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Where Is My Long-Distance Relationship Going?

"Where Is My Relationship Going?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I've been having a long-distance "relationship" for a little over a year now. We see each other almost every weekend and talk on the phone just about every night, not to mention the fact that we've gone on a couple of vacations, family functions, and social functions together. I have to say that I'm having feelings for him that make me nervous, seeing how I've only been divorced for two years.

Anyway, this past Tuesday we were talking on the phone and saying our good nights when he stopped and asked what was wrong. I was quite honest and said "I was thinking about a comment you made this weekend and I really want to ask you were this relationship is going, but I'm not sure I'm ready to hear your response." I didn't give him much of an opportunity to respond, said my good nights, and hung up. A few moments later he had texted me about plans for the weekend — after responding — I texted back saying "It would have been really nice if you had stopped me and answered the question." I put the phone down and walked away from it. He responded a few moments later with "I don't know yet." What does that mean? We got together for the Fourth and went to one of his friends' party. Ironically, two of his female friends pulled me aside and asked me where I thought our relationship was going, I wasn't sure what to say.


I'm scared, nervous, and not sure what to think. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me?

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Quriosity Quriosity 5 years
well said, ChrissyLee
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 5 years
So... you put him on the spot, didn't let him answer and then got mad at him for not answering you when you told him you didn't want him to? He's not a mind reader, he was trying to do what he thought you wanted.  If you're going to communicate with someone you have to let them speak back to you and this is a topic you have to approach knowing it's going to be a long conversation.  But before you do, you need to figure out where you want the relationship to go.  If you're going to ask him then he has a right to ask you and you should definitely have an answer.    
bluejay17 bluejay17 5 years
I think us women tend to overthink the situations. He told you the truth "he doesn't know" and you're overthinking this, and there is no hidden meaning behind it, it's just that he doesn't know. But, he appears to be willing to find out, since he goes and sees you every weekend and he's taking you places and meeting his friends. I say, you should take it slowly, you said yourself you've divorced for two years, so maybe taking things slow is the best for you. This is a situation you have to solve together, find out together where this is going and not charging it on him only, he's not the one to decide where it's going, the both of you should. Good luck
Sammyyy Sammyyy 5 years
Okay so take it from me who is also in a long distance relationship. I know defining the relationship can be stressful but the thing is this. His feels r true for u because he comes and see's u every week. I mean why would he bother to come down if he don't care for u. And maybe he's the type of guy that just needa more time then others. As long as u know ur feelings wont change then just relax and go with the flow because from the looks of it u guys will end up OFFICIALY together:)! HEAD UP
BiWife BiWife 5 years
of course you're an "item", you're not still seeing other people are you? If you're exclusive, you're definitely "together". as for his "i don't know". it's just that simple, he doesn't know where the relationship is headed and doesn't have any specific plans/goals set right now. if you're wanting to move the relationship forward, why don't you guys try dating locally instead of just maintaining the casual, long distance relationship. If you're able to see each other every weekend, you can't be that far away from each other. so, moving a bit closer to one another wouldn't be terribly difficult, right?
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