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Where Do You Stand? Taking a Break in the Beginning of a Relationship

Most of you think taking breaks in a relationship is a good thing (if need be) but when I heard a friend of mine tell me she wanted to take a break from her long-distance boyfriend after only a month of dating, I couldn't help but think, what's the point?

The beginning of a relationship is usually the best part — who doesn't love those butterflies in your stomach? — so do you think taking a break during that time is just a buffer before ending the relationship for good? Or do you think a break is a good thing no matter when it's taken?


Join The Conversation
dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
I agree with simplyfad. A month and someone wants a break? That's not a break, that's an eye blink. I had that happen before. I gave him two weeks. After two weeks I gave him all the space he could ever need. Then I met someone else. My feeling was of he was willing to gamble me, then I didn't mean that much to him.
aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
I had a bit of a break a few months into my current relationship, mind you it's been 5 yrs since. In the beginning I was a little wild and in trying to settle down wasn't sure he and I were on the same page, but it ended up working out. I think depending on "why" you might need some "you" time is the real deal breaker. I think some things a couple should just learn to work through and others a person might just need some personal time.
Miss-Senorita Miss-Senorita 8 years
Not a good sign. If she taking a break now surely it won't get no better.
Mojo-Jojo Mojo-Jojo 8 years
Maybe your friend met someone else, is rethinking the whole relationship thing and wants to "take a break so they can explore the other possible relationship without cheating. That happened to me. I broke up with a guy after a few weeks because I had a crush on someone else. The attraction with the other fizzled while I still had feelings with the first guy. We got back together, so it was like taking a little break. Maybe there is more to it than the relationship your friend is seeking a break from
Spectra Spectra 8 years
I never saw the point in taking a break during a relationship. The very concept of a relationship is that you are connected with each other, good or bad. If you already know that you can't deal with your partner's quirks and annoyances after a month, I'd seriously question whether the relationship itself is even a good idea. I just know that after a month of dating my husband, I already knew that I wanted to stay with him for a long time. Sure, we were still in the honeymoon phase, but it was long enough to know that I wanted things to continue.
GScott86 GScott86 8 years
If you can't handle being in a relationship, then get into one, really the whole thing is just overrated. If you can't handle working together with another person, then be a lonestar forever, don't make friends k?
simplyfab87 simplyfab87 8 years
A break after a month is stupid. Why not break up already? What kind of investment do they have in a relationship after just a month.
dm8bri dm8bri 8 years
A "break" after only a month of dating is code for a "break-up". I can see breaks as a good thing if the people involved need to prioritize and figure things out w/o jeopordizing the relationship. I would hope those wouldn't happen until after quite a bit of time had passed.
pippins_halfling pippins_halfling 8 years
After a month, and you need a break, you should just break things off permanently... If it's not working after a month, it never will.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
I agree, some relationships progress faster or slower depending on the people. they can be serious at one month. But still, if you want to take a break after one month, obviously there is an issue. I considered my BF my BF the DAY he asked me out. He did the same thing. We only knew each other for a little while -- 2 months or something before dating. We moved in together after 9 months, We've been together 2 years now. We moved fast...haha. We were definitely serious from the get go!
KadBunny KadBunny 8 years
Oh my. :( That can't be good. I'm inclined to think the same thing as Dear; I mean usually around that time you're still in honeymoon phase. It took me about 3 or 4 months before I saw the annoying side in my boyfriend but even then I didn't ask for a break. But when he pisses me off now and I feel like breaking up with him, every time I ask for a break I always come back to him the next morning. Always. I miss him to death, and it's like my heart instinctively knows it can only lead to a permanent break. So I wish them the best of luck. As for the line between boyfriend and "just dating"--I'm in a long distance relationship too so I know most people find it silly to even call that dating, but before my boyfriend and I went official we spent weeks and weeks mulling it over. Maybe these people were the same. It doesn't usually just happen like that (well, maybe).
Unfortunate Unfortunate 8 years
Lickety split and TidalWave, a relationship can go faster or slower depending on the people; sometimes, things really DO move that fast, and most people I know considered the person they were seeing their boyfriend or girlfriend after several dates, which generally took about two weeks or so. However, I still feel like even though it may have been a pretty intense month with them, it's hard to imagine taking a break would lead to anything but a break UP. The beginning of a relationship is always the most exciting, so if after a month it's already fizzling, it doesn't seem like there is much hope for a future.
lickety-split lickety-split 8 years
a break from what? and how is a guy you've only been seeing for a month a boyfriend? sounds like these people don't really want to be in a relationship, too much effort. so saying "we're taking a break gives them something to say when the whole relationship status thing comes up; lame. better to say "not into putting the effort forth right now".
danni2009 danni2009 8 years
If they are sick of each other after a month, it's not going to last!
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
A month isn't even a relationship. You're still just "seeing each other"/"dating" whatever. I would think that you wouldn't even be exclusive at this point so "taking a break" seems unnecessary. Just keep seeing other people and see where it goes.
miss-malone miss-malone 8 years
I agree with Chrstne and bekkachan. It can be a good way to find yourself and grow a bit on your own, or deal with other personal issues. I think in some cases it can make the relationship stronger. However, this is best after you've been together for awhile.
Rebecca14916991 Rebecca14916991 8 years
I think a break can be a good thing after you've been together for a while; it gives you time to sort things out on your own. I had one with my BF of 18 mo. for about a month and a half, and that time was crucial for us, because we needed some time to just chill separate from each other so we could get back on track and address our issues. But after a month? And it's long distance? I wouldn't have gotten into a relationship that I knew was gong to be an LDR from the get go myself, because I feel the beginning of a relationship is all about being there in person to enjoy each other. If they have to take a break this soon, it may be it just isn't working out.
Chrstne Chrstne 8 years
I think taking a break is a good way to re-evaluate what you want from your relationship and your partner. If you still want it at all. However, after a month...taking a break is just stupid, if it's not working, it's not working. It's not as if you spent a while together and just need to figure out what's going on.
skigurl skigurl 8 years
i dont think taking a break is really a good thing at any point, but certainly not after a MONTH! if things arent working out after a month, you're not in a serious relationship anyway and its not likely that it will go up from there so cut your losses and move on! in the case of Dear's friend, however, they are long distance so if the break is just to say that they really like each other and want to put their developing relationship on hold until they are in the same city (if that's in the foreseeable future) then fine (however in my case, i think i would keep my options open and see what happens when we end up in close proximity but whatever), but if it's because of PROBLEMS, well thats weird
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