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Why Can't I Orgasm?

Group Therapy: I Don't Enjoy Sex

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

Hi. I need some help. I am 26 and have been sexually active since I was 18. I am worried that I don't enjoy sex. I have never experienced an orgasm and I have never come, not once. I have been intimate with six different guys and it has been the same with each one of them. I have never been abused. I don't understand why I have this problem. It is so frustrating I don't know what to do. I am losing my confidence. Any advice?

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Venus1 Venus1 6 years
Concentrate on exploring every crevice of your own body. Invest in a vibey and insist any lover gives you plenty (and I mean plenty) of oral. Good luck.
karlotta karlotta 6 years
A lot of guys, especially younger ones, really have no clue how to pleasure a woman. As Spacekatgal said, they just hammer away, and apart for a few exceptions, women can't really come that way. First step is to get yourself off. Don't be embarrassed, it's just the best way to learn about your body, and it may take some time to get you there, but you've probably got a much bigger chance at getting an orgasm by yourself. When you've learned what you like and what gets you off, don't hesitate to give the guy instructions. Not like a drill-sergeant, mind you, more like "oooh, it feels so good here, how about you stick around that part for a while" - fingers and tongues definitely do the trick better than mindless cock-pounding... Then when you've graduated that, let the guy bring you to the brink that way, and penetrate you once you're almost there. Woohoo, hello, orgasm :) By the way, orgasming is very mental for women. If you focus too much on the idea you MUST, then you probably won't. So take it out of the equation for a while - just get in the sheets for the pure pleasure of sharing a moment and exploring your body, his body, and what you like (which is different for everyone, but will probably still be centered around your clitoris!) - and in the heat of the moment, without the anxiety of "shit, why am I not coming", you may just find yourself very surprised!
fmminis fmminis 6 years
Cunnilingus for an hour and two hours of pile driving sex used to work wonders on my old girlfriend, who took forever...
juicebox07 juicebox07 6 years
I've never had an orgasm during sex or with a partner either, so you're not alone. I still enjoy sex very much, however.
lillyflwr lillyflwr 6 years
What popped in my mind immediately...are you on birth control? I know when I am, I have a hard time orgasming. But you also have to figure out what you like. I think women depend on men for this, but they have no idea.
postmodernsleaze postmodernsleaze 6 years
I agree with the above posts about reaching orgasm when alone. Can you achieve an orgasm on your own? Once you learn what works for your body on your own, it's easier to find pleasure with someone else.
GTCB GTCB 6 years
How about the use of, ahem, toys? Ever thought about checking some of those out? If you can bring yourself off alone, someone else should be able to when you're together.
pax4pax pax4pax 6 years
Some people are into sex and some are not. Maybe you just don't really have the desire. If you do have the desire, you need to communicate with your partner. He should want you to cum as much as you do. Intercourse alone is rarely effective for women, so, besides wine and roses, you need oral and manual foreplay. Your brain is your most important sexual organ, so, get with someone who knows how to work that.
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