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Why Not to Bash Your Ex on Social Media

5 Reasons Not to Bash Your Ex on Social Media

Last weekend, Kat Von D wrote a public note on her Facebook page provocatively titled: "Thank you, Jesse James." Certain aspects of her personal note conveyed a message of healthy healing. With that said, there were more than a few stinging comments that seemed a little out of place for someone coming from a place of "love and light."

After a breakup you might have a genuine desire to move on, but any sort of public bashing, whether it's honest or not, is an open ticket for outsiders to misconstrue your words. Openly criticizing an ex on any form of social media is a bad idea; here are five things to remember before you bash and click.

  1. It's not going to make you feel any better. For a hot second you may feel like you've accomplished something, but at the end of the day, bashing your ex on social media is going to do nothing but stir up hurt feelings from the past. Whether you're a public figure like Kat or not, a public bash is an open invitation for your Facebook friends and Twitter followers to give their opinion on your heartache. At the end of the day, the only person who can really make you feel better is you.
  2. It's always better to take the high road. I get it. Your heart is hurt and you want to bring that pain back to your ex. The truth is the bashing or cruel words are not going to do anything but hurt you more. Fixating on your lost love will only make you feel more hurt. No matter how dirty your ex did you, no matter how much you feel he messed up your world, it's always better to keep your nasty thoughts to yourself and take the high road.
  3. If you genuinely need to make peace with yourself, Facebook is not a place to do it. Facebook and Twitter are wonderful ways to connect with people we care about and share information in a whole new arena. But there's nothing worse than opening your stream and seeing people whining or complaining. It's just not the right forum for this kind of conversation. If you're really upset and not sure where to turn, call a close friend or family member. This is always the better option.

Keep reading for two more reasons to rethink bashing your ex on social media.

  1. "If you don't have anything nice to say . . ." Don't say anything at all! This golden rule is taught to little kids all over the world for good reason. Although elementary, it's a wonderful and mature rule to live by. And saying something rude or scathing (no matter how much you feel it to be so!) will always come back to bite you in the butt.
  2. Your ex is going to see it. I know this one seems pretty obvious, but in a moment of heated angry passion, we sometimes forget that Facebook is not a diary for our eyes only. Maybe you've cut off your ex from all your social media outlets, but I assure you, your passionate rant will get back to them. And if we're being real, it's only going to make you look more crazy. And crazy is never a step in the right direction. Especially if you're looking to move on.
Image Source: Thinkstock
onlysourcherry onlysourcherry 5 years
Good choice Betty Wayne. I'm so thankful that in the heyday of my dating years facebook didn't have status updates yet!
Bettye-Wayne Bettye-Wayne 5 years
I've never done it, but I added a guy on my fb recently that I'd gone out on a couple dates with. Maybe this makes me a stalker, but I read his fb updates back a year to his breakup with his last serious girl. He was talking all sorts of terrible shit and bragging about his drinking binges to help get over her. From the one or two comments she made, she seemed like a nice girl and totally undeserving of it. That was only one of a couple reasons I decided not to pursue a relationship with him, but it was a big reason.
Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine Gabriela-Une-Vie-Saine 5 years
I cringe when I see people write Facebook statuses or Twitter updates about their exes. The only people who will care are the people you can talk to about it in person...and everyone else will likely just be rolling their eyes and talking about YOU, not the guy!
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