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Where Do You Stand? Wrong Ring, Wrong Guy?

I recently caught a rerun of the Sex and the City episode when Aidan proposed to Carrie with a ring that made her vomit. Literally. When she met the girls to tell them all about it, Samantha used the old cliché, "wrong ring, wrong guy!" And in response to my Handle This from a few days back, Ginger Snaps expressed the same belief.

Now different people place different emphasis on engagement rings. Some opt for something minimalist, while others want a ring that's over the top, but if you don't talk about it with your significant other, there's plenty of room for error. So if you were truly surprised by a proposal, and the ring wasn't exactly what you wanted, would you think he wasn't the right guy for you after all? Where do you stand on the saying wrong ring, wrong guy?


LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 8 years
I :heart: Sex & the City. It's purely entertaining w/ a hint of truth & reality. :) I'll leave all the drama up to them. :P
dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
Yes, I agree littlemzfit! Wrong girl! It would be foolish to base a such critical decision on a ring. Sex In The City doesn't strike me as the real world at all anyway. Far from it. They take a few personalities and exaggerate it to the point of no return. Theres a few shows that seem to nail it on the head with dating, but I hope that women don't take that as true to life for dating guidance.
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 8 years
I guess what I meant to say is that it's really not the ring that is the issue here. You either have the "right one" (person) or you don't. :oops:
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 8 years
Well, in his case it was "wrong ring, wrong girl!" :rotfl:
dikke-kus dikke-kus 8 years
Wrong ring wrong guy is just a script for hollywood. I knew this girl where I worked that thought very highly of herself. She soon got engaged to this nice young doctor. However the ring was just too small and she kept complaining about it with friends over lunch. She decided to ask her fiance to pick out a new one with her at a store that she liked better. Two months later he called off the engagement. Too bad, huh. Can't say I miss the moral of the story, do you?
LittleMzFit LittleMzFit 8 years
That's a TV show! In real life: If you have the right guy, you are not going to have the wrong ring!!!
sandtown sandtown 8 years
when my husband proposed, I hated the ring! BUT, his mom and sister had picked it out. We had to return the ring, after I kept telling him that I wasn't ready for marriage yet, I was only 21 and still in college. I really hated the ring and didn't know how to tell him because I didn't want to offend his mom and sister. We picked out a new one, I picked it out! And it was one that he had originally wanted to buy! But his mom and sister had talked him into the "ugly" ring. We've been married ten years, and sometimes, the mom and sister thing are still offensive! The "family" is still intrusive at times. It may have been wrong ring/wrong guy though. I try to take it one day at a time.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
I also won't go shopping with him b/c I think it takes away the mystery, surprise and the connection element from that all.... I want someone who is able to connect with me, understand me enough to share similar perspectives in life with me. This also we share similar taste in art, designs and the appreciations of forms and shapes.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
My question is "After all is this man really that amazing if he has no taste in jewelry (to me it is an art form)?" I am not even talking about perfect ring as in the one that is an exact clone to the image in my mind. I am talking about tasteful, presentable, artsy and classic ring that most of the population will not puke over. If he isn't sure he can always ask the girls who work there and say, "hey, which are the most popular style or designer rings that are most "hot" and in "fashion" now?" To me, a ring that makes you vomit is not just a figure of speech, there are rings that literally could make a person vomit. Those rings have to be absolutely worse and commerically made without giving consideration to the art form, the movement, the arch, the height, the sparkling, the cut and the romantic sentiment behind the ring. I am a trained architect in school and I look at everything from an accute perspective and jewelry choice is an important representation of one's taste in things.
Isista Isista 8 years
Honestly, that sounds very immature. You could have an amazing man who just doesn't know what you want as far as rings go. That could easily have been fixed with a simple thing: communication! If you're that picky, talk it over with him, give him some idea of what you might want in the future.
Muirnea Muirnea 8 years
I don't think that saying is true. The guy could be perfect and just not have very good taste, or maybe you guys haven't discussed what you want well enough. The guy is more important than the ring. princess_eab: I love what you said. Omg, a ring from somewhere you guys have traveled together or just something that is important to both of you would be so amazing!!!!!!! Just something that looks simple, but has a bunch of meaning. And like you said again, an inscription that means something to you on the That is my kind of ring. :D
bebehaul24 bebehaul24 8 years
I have always said that if a guy knows me well enough to propose then he should know that i NEVER like anything that anyone else picks out for me. My fiance has bought my countless gifts that i've gone "eh" over and he now knows that he should take me shopping because i'm not that into surprises. That being said, naturally my fiance (then boyfriend) took me to look at rings after we started talking about getting engaged. we just went for fun but he got a sense of what I liked and surprised me at a seriously romantic dinner with a custom made ring. Admittedly, and i feel guilty about this, my first thought when i saw the ring was not 100% positive but that faded away verrry quickly! i absolutely love it!
Manoukia Manoukia 8 years
I was so lucky to get what I didn't expect! My husband (then: boyfriend) collaborated with my mom behind my back for the design of the ring. He didn't know that a former classmate had become a jeweler/goldsmith but mom introduced him to that guy who has known me for such a long time. The ring is as special and unique as is DH. ... and they lived happily ever after. The End.
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
It's only material. You need to evaluate the whole situation first.
