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Women's Common Complaint: Sex Is Too Much Work

Women's Common Complaint: Sex Is Too Much Work

It's a known fact (sad as it is) that women can take a while to warm up sexually. It can be frustrating and awkward too when the guy is doing all he can to hold onto his orgasm and the girl is doing all she can to speed it up so it happens.

Here are some ways to take some of the work out of sex.

  • If you need to, have a vibrator handy. Hopefully, your man knows by now that your clitoris is equal in sensitivity to the head of his penis. That means that the in and out of sex alone usually isn't enough to stimulate you to orgasm. If you need more stimulation while having sex, let the machine step in to do all the work!
  • Masturbate alone. In order to communicate to your partner what gets you excited, you've got to know yourself. Plus if you have orgasms on your own, you won't be so starved for them the next time you have sex.

Want to hear the other ideas? Then

  • Masturbate together. Sometimes sex is about the orgasm (and there's nothing wrong with that). If you and your man are exhausted because it's taking so long for you to get each other excited, then try touching yourselves. Chances are, you know your bodies best, and you know the quickest and easiest way to climax. Plus it can be a real turn on, so it may speed things up even more.
  • Only have sex when you're both really into it. There's no rule about having to make love a certain number of times per week, so if a week's gone by, and you haven't done it yet, don't have sex just for the sake of doing it. Wait until the moment is right and not only will it mean so much more, but your body will be more easily aroused.
  • Try not to focus on the orgasm. The whole point of sex is to share the most intimate kind of closeness any two people can share and to show you love one another. If you are driven by orgasm alone, and it's all you're thinking about, the pressure can just be too intense to make it happen. Try to focus on loving each other up - you don't even have to have sex.


Join The Conversation
nessabum nessabum 9 years
i don't think it's too much work. and i agree with DearSugar's last point about it not being entirely about orgasms only. it's cuddle, connect, holding time, too. and plus, i always feel that much sleepier after.
chakra_healer chakra_healer 9 years
It is never too much work for me,but I may be slutty. :o) If I am tired or mentally drained from grad school, and my SO is ready to go, I either help him out with a bj or hj, or watch him solo cause he loves when I watch his performance. Mina, A lot of women can't have orgasms through penetration alone. It took me years, but the first time it happened... haha, I wore the BF out because I didn't want to lose the ability and had to keep 'practicing'. Now I can totally bring myself to one with a partner or without, takes time for some I think.
minaminamina minaminamina 9 years
Yeah, kendelheart, I do "do it" right. But I also either don't have or haven't yet discovered my g-spot - and it's not for lack of trying. I've never had an orgasm from penetration alone, and think it unlikely I ever will. It doesn't bother me - I have orgasms from oral sex quite easily, and that makes it better! So let's not forget those of us who aren't within that miniscule percentage of women who are lucky enough to have a vaginal orgasm.
barjar1122 barjar1122 9 years
The only position I can get off quickly is being on top. Generally, they love it too. Not too much work at all!
likethedirection likethedirection 9 years
Yeah, I think sex can be too much work sometimes. What about when you've just taken a shower, are relaxed and are ready to fall asleep? No matter how long it takes, you'll still have to get up again, clean off, possibly shower again if you've gotten sweaty, go pee again.... That's work. It's worth it, but it's still a pain to have to deal with.
Lovely_1 Lovely_1 9 years
Sex is NEVER too much work for me! If I'm not horny, and my bf wants sex, he WILL make me horny. And I don't have to do any work! And if I'm horny (I don't have to make my bf horny) then I just blow his mind ;)
k8-rckstr k8-rckstr 9 years
lattegoodness lattegoodness 9 years
wow, that's a lot of exclamation points...
MamaD MamaD 9 years
Oh, honey come on! If sex was work we'd all be employed and all making alot of overtime!!!!!!!If it's that much trouble you're not doing it right or he's not doing it right!!! I suggest you both start being honest and tell eachother exactly what you want!!!!! Talk about beating around the bush!!!!! Maybe we're just lucky that we hit a groove where it all works great and if we want something else we say it!!!! But work? NEVER!!!
sparklestar sparklestar 9 years
Too much work? Jesus. I feel sorry for some people who feel that. Two words - c*ck ring. =D
amyinthesky amyinthesky 9 years
on top of school, work, studying for exams, and trying to get adequate sleep, i sometimes feel sex is too much work. i've been in the same relationship for about 4 years now and sometimes other factors of life just stress me out to where i think it's a hassle to have sex. it can be nice, of course, but if you're not in the mood, it just feels like a waste of time. however, my s.o. doesn't feel the same, since he's a guy it's easier for him to get off and he's horny all the time anyways.
alltherage alltherage 9 years
i get the too much work part. i was in a long termer with a selfish guy like what beaner described. i since tried out the vib. and got the O for the first time. now im ready -- i dont think it will be "too much work anymore!
KerryG KerryG 9 years
Too much work!?!
ducks ducks 9 years
Uh, that's work? :0D I'd like to go fulltime. What are the benies?
kendalheart kendalheart 9 years
Too much work? Uh...isn't it worth it in the end? If it's not, it's not being done right
Beaner Beaner 9 years
A guy I dated a while back used to have this complaint. He was totally selfish and only cared about himself. That relationship didnt last long!
glam-sugar glam-sugar 9 years
Too much work? Even if you had to work at it, the payoff is worth it!
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