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Why Won't My Boyfriend Propose?

Sunday Confessional: I'm Waiting Impatiently For a Proposal

This week's confession comes from our anonymous Confession Booth group in the TrèsSugar Community. Weigh in with your advice below.

I'm secretly holding a grudge against my boyfriend. We've been together for 5 years, and he hasn't proposed. I don't know how to bring it up, so I just randomly get mad at him.

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danakscully64 danakscully64 5 years
How is it you've never talked about engagement up to this point? Really, it's never come up? Talk to him! If you can't talk to him about it, you're not ready for marriage. I was with my ex for 5 1/2 years and while we did talk about marriage, he always had an excuse for why we had to wait to get engaged (wanted a career first, wanted to wait until we were more financial stable, wanted to be a little older, wanted to get his wings as a pilot first), one bulls*** excuse after another. If he gives you excuses, run. Maybe he doesn't know you're ready to take the next step since you haven't talked to him about it. Lashing out will only make your odds of getting engaged drop dramatically.
Burkina Burkina 5 years
Randomly lashing out is not going to strengthen your relationship. If he doesn't want to propose to you, maybe you should stop waiting for it to happen. Not all people feel the need to get married. Why not just enjoy your relationship?
GTCB GTCB 5 years
Let me guarantee you something - you're NEVER going to get a proposal by acting like a random bitch.
Raynne413 Raynne413 5 years
Men don't take hints. They say exactly what they are thinking, and they expect other people to be the same. If it bothers you to the point where you are randomly getting mad at the guy for no reason, then you need to bring up the topic, Nothing like, Why won't you propose, but something just to see where he sees your future going.
mckennady mckennady 5 years
Hunny, you need to have a talk STAT. Nothing crazy, but you need to broach the topic in a way that's compatible with a guy i.e. casual. Bring it up in a casual way like "What do you see for our relationship in the future?" Don't cry, don't make demands, or make ultimatums. If you have been bottling it up for 5 years then you have your answer as to why he hasn't proposed. If he says he doesn't want to get married, then you need to evaluate if you could live with that or if you could leave him.
janneth janneth 5 years
Why not wait 5 more years? Kidding.
AngelineZoe AngelineZoe 5 years
If you can't bring it up after five years, then I think something else is wrong here.
RoaringSilence RoaringSilence 5 years
Obvious troll is obvious.
dahliadreamer dahliadreamer 5 years
No talks. NO WAY. You're only going to scare him away, if that's where he's at right now. Best advice; hints. I never had to do this for my boyfriend since he's been trying to put a ring on my finger since (practically) day one, but something we enjoy is jewelry shopping. Take him down a street or to a mall you know of that has a few sparkle stores with pretty rings in the windows or behind the cases. Spend a day with him there, and all of a sudden, 'OH look at that!' That's all it takes. Drag him over there, and marvel over the pretty things. Gauge what his reactions are. Another one would be vacations. Leave 'honeymoon-like' mags around your place, and maybe one day when he's watching TV or something, leaf through one and say random things (one or two. Not a million!) like, 'This place would be SOOO romantic for a honeymoon!' or 'Oh look honey, they just got married and they went there! We should totally go!' Basically, all it is is picking at a few wedding ideas, as if you're already planning your wedding. Let him think about it, and if it's a dealbreaker, then you did nothing wrong. Sitting him down and making him nervous about the topic has the strength to scare him if that's what it's looking like. Let it look as if marriage is HIS idea, and you'll just smile sweetly behind the scenes and know you did the right thing.
Pistil Pistil 5 years
You probably shouldn't marry a guy you can't talk to about marriage.
juicebox07 juicebox07 5 years
I know how frustrating it can be. I've been with my boyfriend going on 5 years now and don't have a ring yet either. He said he has no desire to get married for about 2 more years (when he's more established in his career). You should at least have a talk with him to find out when in his life he plans on getting married, and tell him that you're ready when he is.
ChrissyLee ChrissyLee 5 years
You're going to have to have this conversation if only for the sake of your own sanity. Getting randomly angry at him is only going to hurt your relationship. Ask him what he sees for your future together as a couple and let him know your feelings. You should decide together when an appropriate time to get engaged is, give him about 6 months to a year. If you can come to an agreement you are then going to have to let it go and just wait for it to happen. If you can't then you know where he stands and you'll have to decide whether or not to stay in the relationship.
Vanonymous Vanonymous 5 years
Well, I definitely think if you are ready for marriage you should feel comfortable talking to him about this. Do you discuss the future together? Do you talk about eventually getting married - but he just hasn't actually popped the question yet? Or has the discussion never happened? I was with my guy for six years before he proposed - but I wasn't in a big rush and we always talked about the future so I knew it would happen eventually. Definitely talk to him about it - but don't come off as angry and impatient. Just ask what his future plans are and if you're included. Let him know that you'd like to eventually get married and sooner than later. Hope this helps!
butterflywings5 butterflywings5 5 years
It's not going to be an easy conversation, but it's a conversation that must be had. I was in a similar situation where I was afraid of bringing it up, and never did which stressed me out; ultimately it didn't work out and at this point I feel like those years were wasted when I could have been with someone who wanted those things. Just tell him you've been thinking about the future and ask him where he sees the two of you going and what his vision for your future as a couple is. Good luck!
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