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Why Is My Ex-Boyfriend Is Texting Me Again?

"Why Is He Leading Me On?"

This question is from a Group Therapy post in our TrèsSugar Community. Add your advice in the comments!

My ex keeps sending me questionable texts. He was the one who broke it off, all I'm doing is living life. He was the same one who said, "I don't want a relationship for a while, I don't want you to wait, (oh, I wasn't) I just want to be friends because I still care about you."

Oh, OK, but he tells me things like, "I still love you, I care for you, sometimes I think if I made a mistake or not, have you moved on? When are you coming back in town?" This is what he said today.


I playfully responded, "Oh I'm not coming back. I thought I told you that. I transferred." He responded, "No you didn't tell me. If we didn't break up would you have still transferred?" I didn't answer.

Then after that he said, "I feel like I've lost you." I was going to later reveal that I was kidding about transferring to go to a university somewhere else, but I am confused as to what he meant. I'm not sitting around and twiddling my thumbs (I wouldn't jump back into a relationship with him anyhow) but I do want to know what is going on in his head. I started to tell him that he did lose me, but thought better of it and just left it alone.

Have a dilemma of your own? Post it anonymously on Group Therapy for advice, and check out what else is happening in the TrèsSugar Community.

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Join The Conversation
pairodd pairodd 4 years
He is playing mind games. RUN, do not walk, away from this guy. Rest assured that he has multiple "Exes" on his texts that he is trying to string along.I wish I could tell you that you are in a unique situation, but I have seen this so many times now, with my friends, with exboyfriends myself (and I REFUSE to play along).  It is like a breed of dog - you know this is the exact breed by their demeanor...
fresh1721 fresh1721 4 years
If you're over him and have moved on , then why does any of it matter?
matoad matoad 4 years
Baah, mind games and soap opera drama... You sound like you have better things to do :)
farce1 farce1 4 years
Hi, just to comment, I am going through the same thing with my ex, and it's been 11 months. Not sure what she wants ? I do feel you are holding onto something there like : knowing you have some power over him ; you do miss something about him; you haven't moved on; you like playing games with him. Whatever the reason, the best outcome for yourself is to figure out what you want in a partner and work towards that. I myself believe in giving a person a second chance, but I'm not telling you to do so, as I don't know the truth of your relationship. Live life and have fun, and laughter is really the best medicine, peace.
luckyduckyy luckyduckyy 4 years
Just text him once to tell him to stop texting you, that you've moved on and he should too, and that you no longer want to be a part of each other's lives- not as bf/gf or even as friends. Then leave it at that. If he refuses to accept your wish, then he is at fault. But right now, you're both at fault- him for trying to hold onto you after he broke up with you, and you for allowing it. Right now, he's hurting, even though he broke it off with you. He still needs time to grieve the loss of the relationship, even though he's the one that ended it. You need to understand that, and not be confused by how he's acting. Just ignore him and continue with the process of moving on.
henna-red henna-red 4 years
Since he broke up with you, it's none of his business what you're doing with your life of how you're feeling....unless you want to share those things with him. I think that you're sending him a mixed message. You're taking his texts, and responding, so he continues to contact you. Sounds to me as though you both are somewhat confused about what you want. If you're sure you don't want him back in your life, then I agree with missmaryb....ask him to stop texting, stop responding, and if he doesn't then block him. You aren't going to move on if you are continually hearing this stuff from him. My mom had a phrase....crude but true.....shit or get off the pot. Sorry, it's rude, I know. I think you need to decide what you really go back or not, and then follow through so you can both continue with your lives with a clean break or a reconciliation.(personaly, I would let him go, because if he were serious about reconciling, I'd think he'd reach beyond texting and these ridiculous games.) take care.
missmaryb missmaryb 4 years
How frustrating that he broke up with you, you are trying to move and keep living your life, and he won't let you do it. If you really don't want to give him a second chance, you should just be up front and tell him that you need time and space to heal and move on. Ask him to stop texting you, as it's just holding you back. Good luck.
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