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Why Did He Cut Me Off

"Why Did He Cut Me Off?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

I was seeing a guy at work for a couple of weeks and I really liked him. Unfortunately we ran into problems and I broke up with him after finding that he wasn't considering my feelings at all regarding a particular situation. I was and still am so into him so it was such a hard thing to do. When I broke up with him he instantly asked me to delete his number and said we shouldn't speak anymore. Since then, at work he has pretended that I don't even exist. The week before, he introduced me to his friends even though we were only a couple of weeks in! I feel so rejected and hurt. If we were friends, maybe it wouldn't hurt so much? I think I was falling for him, but my values were much more important and he didn't respect them. Why did he cut me off that way? Can anyone help?

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egyptianmusk egyptianmusk 5 years
I think you know why he did this to you. A break-up is a break-up, let alone that you initiated it, regardless of the reason. We have to accept that things change after a breakup. I still keep in contact with my ex-boyfriends, but that's only because we didn't work together and we did not have to see each other all the time. The fact that you guys work together is preventing him from healing. I think you know why he is ignoring you. You are just having a hard time accepting it as a fact. It is awkward but you will get over it, definitely.
steph1234 steph1234 5 years
The hurt will go away and you will be fine. You ask why he did this to you, but you are the one who broke up with him...what other choice did he have but to cut ties? Most people don't stay friends after a break up. Move on and good luck!
plmnko plmnko 5 years
Next time a problem comes up,passive aggressive personality,etc,. talk about them,don't just dump a guy. Any issue needs to be brought and discussed. He might not change but at least you tried. When you dump someone explain why. That wat they can grow as a person and learn from it. If you don't they might just be blindsided and hurt. If a guy broke up with me and hurt me,I wouldn't want anything to do with him. If he broke up and I was only interested in dating him,I wouldn't pursue a friendship. Either you hurt him or hes moved on and isn't interested in you as a friend. Either way leave him alone.
Serene18 Serene18 5 years
Men take rejection just as hard as women. Because y'all were not so far into the relationship, he felt it better to just cut you off completely rather than dealing with the potential fact of you being with another man.
Bubbles12 Bubbles12 5 years
"I miss him terribly but my gut feeling (through past experiences) told me that he was not right for me." I don't think your parents you how to work out conflict, be empathic and show respect. That's ok, that's true for many and being an adult means we get to grow ourselves up. You can learn and this is a great place to do it. It's so normal post-breakup to feel very conflicted. You made a tough long-term decision that makes sense. However, did you ever talk with him and communicate your concern, what he does that bothers you, tell him what you'd like him to do differently and give him the chance to learn? My impression is that didn't happen, and it might be a source of the regret. When you're young your dating people who often have no clue, but are willing to learn if presented lovingly and from the perspective of 'we're on the same side'. Women often expect loved ones to read their minds, No human can. So let the guys know what you want and need, very specifically. You'll find it creates a lot more happiness. If you didn't have the conversation, please don't go try to have it with him now unless you want to truly try again and you have some apologies yourself for not communicating with him and cutting him off like that. Please think of how what you're doing affects him. But do not try to have 'the conversation' if you believe it's 'unfixable' and in telling him you're being a friend. You're not. You're no longer together, it's not your business anymore. His cutting you off completely is essential, he has intense feelings and needs as much distance as possible in order to let go and move on. He's respecting your wishes. That says a lot. Now you need to respect your decision and his feelings too. Move on, stop looking to him for any kind of relationship from him. It takes time for emotions to catch up to your actions, but they do.
razeenah razeenah 5 years
The reason I cut it off was because he was already showing signs of passive -aggressive traits and he wasn't considering my feelings at all. I miss him terribly but my gut feeling (through past experiences) told me that he was not right for me.
missmaryb missmaryb 5 years
I agree with the ladies above. When I am no longer in a relationship I don't want to keep hanging out. There are no more texts, no more facebook messages, nothing. He wants to forget about it and move on, as many people do. You were only dating for a short time and you were the one who ended it, so you should respect his wishes and leave him alone. If you really can't forget him, then you need to give him an explanation and an apology and hope he gives you another chance. Good luck.
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