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Women's Common Complaint: He's Bad at Oral Sex

Women's Common Complaint: He's Bad at Oral Sex

Not everyone is good at everything. Maybe your man is a passionate kisser, sensitive listener, and makes a delicious Eggplant Parm, but when it comes to pleasing you, his skills are slightly lacking. One common complaint I hear from women is that they aren't satisfied when it comes to oral sex. So ladies, if your man seems to be lost when he goes below the belt, don't give up! I'm sure he's really trying hard to please you, so here are some suggestions on how to help make it happen.

  • Maybe there's a problem with logistics. Propping your hips up by placing a pillow under your bum will make it easier for him to reach you. This will also prevent him from getting lower back or neck pain.
  • If what he's doing isn't pleasing you at all, don't fake it. Help him out a little by letting him know what you do like. Give his some specific directions, even guide him with your own hands. At first it may be difficult (and perhaps a little embarrassing), but if you don't ask for what you want, you're not going to get it.

What else might help? To find out

  • When he does do something right, be sure let him know. If you're not into verbalizing your pleasure, a little moan or a squeeze on his shoulder will let him know you like what he's doing.
  • Everyone likes something different so be patient — it might just take a little time for him to get to know what makes you tick.


Join The Conversation
manintheboat manintheboat 9 years
Here is what you do to guide your man toward pleasing your kitty with kisses. First pick a time when you will have plenty of time with no interruptions. Example1: wake up Saturday after a nice time Friday, have breakfast, get showered, and then go back to bed. Example2: make plans for a dinner date movie together, and then "change" the plan on your whim at the last minute by saying you just want to skip straight to the snuggle time. Turn off those cell phones!!! Dress with sexy undies if you like that. No undies can be sexy, but those special lace hipsters can be like a flag signaling him that you are ready to play. Footwear can be key! More on that later... Telling him what you want before you get in position is key. While you are still hugging, kissing and caressing, tell him that your other BFs did not seem to be able to "light you on fire" for some reason, but that you would like him to try. This will kindle his competitive spirit....which is good, but you also need to set a somewhat lower expectation, so that even a little progress can be a base for further progress. Say that you have heard that some girls never really get there, but that you would like him to try and help you have a really mind blowing seem to be thinking about sex a bit more since you have been together, and you want to give it a try now....together. More later..... (Oh yeah....if you shave and wax already, fine. If you do not, don't start now, you don't want to risk the irritation....just trim up close before hand.) More later.... manintheboat
fbaby fbaby 9 years
If he really cares about pleasing you, he shouldn't get mad just by you letting him know how you like it. I wouldn't want my man to pretend, it would just insult me.
justanerd1975 justanerd1975 9 years
you forget the guy that's so defensive one cannot make a suggestion or else he gets mad...another post idea?!
Isista Isista 9 years
I have absolutely no complaints. My boyfriend is a natural and he loves doing it :) And if I ever find that something isn't working for me, we talk about it and we figure out how to make it more pleasurable together. Communication works wonders.
brookrene brookrene 9 years
if the guy is up by my clit it's always kind of been painful for me. :( no bueno. but down by my vajayjay then it's pleasure, but no luck getting the big one from that.
lolabella lolabella 9 years
it's been 13 years. i've done everything you suggested (and waaaaaaay more than you could ever imagine), and i have finally had to wave the white flag and surrender. so that time of my life when i actually got some good oral is just going to be a verrrrrrrrrry distant memory! LOL!
Silverlining10 Silverlining10 9 years
Oh, man...Yeah, my boyfriend loves to give oral, too. We were both each other's first, and in the beginning, I was soo shy about letting a man be that close to me. I mean, I've never even had my face in my own privates! But...He read a book, then became amazing! HAHAHA. I guess that's dorky. Nowadays, we do a long session and count it as one of the sexy times for the day.
seraphimm seraphimm 9 years
to the first comment, the post itself is pretty TMI so don't worry about that hahaha :) I've never gotten a .... mm hmm. I'm curious because I heard it's AMAZING. But I'm not forward enough to say that I want it. HAHA any suggestions or stories?
graylen graylen 9 years
haha, rpenner! I choose to believe the same ; )
rpenner rpenner 9 years
I'm lucky, my man loves to give oral sex. And perhaps it's from years of experience before meeting me, but he's fantastic at it. I just choose to believe he was born with a gift rather than he got it from experience. lol
JaimeLeah526 JaimeLeah526 9 years
Great tips. All it takes is communication to get him to where you need him to be, literally and figuratively.
injustica injustica 9 years
my boyfriend seems to be a natural when it comes to his oral abilities. From the very beginning, even though mine were the first 'lady parts' he had ever touched, he was phenomenal. I've since guided him on a few things, told him what I like when it comes to timing, meanings behind the little signals that I give, etc. I think it's no good to have oral sex at all if you can't be vocal about what you like, what you dislike, and not get discouraged if you don't: a) get it right the first time, or b) don't get your partner off every time.
stefsprl stefsprl 9 years
My hubby says it's a little easier for him when I'm -- ahem -- groomed well down there. He says it's easier to see what he's doing. Sorry if that's TMI, but I have no complaints about his oral abilities, so maybe that will help someone who's not so great!
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