from each one in the end...
aimeeb aimeeb 9 years
Not really...there might of been a casual guy here and there that I feel that way about but my past significant boyfriends no.
FoxyJo FoxyJo 9 years
I don't regret any of my past relationships the first time's when I was dumb and gave them a second chance that I regret! But, I definitely wouldn't be the woman I am today if I hadn't got my heart broken or cheated I KNOW I can survive no matter what!! ~JO~
designerel designerel 9 years
There have been a couple of relationships that I think to myself, OMG what the hell was I thinking?! But each of them has helped shape me, so I have no regrets.
WiCkeD_LaDy WiCkeD_LaDy 9 years
i don't regret any of my past, especially for relationships, but one of them after 3 years i just feel bad, for being with him, and i still do, but after all only with him.
tomatoshirt tomatoshirt 9 years
Some of my past relationships are just ... ewww ... I regret 100%, waste of time for sure. But then I was in high school, I didn't know better.
Swen Swen 9 years
I've never felt like a relationship was a complete waste of time. I think as long as you learn something from it to help you with future relationships, it's a good thing. I'm definitely not one of those people who have no regrets though. If I could redo things, I'd do them differently. I have bad feelings toward my ex, and sometimes I wish I had broken up with him sooner, but if I really think about the way things would have gone in that case, I most likely wouldn't be with the person I am with now. So while I wasn't making the best decision at the time, it did lead to something good.
JessiShaye JessiShaye 9 years
I'd totally love to forget my last relationship. Biggest waste of time and I don't think anything in this life is a waste of time. Oh well, other than that I'm definitely an "everything happens for a reason" kinda girl.
heineken67 heineken67 9 years
I'm usually an "everything happens for a reason" kind of person, but there are a couple of brief flings from high school that I would love to forget.
bsglrok132 bsglrok132 9 years
I've only had a couple of relationships, but even the stupid, dramatic junior high one I had taught me something. And with each new relationship I've had, I've slowly forgotten the details of the old ones and only taken the lessons. I give my old relationships credit for the fantastic one I have now, with my husband :)
Sydney-C Sydney-C 9 years
Ditto Le Luxe - I feel exactly the same way, and although it was hard to have that mentality at the time, that reasoning has proven itself true in my life again and again!
Lilith1 Lilith1 9 years
I agree with the idea that everything that happens in our life has a reason, something we must learn for our personal growth... I have managed to be civil with my exes, but I just broke up sunday with whom I thought was the love of my life and I feel miserable... Currently I'm at the stage where I don't know if it'll be for the best or not... :(
vmruby vmruby 9 years
Most of my relationships were long term and no,I don't think any one of them were a waste of my time.
Le-Luxe Le-Luxe 9 years
I am such a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. We might not know until tomorrow or even 20 years from now, but everything in life is a lesson or shapes us in different ways. With that said I don't regret any of my past relationships. Even though some were stupid, but I can honestly say that I learned at least SOMETHING from every one of them.
bbkf bbkf 9 years
I don't believe that everything happens for a reason, but I don't think that any of my relationships have been a waste of time. They've all be great, actually.
linb linb 9 years
I fall under the "everything happens for a reason" category. Even my worst experiences in life have lead me to be a better person and pushed me to change or improve myself. I can't say I regret anything that I have done, or anything that has happened to me.
My-Opinion My-Opinion 9 years
I've looked back to everyone of my past 'relationships' and know they were mistakes. Not the relationship with my sons dad though., we were just better off as friends but everyone else...swept clean from my mind.
javsmav javsmav 9 years
I learned a lot from the relationship that ended with the biggest heartbreak, but I still regret it. It still hurts and made me totally cynical. Sure I love my current boyfriend, we've been together over 2 years with hardly any problems, but the main lesson I learned from my other relationship is that at any moment my boyfriend could leave. I'd be a fool to ever trust anyone again.
bengalspice bengalspice 9 years
i regret a lot of my past relationships. they've made me more cynical, which i hate to be at a young age.
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