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Why Do People Still Engage in Unsafe Sex?

Last week TMZ captured Tila Tequila outing herself for not practicing safe sex. As we all know, STIs are running rampant. They are not something that should be taken lightly, or even joked about for that matter, which is why I'm pretty surprised that someone who is in the public eye would make a comment like that. Of course, she's entitled to live her life however she feels fit, I just think she's setting a poor example for her fans. I'm using Tila as an example here, but the truth of the matter is that even though we know the potential risks, men and women alike are still engaging in unprotected sex all the time — so what gives? Understanding that we all make mistakes, tell me ladies, what's your excuse for having unsafe sex? And if you don't, why do you think so many people do, despite the danger?


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Janine22 Janine22 9 years
Also, I just wanted to add that I think people still engage in unsafe sex because it's human nature to want sex. It is a very powerful instinct and sometimes there is no condom around. Yes, it is irresponsible/lazy but also a part of our instincts. Also, people just think that nothing bad will happen to them, they rationalize it.
Janine22 Janine22 9 years
Karlotta- I agree with Eilonwy. Ummm... you can trust someone and they could still have something and just not know it. For example, even if you test clean for HIV, don't you have to wait another six months to get retested to be certain? Also, herpes and HPV are not things that are normally tested for, so the person may not have symptoms but still have it. They would not pay to get the test (for herpes I think it cost a few hundred dollars) because they have no reason to think they have it. They could still pass it on to you, and you may get really bad symptoms. Many men do not get tested for STD's to begin with, because they are irresponsible and/or don't want a huge q-tip shoved up their dick. Or, they just get tested for HIV and nothing else. Either way, it's not worth the risk. I agree that if you really trust someone, you will respect that person's body and health enough to use a condom.
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
Instant gratification!! People are lazy, and don't want to carry condoms or root around for it, so they ignore common sense.
Eilonwy Eilonwy 9 years
thank you RockandRepublic! I love reading your comments too :)
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
Eilonwy, you stated it oh so eloquently.
Martini-Rossi Martini-Rossi 9 years
its simple! unprotected sex = self-hate. Plain and simple. You dont care about yourself or your partner enough to protect yourself and him/her.
popgoestheworld popgoestheworld 9 years
bunnyOhare, I laughed out loud at your comment. It was driving me bonkers too! I have had 2 boyfriends cheat on me by having unprotected sex with other women. Then they had unprotected sex with me. I _thought_ I was being safe because I had both of those boyfriends get completely tested before sleeping with them without condoms, and we were exclusive. So sometimes you just never know when it's safe or when it isn't. But I don't use condoms with my current BF because somehow despite my past I choose to keep trusting people. I also think sex w/o a condom feels so so much better.
facin8me facin8me 9 years
Dearsugar, don't you mean "running rampant," not "running ramped??
LoveSarah LoveSarah 9 years
I'm allergic to latex, and while I know you can latex free condoms, they are a lot more expensive and usually health departments don't have them so it's not like you can get them for free, and what guy actually caries around a latex free condom? Plus, the idea of sheepskin as a condom just freaks me out! Now, the only person I have unprotected sex with is my live in boyfriend of 3 years, but I could see how some one who is also allergic to latex might be like "Screw it" because non latex condoms can be hard to find. But, it still all comes back down to laziness.
jessy777 jessy777 9 years
Stupid, lazy, uninformed. The list goes on and on. I listened to a local radio DJ claim that there is no form of safe sex and that people would be in the same boat if they didn't use anything. This is a person very against pre-martial sex and birth control of any kind. She is on a popular local radio show that plays Top 40 so lots of people listen to it. This includes teens and college students. It is this kind of misinformation that leads to such a rampant spread of STIs and unplanned pregnancy. Also, it is not possible to buy condoms in most stores without asking a clerk to unlock the glass safe. How many young people are going to do that? It would be embarrassing for them. Even though I think if you are too embarrassed to ask for protection you are too immature to have it. IMO. I could also blame abstinence only education and the parents for not discussing sex with their kids. I am very passionate about sexual education and help to teach teens and college students how to protect themselves but there just isn't enough resources or desire to give the knowledge they need now and as adults to be safe. It is like pulling a pin on a grenade and closing your eyes hoping it doesn't is still going to happen.
