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Which Comes First? Getting Tested For STIs or Sex With a Condom

In a perfect world, we'd make our partners get tested for STIs before getting busy in the bedroom, but as we all know, talking about it and making this kind of request with someone you've recently met can be stressful and a little awkward. So I'm curious, are you adamant about your guy getting tested to make sure he's clear of STIs first, or is having protected sex with a condom good enough for you?


aimeeb aimeeb 8 years
Never asked a partner to be tested, then again I've been w the same guy 5 yrs.
ella1978 ella1978 8 years
Okay, I hate to be the person to crash a party, but I want to bring up a few things. First - HPV. You do not have to have sexual contact to contract HPV & it's orignation is not well known. Granted there is no way to test for it, but be alerted that it's out there, and prior sexual partners is not the only way to contract it. Second - HSV1 - Read Herpes Simplex Virus Type 1. This ladies and gents is your typical cold sore. Your significant other could get it from a kiss from grandma when they are 6. And 60% of people don't even know they have it, because they actively do not get sores on their mouth. It is transferrable when they are shedding (which if they don't get sores, is pretty impossible to tell) and can be transferred to your genitals via oral sex, or even using spit as a lubricant.. It's not impossible to get an STD from a virgin, and honestly, it's not totally impossible that some of you here have one, and dont' know it. Routine STD screening do not include test for either of the above mentioned viruses, and they will only do a Herpes test if sepecifically requested. Just info to keep in mind!
sparklestar sparklestar 8 years
If I have a reason to suspect the guy may have an STD then I wouldn't even be fooling around with him! If he seems to have a shady past or it's somebody I don't already know then I'd want to know his STD status. Honestly though, I've never been in a situation where I have had cause to worry. I always use condoms.
PeachyKeen19 PeachyKeen19 8 years
how can someone feel awkward to ask for testing but jump into bed with no problem? Especially, if you've had a signifant number of partners or sexual history?
Poppie Poppie 8 years
Sex is safest when you wait to do it when you are married!!
sprinkibrio sprinkibrio 8 years
This is going to sound really upsetting to some, but if you broke up with a long-term relationship and were STI-free then you got into a new relationship with someone who was also in a long-term relationship STI-free, I don't see the point of getting tested before. I do once a year with the pap and that is good enough for me when I'm not sleeping around.
xxstardust xxstardust 8 years
I said 'sex with a condom', but only because my boyfriend and I are each other's first and only partners. So it'd be a little pointless to get a test first. In the (extremely unlikely) event that I'm with someone else, I'd be happy to see a test, and would do one too to make it less awkward for him (even though I know I haven't got anything). It's not very likely that that'll happen, at least in the remotely foreseeable future.
leslievanhouten leslievanhouten 8 years
IME, and most of my with a condom first. If it moves to exclusive, that usually means BC pills and STI testing.
TidalWave TidalWave 8 years
I figure between a condom and my pill, I'm pretty safe. I'll ask for a test as the relationship progresses.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
It's interesting to see that (right now anyway), the poll's showing a nearly 2/3 majority "sex with a condom", with "getting tested" and "haven't had sex yet" in the minority with the exact same percentages. I'm curious as to why that is...
Spectra Spectra 8 years
This wasn't an issue for my husband and I, but if we hadn't both been virgins when we met, I would have done STI testing as soon as we were officially dating. There's no reason to risk getting something that you could have prevented fairly easily.
margokhal margokhal 8 years
I second RockandRepublic. If I'm sleeping with somebody, I'd better be the only person being bedded at that time. Also, my sexual health [in addition to my general health] is Priority One - it shouldn't be that big of a deal to get tested and know what the situation is. I also don't take anyone at their word about that kind of thing without having the physical proof to back it up. Testing first - I don't think that's a "perfect world"/idealistic scenario at all.
Pistil Pistil 8 years
I like RockAndRepublic's answer... steady relationship first, then it's not stressful or awkward.
vmruby vmruby 8 years
No guy would have been able to get near me unless he was tested first and I would have no problem getting tested either. I'm not a risk taker and there's no way I would ever be willing to ruin my health by taking any man's word for it.....period.
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 8 years
A relationship comes first, an exclusive one at that. Then we discuss testing.
le-romantique le-romantique 8 years
I actually clicked the wrong one. I clicked tested for STI's... but I haven't even had sex yet, so technically its that one- but I'd still make them get tested before i'd have sex.
miss-malone miss-malone 8 years
Same here... testing first. Better safe than sorry.
beautifulmel beautifulmel 8 years
The older I've gotten, the more serious I've gotten about my body and my health. I won't risk all my hard work to stay STD-free just for sex. STI tests are a must for me, before sex at all. And even then, I insist on a condom every time unless we're trying to conceive. My body, my decision.
bengalspice bengalspice 8 years
why risk it? STI testing first.
GlowingMoon GlowingMoon 8 years
Test for STI. I know that's highly unromantic, but for me, health safety comes first. Likewise, I would be happy to be tested for STI, too.
Ac2366 Ac2366 8 years
I always have sex with a condom first but not without having a discussion about the number of previous partners and prior sexual activity. If I feel weird or get the feeling that he is lying to me then no sex.
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