Skip Nav
Wedding
The Bride of This Black Tie Wedding Is in the Fashion Industry, So You Know It's Elegant
JK Rowling
The Wizard J.K. Rowling Said Dumbledore Was in Love With Will Shock You
Summer
25 Summer Date Night Ideas

Worst Analogies Ever Written In A High School Essay

Worst Analogies Ever Written In A High School Essay...And yes, there was actually a contest for this. Below are a few of the "winning" (or least profound) entries:

  • Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. - Unknown
  • He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree. - Jack Bross, Chevy Chase
  • The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't. - Russell Beland, Springfield
  • From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30. - Roy Ashley, Washington
  • Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center. - Russell Beland, Springfield
  • Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man." - Russell Beland, Springfield
  • The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can. - Wayne Goode, Madison, Ala.
  • They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth. - Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.
  • The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play. - Barbara Fetherolf, Alexandria
  • Bob was as perplexed as a hacker who means to access T:flw.quid55328.com\aaakk/ch@ung but gets T:\flw.quidaaakk/ch@ung by mistake. - Ken Krattenmaker, Landover Hills
  • McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup. - Paul Sabourin, Silver Spring
  • The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. - Unknown
  • He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. - Joseph Romm, Washington
  • Source

Around The Web
Join The Conversation
Fergie-Ferg Fergie-Ferg 10 years
hahaha! wow.
LizaToad LizaToad 10 years
these are great... i used to work at the writing center while at school and boy have i seen some awful writing like this!
3Sweeties 3Sweeties 10 years
I think the one with the "second tall man" was actually pretty good!
Tiinnaaaa Tiinnaaaa 10 years
hahahahha!
KimmiAnn KimmiAnn 10 years
ROFLMAO!!! Ohhhh I love those! I would rather die a thousand deaths than to see my mother's dress on that spoiled, selfish cow! Danielle - Ever After
Elevenhounds Elevenhounds 10 years
Oh, these are great!! I especially like the hefty bag of vegetable soup. Now THAT'S an image!!
Bar Sign About Why Bartender Is Nice to Customers
Video of Little Girls Rapping Nicki Minaj's "Super Bass"
Car Seat Rules For Children, Tweens, and Teens
Build a Positive Home
Sh'Boss Boys on America's Got Talent
Mom's Dress Code Open Letter to Principal
Latina Mom Memes
Millionaire Wants Millennials to Stop Eating Avocado Toast
13 Reasons Why Not Oxford High School Project
How to Have the Sex Talk With Kids of All Ages
From Our Partners
Latest Love
All the Latest From Ryan Reynolds