Kelliegrl Kelliegrl 9 years
So true - it's just asinine
MeggyPoodles MeggyPoodles 9 years
LOL I like 356UIK's answer best! "Because they are stupid." so true.
356UIK 356UIK 9 years
karlotta - interesting theory. My best friend used condoms with all of her boyfriends until she got engaged. Then they stopped using condoms and her fiance gave her an STD. Kind of not the biggest deal in the world, but now she has a lot of medical bills to pay and could get cancer from it and not be able to have children. It makes me wonder in this day and age when everyone has had multiple partners, (who have had multiple partners and so forth and so on), that maybe even married people should use condoms for the first 5 years, until they are both sure that neither of them has anything! Unless they dont care about sharing each other's STDs, and some people dont, which is fine when they both know going into it.
356UIK 356UIK 9 years
Because they are stupid. When people are young, they think that they are never going to die. Death is the farthest thing from their minds. They THINK they are so far off from dying that they are invincible. It just isnt even a worry for youths. That is why. Because they are stupid.
looseseal looseseal 9 years
Eilonwy, you raise a great point. Even if you trust that the person you're with would tell you if they have something... well, sometimes people don't even know when they're a carrier for something. Even though STDs are spread through sex for the most part, there are also nonsexual ways of coming into contact with STDs. Like the saying goes: "Better safe than sorry."
Eilonwy Eilonwy 9 years
(I may be in the minority, so I hope I don't offend anyone...) What may be fundamentally wrong with the picture is that many STIs do not manifest themselves in either symptom or testing immediately upon infection. Thus, someone who considers themselves STI free or just broke off a relationship and believes that they (and their former partner) are clean may hardly be so. I do understand the idea that if one doesn't feel a certain level of trust with another individual, perhaps they should not have sex with them. The reality, however, is that people engage in sex with numerous partners and there will always exist countless risk. The staggering and mounting prevalences of STIs in New York City and elsewhere is a testament to this fact. I think it dangerous to equate comfort and trust with condom-free sex. This conceit is already used by some as a manipulation and vehicle of pressure for protection-less sex. To love someone enough to respect their health and level of comfort by wearing a condom, I feel, speaks far more to affection and caring than eschewing protection for the concrete knowledge of barrier-less sex.
karlotta karlotta 9 years
Actually, the reason I don't practice safe sex is that I feel like if you have to wrap someone in plastic before having sex with them, then there's something fundamentally wrong with the picture, and you should NOT be sharing your vagina with that person!! What kind of weird mixed message is that? "I trust you enough to boink me, yet not enough for you to do it without a layer of protection between us"?? Of course I used protection (almost) every time I didn't know a guy well enough to trust him (i.e. know his sexual history and/or have a piece of paper in front of my eyes testifying he was clean) - but EVERY ONE of those times made me feel like crap the next morning, as in "why did I sleep with someone I didn't love?" - so I learned the lesson: if we have to use a condom, then I probably shouldn't be naked with you. But I've also been on the pill for ages, so condoms are really only a protection for STIs to me - I understand those who use them as birth control, that's just a different story.
cjmara805 cjmara805 9 years
I guess people don't want to offend the other by thinking they're dirty... I just don't ever tell people I'm on the pill. Then I say I don't want to risk getting pregnant.
kikidawn kikidawn 9 years
I agree with those above. People just don't think about the consequences ... or if they do they think "well it won't happen to me" ... or "but it's just one time... what can happen one time?" One of my high school friends told me that she truly believed you couldn't get pregnant on your first time having sex. Guess what happened on the first time she had sex? Yep she has a little boy now. (she told me this way after her kid was born)
bunnyOhare bunnyOhare 9 years
Oh this is driving me bananas. It's running RAMPANT, not "running ramped"...
RockAndRepublic RockAndRepublic 9 years
That said, I think mondaymoos hit the nail on the head. It bothers me though because I'm in college and price really isn't a factor when you can pick up handfulls of free condoms practically anywhere on campus.
Exactly! When i was in school condoms were readily available and their were health fairs pretty frequently. Hell, i still sometimes see booths with health info and condoms being given away for free. So i wont make the price of condoms an excuse. it'd be a poor one. It comes down to choice, we all eventually pay for the poor ones we make.
AnnaLove AnnaLove 9 years
Because it FEELS better! But then again I'm 20 and 8 mos pregnant with my boyfriend of 3 mos at the time...
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