atlasburped atlasburped 8 years
i would have no problem swapping his ring for one that i want....if you feel this guys is the right one, you shouldn't have any hesitations about telling him that you don't like the ring...its just a promise/engagement RING...the one that REALLY matters is the one when you say "I do." maybe you don't see it now...but wait a bit you'll realize that the wedding ring is so much more sentimental.
Colleeninator Colleeninator 8 years
I agree wholeheartedly with Mesayme. Now, there's an extent. There's a big difference between simply not being in love with a ring, and hating it. If a guy gets you a ring that you HATE then he obviously hasn't been paying attention to your tastes at all. If you simply don't adore it, but are okay with it, that could easily be written off as him not being able to capture tiny nuances of jewelry. I don't expect men to understand jewelry, but I do expect them to understand ME. If they have no idea what you like, then that might be an indication that you need some more time to work on the relationship, even if it just means getting to know each other better.
ilanac13 ilanac13 8 years
i got the right ring, but i also kind of hinted at what i wanted - and i know that if i didn't then he woudln't have gotten me a shape that i liked. i think that if you're not having the conversation with your man about what kind of ring you want, there's a HIGH probability that you're not going to get what you want since engagement rings aren't the typical shape of jewelry that you talk about all the time. i think that it's fair to mention that you really love the thought and effort behind the ring but really don't care for the shape at some point down the road and then hopefully you can trade it in for something that you do like.
bonbonagogo bonbonagogo 8 years
I experienced right ring, wrong guy! Next time, I don't care if I get a diamond chip in a piece of tin doesn't matter. I just want a good, solid relationship. The little things (ring, wedding, honeymoon) don't matter at all if the relationship isn't right. My ex-fiance used my great grandmother's diamond in a setting he chose. I loved that ring. It meant more to me than anything to have a family heirloom. He hated when I would tell anyone that it was my great-grandmother's flag right there!!!
Mesayme Mesayme 8 years
He should know you well enough to know what ring suits you. But then I think of the wedding as the celebration of a marriage; not the start of a marriage. He should buy what he can afford in the first place and pay attention to the jewelry you already wear. For example, I don't wear a single piece of jewelry unless it's very small earrings when I'm going out. Why on earth would a man buy me some big, huge-mongous yellow gold ring with clustered diamonds a nickle-wide? It should be an accent to adorn your personality and if he's horribly wrong...that means he doesn't know your tastes very well. And if you have your heart set on a certain ring...pick it out with him. Like you would a house, a car, have a say in dinner right?
KadBunny KadBunny 8 years
I think it makes women worry because if the man proposes to you then it can only be assumed you've been dating forever, and he should know enough about you to know what you'd like, right? (Well maybe.. guys are helpless when it comes to this stuff. :P) But I love him and even if the ring sucked a tiny piece of jewelry wouldn't make me question our (so far) 2 year and 3-month relationship. If anything I wouldn't have thought about it at all until I saw that episode. It was like "Wow IS it something I should worry about?"
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
Because you are willing to spend on yourself and other people, when others are being cheap on an item as important as the engagement ring, it makes you feel that you are relatively unimportant in their eyes. Granted that he also spends a lot on himself but little on the designs or the value of the ring. It is a completely different story if he spends little on himself and is also being theift on everyone else. When you are into vanity, is that wrong? everyone has their right to choose their own lifestyles and know internally how one's needs can be fulfilled. Do you have to change yourself and give up what makes you feel good only to be socially accepted or be part of a circle? I hope your life partner would know you enough in the course of dating and open discussion what you want in life and what makes you happy. If he cares about you enough to pay attentions to your preference, it shows that he respects you for who you are regardless of his own preferences. Engagement rings generally mean much more to the women receiving and wearing it on a daily basis than it is for men.
K-is-For-Kait K-is-For-Kait 8 years
Blaming a guy for not understand jewelry is just silly. How shallow do you have to be to assume that a bad choice of jewelry constitutes a nullification of love and committment? That's way too dramatic for me. Plus, would it be so horrible to ask the guy about returning it and getting another ring? As long as you said yes to the marriage proposal beforehand, I don't see this being a huge deal.
babysoftpink babysoftpink 8 years
What does it mean when you draw out every detail of the ring on a piece of paper but he went out and got you that is not in the drawing? I know the value of the ring should not matter but what if what it is in your personality that you are willing to spend lots of money on yourself and you love vanity - like big and over the board rings and jewelries. If the guy despite vanity and criterize you for being vain. Then perhaps the two people's values are just so fundamentally different that perhaps they really don't belong together. I have someone told me to my face that I am too into vanity and I guess we could never be that kind of friends with one another. With the two people's values so fundamentally differnt, rather than labelling one being right and the other being wrong, they just need to pursue different things in life and fulfill their own needs. Afterall, your own values must be fulfilled before fulfilling any other people's or fulfilling needs joinly together
HariboLicorice HariboLicorice 8 years
I think it is important to communicate your wishes in a ring. If you never communicate the preference, you can't really be upset with the result. For me it is important that I have a ring that is consistent with my personality and fits my personal style.
ThePerfectScore ThePerfectScore 8 years
I made it easy i found an exact replica of the ring I want... of course the ring I have is not diamond or platinum... But everyone has instructions on what to do when it comes to my engagement ring.
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